


Carousel

by vialactea



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 75,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2682149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vialactea/pseuds/vialactea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Carousel is destined to spin along with the same tune over, and over, and over again...AlternativeUniverse.1827</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bread

_Sometimes Hibari dreams_

_—and sometimes he does not._

His dreams would consist of himself in various situations all with one person. He can't describe the person in his dreams, nor will he attempt to write them down. The words don't exist and even if they did Hibari would have crumbled them up. But what he can describe is the atmosphere, the feeling and emotion that he received from his dreams. They were groundbreaking and he didn't like that feeling at all.

From when he was a small boy to his adult age these dreams would continuously repeat, sometimes, they were consecutive as if the dreams weren't really dreams, but more like memories. Nostalgia.

He doesn't remember when he stopped dreaming (normally), maybe around the start of junior high? Or was it high school? (He doesn't remember because those small, tedious feelings only get in the way.) If so, that is absolutely terrible to stop dreaming at that age. But then again, he is Hibari Kyouya, a stern young man with the lust for carnage between his teeth and edged on his face. He is the feeling of nails inside your mouth, soul silver and stone rough. He felt like some sort of strange freedom, because even with his free will he had pride. He juggles between them carefully.

He is a horribly tidy person, to the point he scrubs his hands so rough they bleed ( but that is to rub the blood of his hands he thinks). He flosses his teeth three times a day, sometimes cutting himself ( because he is never gentle). His dress attire is never casual, always sharp. He dislikes lack of discipline and the feeling of random shirts and jeans on his skin. It's a suit, a vest, a collared shirt or nothing.

With a tie on he was ready for battle.

It's no surprise when he has sticky notes on all his file folders, his pens all in a single cup organized by their color schemes. His house felt more like an office, a golden paperweight on his desk that he received from his subordinate Kusakabe two years ago. It had his name ebbed in Kanji, the characters striking and bold, a bird decorating and spreading its wings at the far corner.

He lived alone, spending his days reading, gathering knowledge and maintaining his area peaceful. Only on occasions he would visit Namimori (Someone had to protect his hometown, who else was more suitable than he?)But today he had enough. He spent too much of his free time thinking of the dreams that invaded his mind, and it made him easily irritated to waste so much time on such things. He felt tied down, so he decided it was enough.

But to have a journal of his dreams?

How absurd, he will bite himself to death for even thinking that.

But even so, he walks to the office supply shop and demands a notebook. Any will do, just as long as it is in his hands in five minutes. The man dashes quickly toward a random aisle, handing the black notebook to the dark customer.

It was 500 yen.

He decided that he would get to the bottom of this, thoroughly and efficiently. Now he had something to record those tedious dreams, and with that, he wrapped it in his suitcase neatly.

* * *

In lunch time at the office he orders from an expensive Japanese restaurant, always choosing the most traditional of dishes (Because they make him think of home, sweet, beautiful Namimori). They are delivered to his office on the eighteenth floor (daily). His secretary always placed his lunch on the desk at twelve sharp with nothing more than a courteous bow and a walk.

He made sure she left, peering over the blinds that were next to his chair, and once everyone else was gone for lunch he began to prepare his feast. 'Feast' seems like the correct word for it. There are three boxes of food and by the end of his forty minute break they would be gone. He was a big eater, perhaps that's why he was so strong, tall. Hibari does not eat in front of others for as long as he can remember. In elementary, when he was working on being the class representative (that was when he about six), he looked the same. They were the same small glare and the same dark eyes. The younger him would sit himself in a corner covering his mouth while he ate, hoping they wouldn't see. It was a bit pathetic he mused (it was a bit herbivorous) , his small body hunched as he ate his bread by the bookshelf. He shook his head as he remembered his younger days.

He had been doing that too much lately.

After he finished his lunch, he wiped his mouth with his handkerchief, placing it on his small breast pocket. Folding it neatly, careful not to stain his desk. It seemed he had ten extra minutes until he would continue to work, but before that he decided to write in his black book.

_Dream 1- On a Saturday._

_I awoke to find myself sitting in a kitchen. I have never seen it before, but it feels familiar. A person speaks to me, placing food in front of me as he washes the dishes. The faucet is heard, and it sounded like a waterfall for I couldn't hear what he was saying. I did not understand._

_But there was some sort of animosity in the air, I was angered and felt like tipping over the table. So I did. As soon as I did so another person waltzes in. A tall dark haired man with a fedora smirks at me and says something to me that I do not like. I can't recall what he said, but my teeth are clenched, my hands are already at my sides reaching for my Tonfa's ready to attack— **and then he woke up.**_

The Cloud Company Kyouya was now leading is one of the most respected law firms around the world, the owners being his father's family. They had royalty in their background, and there were even public records that would go all the way back to the Heian period telling of how they served as the Shogun's personal advisers.

But Kyouya didn't care about all those trivial things, nor did he care about his education to succeed the company since he was six years old. He chose to keep the company because he wanted to, not because someone told him to. He just wanted them to know that. He just wanted everyone to know that.

* * *

Hibari decided to take the train to his expensive apartment every Thursday. In his mind, he thinks that the reason he can't see the stars in the city is because of all the pollution from the cars and the factories. Namamori wasn't like this. In Namimori you could see the moon in the day time. That's how clean it is. The stars were a million and he would often look at them, sipping his tea on the balcony of his traditional house.

He is being considerate after all; he is helping this miserable city rejuvenate itself into something worthy. On the subway trains there are many herbivores needing discipline. Severe discipline.

 _From this day forward,_  he spoke in his mind,  _I will carry my tonfas when I board the train._  There are too many herbivores crowding around, too many for Hibari that is. They all cling to each other in warm dependence. It made him sick.

Of course by the time Hibari became a frequent passenger the others knew to give the man some space. Tonfas or no Tonfas he will bite anyone to death for crowding around him. He sat erect, his hands placed on both of his legs clenched. The train moved roughly across the train tracks, dropping off passengers and collecting passengers. Hibari does not care for the people around him, as long as they do not disturb him he is fine.

Recently, a clumsy passenger always manages to trip toward his expensive black shoes. It occurs so frequently he has it memorized by time(7:45) and clenches his shoes in as not to soil them from the clumsy idiot. Only today does he even bother to look up, it was a teenager with brown hair, except, he really wasn't a teenager. He had on an identification card that said his name in bold letters 'Sawada Tsunayoushi', complete with a crest of a school. He is a teacher, not a student. This herbivore seems familiar, but Hibari does not care. He shouldn't care, and just as quick as he looks up, he turns toward his suitcase to take out a black notebook.

_Dream 2- On a Monday._

_This seems like a continuation from the last dream. It's in the same setting except I'm not sitting by the table. I'm standing up looking down on that person. He expresses herbivorous feelings and I bite him to death. ( Except I do it gentler, and softer than I usually do.) It doesn't feel like it's me. In my dreams I act on impulse, which leads to more herbivorous situations. I want to know what they mean. I want to know why I dream this way. Maybe the rest of the herbivores and carnivores in the world dream as I do? They hide their confusion with a poker face…and if that is so, then everyone is dishonest._

**_—and that's all Hibari can remember before he woke up._ **

"Ah, excuse me..." A soft voice is heard from his right, it was the clumsy herbivore. "You seem familiar, have we met before?"

But Hibari said nothing, and looked at him with slanted eyes. They seem to speak volumes but among them they mostly said '  _Don't talk to me._ '

The mousy man apologetically bowed, and placed his hands on his lap as if he had said nothing.( It seemed to Hibari that the man did that often, and it made him aggravated, a sharp pain in his forehead.)

That was the first time they met in this life.

* * *

Hibari commenced to walk up the stairs of the train station ( he disliked escalators because all it did was ease the life of many herbivores who needed the exercise), his polished shoes clicking as he did so. On the top of the stairs was a foreigner with a strange haircut, dark hair that looked a bit blue in the streetlight. He was talking on the phone very loudly and emitting a strange laughter ever so often.

"Then Chrome," He spoke in a slight accent. "Please have the files ready when I get there." He walked the same stairs Hibari was on and their paths crossed, Hibari going up, the foreigner going down. He disliked people like that. People that wanted to stand out from the crowd, all they did was cause trouble for the community and commit some sort of change in others. And from the looks of it, this pineapple herbivore (because the hair reminded him of said fruit) was the worst one he'd seen. His clothes were too eccentric, not to mention strange. Hibari wanted to tell him '  _Get the hell out of my country_ ' but he remembered he wasn't in Namimori anymore. Nothing belonged to him here.

* * *

A week passed, and here was Thursday again.

His black book still in hands reach in the leather suitcase. He had thirty five pages full, front to back. With that, Hibari decided that the book should be thrown away the moment the pages were full.( Or burn it, he thought.) If he can't stop thinking of those dreams then he would throw them away. All they were to him were just a burden. He didn't need them.

It was already 7:45 and just as he was going to lift his boots up (today he opted for a sepia oriented look) , he realized he didn't need to. The herbivore who would usually dash to the train walked slowly with his head down. Walking slowly, and miserably.

He was crying.

And what a pathetic sight he was. The young teacher's eyes were red and puffy, hiccupping ever so often as Mucus ran down his nose. Disgusting, pathetic, an eyesore. Did he not know that showing weakness will make him lose the battle?

The herbivore picked up his cellphone (which was vibrating in his pocket) and sniffed.

"Hello? Reborn? I got fired from my job... I'm sorry! I…I don't know how it happened. I was just pulled aside from the principle that today would be my last day at the preschool academy. No! I'm not sad because of my financial status... "

Sawada's eyes became firm, yet kind.

"I feel so guilty leaving the children like that, they'll be so heartbroken."

The train stopped, the doors opening as passengers went in and out, and at that time Hibari's legs were almost outside the door. And if he was any other person beside Kyouya, he would have reached in toward his breast pocket to give the boy his handkerchief and maybe some kind words in comfort.

But he wasn't anyone else. Although he did turn around, his head tilted and turned to the herbivore who blinked at the man in surprise and in embarrassment.

**_"You're pathetic."_ **

And the doors closed.

* * *

Hibari Kyouya is stubborn; that much is an understatement since it is inconceivable how stubborn he can be. He hated change and fought tooth and nail for it to stay the same, the Hibari Kyouya way.

But today would be a startling change, when a man in a fedora comes in, his suit calling respect and obedience. He did not have an appointment, nor did he call in to the office before, nor did he receive a visitor's pass. He walked in because he could and he walked in because he felt like it. Wao, another carnivore.

Hibari smirked, but it slowly turned into a light frown as a short young man appears behind him, looking quite nervous and fidgeting. It was that herbivore Sawada Tsunayoushi.

The man with the fedora slowly reached for his hat, revealing dark hair, and darker eyes.

"My name is Reborn," He began. "I'm a representative of the Vongola multi-corporation. And this-" He placed a hand on the herbivore's shoulder." Is Sawada Tsunayoushi, our freshly appointed president. We would like to fuse your company with ours. As we already did this to the Mist , Lightning ,Sun, Storm, and Rain corporations, we see it is in your best interest as well as ours to commence a partnership."

The Vongola had strong ties with governments around the world, it had several different divisions , such as being a media conglomerate(courtesy of the Mist and lightning ) , a Gym franchise ( Sun), a sports store franchise ( Rain) and the sole sponsor of many prestigious universities ( Storm). For Hibari not to accept he would be a fool, but he wondered on how an unemployed clumsy idiot gained so much power over a night.

After the paperwork was done, Reborn excused himself to use the restroom leaving Tsunayoushi and Kyouya in the meeting room. It was awkward to say the least.

"Y-you are the man from the train..." The herbivore began. "I just..." Tsunayoushi had wanted to say he gulped his words down and decided to have a light conversation instead. Why he thought the man would react differently in work would be a mystery. "It's really surprising how we just met in such a strange way...I guess it must be destiny!"

"I hate that word."

The brown haired man slowly looked up at the other who know had a firm grip on the back of his chair. Hibari was standing up.

"There is no such thing as destiny. Destiny or fate, those are simply fictitious words made by herbivores who use it as an excuse to explain when things don't go their way. They are failures because they chose to be. They are over achievers and carnivores because they chose to be. I make my final decisions and I'll be damned if someone else chooses things for me, I choose my own way. Whether I bloom or fall is up to me."

Hibari did not know why he seemed so desperate (that can't be because he isn't that, not at all) as to make the other man believe in his words. How Hibari thought that just by saying words that they would came true to him. He just wanted them to know that. He just wanted everyone to know that. And the Herbivore smiled a sad smile, a knowing smile that made him appear wise and less than a herbivore and more like an omnivore and said-

_"It would be nice if that were true."_

* * *

_**We had a promise made.** _

Those words ringed in Hibari's ears since the day he had met the timorous man in the cream white suit. No matter how much paperwork he preoccupied himself with it wouldn't leave him alone. And the strange thing was, he doesn't remember to whom he had made the promise to.

* * *

Hibari awakes the next day running to catch the train. But it's strange because Hibari Kyouya does not run. It's very cloudy today and there are no people in the street. He could see his breath in the air, looking like smoke from the cigarettes he hated so much.

He arrived on the platform entering the train, looking for a seat. Finally, he decided to sit on a chair located near the window. The train was deserted, but he didn't think much of it and only hummed pleasantly to himself (for there were no herbivores crowding around him.) But something breaks him out of his good mood as he sees a mousy man appear before him, bowing a ' good morning'. It was that Sawada Tsunayoushi.

"Dear Passengers, it seems the train is experiencing technical difficulties, please wait patiently until further notice."

Hibari growled. He was punctual and hated to wait for anything or anyone, he turned around toward the window at his side to see that it was already night time. But wasn't it day time just a second ago? He must have been mistaken.

Hibari lifted his sleeve to see his wristwatch. It was 7:30 in the evening. He was going home around this time, but wasn't he just arriving at work? The dark haired man looked at the ground beneath him, except not really looking at it. He was recalling his steps up until that very moment, making sure this wasn't a mistake of some sort.

Then Tsunayoushi is smiling, that sort of smile as if he were patronizing the other.

"Are you lost?"

Not a word was spoken, but the brown haired man began to chat.

"It's really strange that the train would stop so suddenly. Trains are so advance now a-days. Did you know that the Falcon train operates 300 miles per hour? That's really fast isn't it?"

Hibari was irritated.

"But the fastest things always crash and burn," the man said suddenly. "The bullet trains that the government takes so much pride and money in are very destructible. It doesn't matter how perfect something is, it always fade away."

There was silence, but Hibari remained still, there was something squeezing his chest.

Maybe we should switch to something more Eco-Friendly. But people are in so much of a hurry. They're always running somewhere, except their always running in the wrong direction."

That lowly herbivore says knowingly." . _..it would never work out_."

Because he isn't stupid and he knows what the dreams mean. And Hibari growls, and stands up. He doesn't know why it irritates what the other man said, he doesn't know why but he knows the meaning behind those words.

"Then get the hell out of my face." Hibari snarls as he stands up, his suitcase in hand reaching toward the door.

When he's outside he begins to walk in a quick place, never looking back. The clouds in the sky begin to evaporate and leave a bright sun. He doesn't care that it's morning now, when just a few seconds ago it was night, it doesn't make sense. But then again, nothing is supposed to make sense. It doesn't make sense that he lives in a city that he hates, it doesn't make sense that he keeps dreaming about things he doesn't want to know, things he doesn't want to hear, it doesn't make sense as to why he was so anti-social, and it didn't make sense that even though he was a lawyer with the highest education possible he still had no freedom. This freedom is false. True freedom is no one knowing who you are, leaving to somewhere where no one else is around. Like a forest in the woods, or some desolate island where there would be bountiful of coconuts.

Hibari heard footsteps. They were getting closer and closer. It was that herbivore. He was carrying Hibari's handkerchief. How did it get there? But when he looks up, he doesn't care, nor does he care that the owner of those eyes is that person. That person who he dreams with frequently. He wants to leave because the indifference to the world, the wall that he tries so hard to keep up was about to be torn down. He showed anger; he showed something other than an apathetic face.

"Hey mister you left—"

But before Tsunayoushi can even finish his sentence a car smashes into him. Their eyes lock , deer with steel and Hibari just stood there watching. No expression, he wasn't even thinking. In that moment he was a camera, recording but cold. There was Sawada Tsunayoushi leaving a trail of blood gushing out of his head. What in the world was going on? But Hibari does not show his confusion, he keeps his feet on the ground, where their supposed to be, should be. But he can't help himself and he begins to move forward, like he's lightly jogging, but then he starts running like he's on fire. Screams were heard, sirens filled the night, and he wants to call the man ' _stupid_ ' and  _'herbivore_ ' and he wanted to tell him' _Wao, you are the boy in my dreams' but he can't because he's —_

* * *

__—_ and then he woke up._

* * *

Hibari sighed, it was a Friday.

* * *

 


	2. Crackers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Carousel is destined to spin along with the same tune over, and over, and over again...AlternativeUniverse.1827

In Tsunayoushi's life he had always been a supporting actor.

He was the youngest of a family of five, his two elder brothers were blessed with all the talent, and strength, and greatness; they were the leading actors for as long as he remembered. He never questioned as to why it was that way, he merely accepted that he would never measure up to his brothers and managed his own activities. Tsunayoushi set limits for himself and always achieved below them never going beyond the required. It was enough never to draw attention to himself yet neither enough to disregard him completely. After all, his eldest brother Giotto and second eldest Dino were enough to make their parents proud. They were enough to move their family up in the world, to keep appearances for their father's side of the family. Tsunayoushi was just a spare.

( _Because it was his destiny, he thought.)_

He was meant to be this way. So why bother changing it? It's not like it irked him.

Most would become depressed or even a bit stressed about his predicament, but not him. If he was around his family and friends then it was good enough for him.

Tsunayoushi was six years old when he began to dream. Strange dreams, not the sort of dreams where he found himself in CandyLand or even in Tokyo Disney. The dreams he had at the time had him doing great and wonderful things. Like flying in the sky like some sort of star fire, crackling and leaving behind smoke. He had other sorts of dreams too, where he had metal gloves with fire on his head and on his arms. But above that, people asked him what to do. People went to him for suggestions and decisions. He was regarded in the highest respects possible, he was the  _leading actor._

So,  _ **no**_. No, he did not feel bad at all for being a complete peasant in his life when he was a prince in his dreams. He was certain he was of uttermost importance because in all his dreams he would  _die._

One time, he decided to tell his elder brothers at the park about his dreams. He didn't really have much friends but he took pride in being close to his brothers. When he told Giotto ( he was ten) the blond looked at him sadly and said " Nothing is going to happen to you little brother."

When he told Dino (he was eight) the brown eyed boy looked confused and said " I think you watch too much of Reborn's crazy mafia movies."

But whether they believed him or not he knew it to be true, and whenever he woke up (even though he would always die in his dreams) he awoke with the feeling of absolute contentment.

* * *

_So is it my destiny to die, I wonder?_

* * *

Sawada Tsunayoushi stared with his mouth open at the moving van in front of him. His belongings were moved to the sidewalk leaving the young man to carry it all on his own toward the freshly rented apartment. To make matters worse the elevator was not working, what sort of luck did he have? It was probably Reborn who had told the moving helpers to leave his possessions there, just to give him a hard time of course.

At that exact moment the brown haired man's cellphone vibrated, revealing a text message that looked something like this—

'You need the exercise No Good-Tsuna (heart). '

The boldness of that man never seemed to fail to astonish Tsunayoushi. Reborn even added cutesy heart to the end of the cryptic message. And what impeccable timing. Since Tsunayoushi was a young child Reborn had the talent of reading his mind (or perhaps he was just simply too easy to read.) Reborn whose family was close friends with his father's, his godfather, his 'Uncle' as he was forced to call him,  _that_  Reborn.

He didn't want to believe that to be true.

But then again what was he supposed to believe in anymore? Anything and everything is possible now. Since, he, at age twenty two was fired from his job as a preschool teacher, but soon after became appointed president of one of the most respected and wealthy corporations in the world. If all of that happened in just a single night, and to him of all people, then he saw no ends to reality.

It was funny how you think you finally know how the world works, but then it does something incredibly (horribly) ludicrous that you have to rethink everything you have ever thought of to be true.

 _It must be destiny_ , he thought that night, and he wonders why he keeps forcing that word on himself.  _ **Destiny.**_  As if his entire being was based on it.

His whole family assumed that the Vongola company would go to his cousin Xanxus. After all, he was the much more suitable one, with pure Italian lineage, an impressive demeanor and an education far beyond his reach. Tsunayoushi had only met him a couple of times but just standing next to him he could feel the power emanating from him (and the rage). But color them surprised when Tsunayoushi's name was on the old man's will (not Xanxus) stating in messy cursive '  _I hereby give free reign over my company to my youngest grandson, Sawada Tsunayoushi . Vongola Xanxus will be appointed the Vice President, my possessions will be split evenly is as follows –_ ' But that was all his relatives could read before they dropped the letter in shock.

While the others were engulfed in chaos and outrage about the new successor, Tsunayoushi mourned for his beloved grandfather. He remembered like it was yesterday when he had fixed his tricycle adding new tires and small bells to the handles. While everyone else remembered him as the man with the fortune, Tsunayoushi remembered the man who gave him sweet candies and the one whose heart he felt when they embraced.

 _'Goodbye Nonno._ '

His two elder brothers Dino and Giotto were opposed to it.  _Little brother knows nothing of business and communications. Little brother does not know anything of the world._  That they would take the slack for him and run the corporation their way. And Tsunayoushi didn't say anything, because he knew it to be true. He was content staying in his preschool with the children that adored him so, the children that saved him because they needed him. The feeling of being needed and wanted was what he had lived for all his life—but that soon was taken from him.

He wasn't going to accept. He was going to sign off the papers to give the corporation off to his brothers, but before that he was standing inside his late grandfather's room. Leafing through his old photo albums and trinkets. Tsunayoushi traced a picture of him and his Grandfather when he was five. Serenity and an eternity could be seen in that photograph, and just as his eyes went half lidded, Xanxus stepped into the room.

Xanxus's eyes were bloodshot, but he did not look at the other. No, he merely looked toward the window and seemed to have a conversation with it. But Tsunayoushi knew, he knew the gaze was directed at him so he responded and listened.

"I don't care about your decision, trash. I don't know what you think you're doing signing off those documents and I don't give a shit." Xanxus crossed his arms and glared as the sunlight left him a shadow.

"All I know is that the old man wanted  _you_  to lead the corporation, not your dumb ass brothers.  _He wanted you_."

He turned his giant frame toward the figure on the bed, this time fully facing the timorous man. The only time Xanxus had ever looked face to face at Tsunayoushi.

"I won't allow you to give it up scum. Are you a coward?"

Images flooded the shorter man's head. It felt like the whole room was shaking and in its quake leaving birds and their exotic feathers floating around him and Xanxus. In that moment they were the only two beings on earth.

_'Are you a coward?'_

_'You aren't worthy of being in Vongola .Trash.'_

Tsunayoushi felt as if he had this conversation before (or something like that) with the man in front of him. But it's strange; he never talked to the man prior to this. Besides the occasional greeting and small talk, it wasn't anything more than that.

"B-but I'm not good enough to-"

"Not good enough?" The man spat. "Then make yourself good enough. If you don't do as I say I'll kill you. I'll never forgive you for as long as I live."

The feathers kept falling in between them, but Tsunayoushi was sure the other could not see them. They were Peacock's feathers and Blue jays and Crows. Lovely shades of red and blue, but still, the brown haired man didn't look at Xanxus. He only continued to flip through the pages of his grandfather's photo albums. And in every picture he imagined Nonno looking at him with a disappointed expression. When he did that, a fire grew within him. Something that wasn't there was planted inside him.

"I'll do it." He stood up. "I'll do it Xanxus-san. For my grandfather. For him."

Xanxus smirked, and placed his feet on a stool near him, right beside the silver feathers that collided with his leather.

"We begin tomorrow."

* * *

He was out of breath whenever he reached the top of any level of stairs, and while most people would have taken ten minutes to walk to his apartment it took him thirty minutes since he kept dropping his belongings. When he approached the exit to the stairs, he stopped. The hallway to the apartment looked to be like some kind of horror film scene, as it seemed endless. For some reason it reminded him of a story Reborn had told him once. He told him a story of a house with millions of doors. Whichever door you would open it lead to another door, and another hallway. So it was a house where eternity was attainable. You would forever be there, opening doors and closing them. When Reborn finished his story Tsunayoushi turned to him and said—

"I wouldn't try to open a door. I would just stay still."

And Reborn glared at him and then slapped him silly.

"You don't wait for anything, you understand? You make things happen and you can't make things happen standing still."

He was in front of his apartment door, the numbers '04' staring right in his face. In his head, he was prepping himself that this was now going to be his new home. He did this because he felt out of place here, since his previous living space used to be in a less fortunate community.

He was used to loud noise, people being obnoxious and knocking on his door with a warm greeting asking him if he'd like to join the family for dinner. He'd accept with a smile and ask them to  _'please hold on I'll go get my shoes'_. It saddened him to think that it wouldn't happen anymore. Just standing in one place here felt foreign (but he would make the best of it).

He was about to open the door until he saw Kyouya, the man who did not believe in destiny and the man who rode the train every Thursday. The dark haired man was locking the door to his apartment. His door was the last one in the hall, the one near the stairs and elevator.

He had so much more presence than Tsunayoushi would ever hope to have.

( _Why can't I be like that?)_

A sharp pain went to his chest this time.

_**We had a promise made.** _

"Ah, G-good morning Hibari-san." A curt bow. "What a coincidence. I'll be your neighbor from now on, please treat me kindly."

But the taller man did not even acknowledge his presence and walked as if Tsunayoushi had never said anything.

* * *

Tsunayoushi's apartment consisted of a kitchen merged with a large living room (the kitchen reminded him of a bar) and a bit further was a bathroom and shower, followed by two medium sized rooms. ' _This is too much for just one person',_ he sighed.

He had told Reborn (and Xanxus) that even though he had accepted the position as president of the Vongola he wanted no special treatment. Meaning all those luxuries was out of the question for him to accept. That _no_ , he  _did not want_  a limousine, and  _no_ , he  _did not want_  to leave his one room apartment (it was good enough for him,  _really_ _ **, honestly**_ ).But all of these things fell on deaf ears as Reborn ( who was seated on his expensive black lacquer desk ) turned to him and said ' _Shut up_ ' and that ' _Good enough doesn't cut it_ '.

When Tsunayoushii frowned and said "But I like my apartment." Reborn carelessly said, '"No you don't." Reborn always does that. He always pushes ideas and words onto him.

"You deserve better No Good Tsuna , you will not be living in that dump on my watch."

That 'dump' as Reborn so kindly put it was some sort of personal triumph for Tsunayoushi. Because no one knew it, but it was how the brown haired man attained some sort of self-worth. To prove to himself and to everyone else that he could find his own place, that he was capable of making choices for himself.

It was at a random dinner in the Sawada household. It was a day when his elder brothers stopped by a visit from the city, the place that everyone in town wanted to leave to, the place that the television spoke of to be made out of diamonds and pretty sharp things. Reborn was there as well, he was on vacation and he insisted on helping little Tsuna on his arithmetic.

The teenage boy found it as good a time as any to speak of his plan. He coughed loudly to get everyone's attention.

"What is it No Good Tsuna?"

"Well…" He began. "I'll be graduating next month."

His eldest brother Giotto gracefully wiped the ends of his mouth. He was seated on the center of the table (their father's seat), looking up at his smallest brother in warm affection.

"I'm aware of that little one."

Beside him was their mother, who was raising a hand to ward off her happy tears. "I'm so relieved! I honestly didn't think you'd have passed your high school exit exam!"

His second eldest brother Dino was seated right next to Tsunayoushi grinning.

"Ha-ha, mama don't tease little bro like that. So you're going to the community college around here?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about..." His eagerness to tell his family was diminishing in a matter of seconds; after all they just told him their expectations. Community College, probably living at home with his mother. Did they think he was meant to stay here forever? He loved Namimori…but what he wanted to be was to be  _free_.

"Well tell us No Good Tsuna." The ebony haired man was tapping the table impatiently. "My food is getting cold."

"After graduation I'll be living on my own." Silence. "I'm going to a good college in the city for my teaching credentials. Its three hours away from here, and I already checked the apartment! The rent is cheap and I'll be working as a student-teacher at a local elementary! Isn't that great? I..."

He took a deep breath as he played with the table cloth, his eyes shimmered with pride.

"…did all the paperwork myself."

But when he looked up everyone was frowning. Even his mother, she bore a worried look on her face (the kind she wore when he would often trip down the stairs). It took about twenty seconds each for all of them to react. Three chairs were pushed out of the table.

Reborn stood up, cocking a pistol and removing safety. Pointing it right at Tsunayoushi's head.

Giotto threw his dining material and utensils on the floor. His face showing nothing but rage.

Dino did the same thing as his elder brother, but proceeded to take out a whip (he had it earlier from his horseback riding lessons).

"I won't allow it!" They all chorused.

The Sawadas were a cheerful and courteous bunch, but like a women scorned, hell hath no fury like an enraged Sawada (and Reborn).

So Tsunayoushi did the only thing he could do and went up to his room with his tail between his legs.

* * *

Before Tsunayoushi could unpack he had to do a mountain of paperwork, and before even that he needed the signature of a distant man, the owner of the Cloud company. He quickly looked for something fancy and called a cab.

He did not want to go meet the man again, not when he intimidated him greatly. Although something stirred within him, as if he owed Hibari-san something. Other than that, the man's opinion on his person was on a high pedestal. But why? He had only met the man recently besides the train station. He shouldn't care about what a stranger thought of him. Even so, he knows he feels the same way around him as he did with Xanxus that one time. Then Tsunayoushi realized that  _he did_  owe Hibari-san something, but he wasn't sure what it was.

We had a promise made.  _But what?_

* * *

When he arrived in front of the Cloud company, he opened the cab door and began to vomit violently on the pavement.

* * *

After brushing his teeth in the restrooms he went inside Kyouya's office. (Of course with an appointment and with a call two hours prior). Kyouya did not welcome him, just simply stared at his own amount of paperwork. Tsunayoushi knew that if he did not begin the so called 'conversation' it would never start, so he commenced.

"I need for you to sign these papers for me. It's for establishing the agreements. Please feel free to look over it and turn it in tomorrow the latest."

As soon as he said these words the dark man's eyes were on him. Steel narrowed, and swiftly raised his hands for the papers. He looked at them with quick speed and signed them, sternly and neatly.

"That would be all, thank you Hibari-san."

The younger man could breathe again, and just as he was heading out the door, a voice made him stop.

"How did you get this position herbivore?"

Tsunayoushi was confused for a minute, but then regained his composure. Of course, he really didn't look like a businessman did he?

"My grandfather was the head of the Vongola. He passed away recently." Sadness laced his voice. "I wasn't going to accept the position but in the end I chose to do so. I mean...I'm not cut out for this…none at all…and..."

Kyouya looked at Tsunayoushi with his head tilted and his chest swelling with pride.

"That is the problem with herbivores _. You never rise._ "

The mousy man could not keep his eyes off the other, no matter that he felt like he was five years old all over again, being scolded by Reborn and his magical house with millions of doors.

"You need to go above everyone's expectations for you. That is what sets the carnivores and the herbivores apart."

Tsunayoushi's lips trembled, but he spoke steadily.

"You are right, Hibari-san. One must go through pain because it's worthwhile."

And Kyouya jolted lightly, like a small tremor shook him, because Tsunayoushi's voice sounded familiar, a familiar sound from a forgotten dream.

"Hibari-san do you believe in miracles?"

The dark haired man lifted his head up slowly with an incredulous look. His mouth in a flat line.

"If I don't believe in destiny why would you think I believed in miracles?"

But the look the other man gave him left him unsettled. This whole conversation left him with nothing but an ominous feeling.

"I hoped you would have."

* * *

This happened when Tsunayoushi was still in Namimori, but just barely.

This happened a day before he would leave to his life in the big city. It was a regular Saturday afternoon when he was on a stool reaching for a box of rice crackers. He had made himself some tea and it would just hit the spot.

Reborn was sitting on the kitchen table drinking some of the tea Tsunyoushi had made. They were going to watch a movie along with his elder siblings who had just returned from the corner store.

"Here, " Dino grinned as he reached for the box of crackers effortlessly. " Let me get that for you."

What would happen would startle everyone, for that was the first time they would ever see their youngster's pain.

"No! Don't get it for me. In fact,  **don't get anything for me!** " The brown haired boy screamed .His voice shrill and desperate. "I don't need it! I can do this all by myself, why don't you let me do things for myself for once? I'm not useless; I am a capable person, I- I-"

His whole body shook as everyone stared at the sobbing young man on the stool.

"I…I am such a nothing."

Everyone in the room was still, only the cry of the cicadas could be heard in that clear night, that and sobbing.

"Am I really stuck here to just repeat the same thing?" By that point Tsunayoushi was speaking but it really wasn't him, yet it was. It was like he was dreaming, and the  _'dream him'_  was in control. "I want to do something, I want to be free. I want to get out of here. It's like I'm going in circles...like I'm not aware of the run in my mind at all..."

* * *

The next morning Dino kept tripping on Tsunayoushi's new suitcases that the whole family had bought especially for him.

* * *

When Mukuro spoke to Tsunayoushi he always spoke in Italian (his home tongue), but the latter always spoke in Japanese. Sometimes Mukuro wondered if Tsunayoushi actually understood him and just for good measure he would talk about adulterous behavior (which earned him a slap on a shoulder and a good nagging).

"If I would have called anyone other than you I would have become distracted." The short man explained as he was fixing himself some tea. His cellphone was in between his shoulder and ear.

"Are you implying I am not worthy of a distraction Sawada Tsunayoushi?"

Of course this was in all good nature, the voice said it all.

"First and last name bases are we Mukuro-san?"

"Of course my dear, I like how your name roles off my tongue."

"Don't start teasing me, Mukuro-san. I've had a real heavy day today." Tsunayoushi said this as he poured peppermint tea in an orange mug.

"My, my, what could ever have you so distraught? That reminds me, tomorrow I'll have the documents ready and I'll need your signature. I'll be dropping by tomorrow, perhaps we should do lunch?"

A smile.

"Sounds great! Sorry for calling you like this, I can't eat without having someone to talk to."

" You're a strange one Tsunayoushi-kun, but it's fine. I was reading a book was all. Wonderful stuff."

The mousy man opened the plastic containers to reveal thick white rice. He place it in a small bowl.

"What were you reading?"

A smirk.

"Dante's inferno."

"Hiieeeee."

The foreign man's signature chuckle could be heard over the phone.

"How was the move?"

"Haven't finished unpacking, I've been so busy...and these dreams and headaches are killing me."

The Japanese man massaged his temples.

"More dreams? Well you know what they say Tsunayoushi kun." Mukuro's voice over the receiver sounded blurred. Like a fish underwater, like drowning. "Like in that one children's rhyme."

"Which one?"

"It's a nursery rhyme." That old English rhyme about a boat."

"Oh !" Tsunayoushi clapped his hands together. "  _'Row, row, row, your boat'_? That one?"

The brown haired man then began to chant the rhyme in broken English, much to the amusement of the man on the other side of the telephone. Mukuro's lips raise upwards just a bit.

**"Row, row, row your boat,**

**Gently down the stream**

**Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,**

_**Life is but—"** _

Tsanyoushi stopped speaking; his head felt like a million of needles were being poked through it. He saw the feathers in his grandfather's room, he saw his tears as he told his family his fears and insecurities, but above all he saw Hibari looking at him with disgust and disappointment because of the vomit he had left on his company's door.

_"—a dream."_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you.


	3. croissant

You know we should start someday. Never mind, we have already begun. You know in those last moments? I keep thinking the same thing, that this is probably the last time I'll ever see your face. It's true and its fiction all at the same time. I keep seeing you wherever I go, and I don't know why. You are a stranger who has always been something familiar to me, but the truth of the matter is you can't be a stranger. I won't let you be. And we're going in circles. You always tell me,  _'Don't walk away from me.'_  But all I can ever tell you is  _'I'm sorry._ ' Well, what am I sorry for? I don't understand myself anymore. (When have I ever?)

I'm going to die. And the only thing you are doing is prolonging it. But I'll remember you; I'll remember the way you cut through Salisbury steak with the same way you'd weld your tonfas and scissors. I'll remember the way you would let yourself eat in front of me, and I would always remember your big, calloused hands reaching for mine in the darkness.

I'll never forget you I say, but that's not a white lie, all lies are never that color. They are black, and I just want you to know that  _'I'm sorry'_.

I'm going to die, but you are just prolonging it.

In Tsunayoushi's dream he can't see the person he is speaking to; but there is a miasma that he cannot describe. It's cloudy and sunny. There were loud, hushed whispers that sounded desperate and urgent, except there were no people around. The whole park was empty and he was standing near a bench. The other person did not sit down either; they just stood having their hands clenched at their sides.

They just stared at each other for a while, time passed, and the other's mouth opened. Forming words. When he spoke, loud music seemed to be everywhere, a Chanson to be exact. Its accordion going full circle, a pipe wisps around, and Tsunayoushi turns to a different direction. There is light emitting next to him, and there he sees in the middle of a park—  _a Carousel_.

It's turning slowly, the music accentuating its bright lights and dramatic colors. The animals ranged from pigs, zebras, lions, mythological creatures (such as dragons, sea monsters or unicorns), and deer, to name a few. The mousy man became enraptured by it, as if he was on witchcraft. A spell was cast.

By that time, Tsunayoushi came to realize he wasn't on the ground. He was never on the ground, and he won't ever be. He's on the carousel and decided to go on the king of beasts. A lion. The other person says something and he's not paying attention. He just blinks and says "Carosello" while the other says "Carrousel", and Tsunayoushi doesn't understand why he's speaking in Italian when he knows his accent is horrid, and he wants to ask the other "Why are you speaking French?" There is the feeling of euphoria caused by the lights and the beams all going in separate directions. The Chanson continues on, making it seem as if they were experiencing the epitaph of theatrical opera. But none of those things suit them, and Tsunayoushi is smiling, he's smiling because this is the only time he had ever been truly happy.

* * *

The brown haired man wakes up, his eyes shut because of the light coming from white blinds. It's cold today; he wants to stay inside his blankets, thank you very much. Suddenly, a pair of rough hands begin to tickle his sides causing him to break out into seeps of laughter.

"Reborn! Reborn! I give! I give." The other releases him and Tsunayoushi just wipes his tears that have accumulated in the side of his eyes with a sleeve.

Reborn stood tall looking the same as always. One word to describe the man was 'perfection'. An expensive Dolce & Gabbanna suit, a Vivienne Westwood watch was on his frame speaking for him.  _'I am important; Don't fuck with me._ '

"No Good Tsuna, time for breakfast."

The man in question stood up from his bed to yawn and stretch. He lazily made his way to the bathroom near his closet to brush his teeth. Reborn just looked at him from near Tsunayoushi's mirror ( where he kept his only bottle of perfume Dino had given him for Natale three years ago).

"I left you a suit on your bed to wear. Your brother Giotto sent it to you from Italia. I don't want you looking so boorish in your...interesting choice of clothing. Honestly, you cannot go into a business meeting in a cheap suit you found in a sales rack at Family Mart." He said this in the same sort of manner he played with cats.

Tsunayoushi comes back into the room after he washed his face and took care of his personal hygiene. He began removing his shirt. "What's wrong with Family Mart?" He said this all with a toothpaste mustache.

Reborn extends his hand and rubs the foam off the other with the back of his thumb.

" Everything Tsunayoushi. Everything. Now go and make us some breakfast.  _Andiamo, Andiamo_ , I don't have all day. "

Brown eyes widened.

"But I thought you bought breakfast or something! Why do I have to do it!? "

But Tsunayoushi does not know why he complains when he knew that Reborn loved the way he made coffee.  _'It's the only thing you're good at,_ ' he would always say with a smirk.

* * *

The dream wasn't just Tsunayoushi's dream and when Kyouya awoke, he opened his eyes slowly; like it was painful or something of that sort. He looked the same as he always did. A bored expression on his face and a frown on his lips.

" Wao."

He stands up on his bed and looks in front of him. A great grandfather clock staring at him, the hands at '5:30 am'. Kyouya dislikes digital clocks. Herbivores would do anything to go about things the easy way; they lacked discipline and intelligence.  _'That's why all academic facilities do not use digital clocks'_  he thought contentedly when he relaxed in the bath.

He timed himself. He would only give himself fifteen minutes at the maximum to shampoo his hair and clean his skin. As he was doing so, he thought about the type of breakfast he would have today. You see, Kyouya had a schedule to follow. It said that every Tuesday he would have rice with fish and miso soup. He does not cook, and on his free days he checks out books from his local library to try to teach himself the art of cooking. All it resulted in were failures and it angers him to the point of biting everyone to death, even accusing the librarian of sabotaging his success _. 'You chose the wrong book for me herbivore. It's your fault. It can't be me._ '

He was already in his favorite suit, today was a bit special. Today was going to be the meeting of the Vongola corporations (it was the only day of the week they would come together to speak of the business) and since he was already admitted to their group, he had no choice but to go. It was his obligation.

When he informed his father via phone the other said, "Wonderful. It was only a matter of time before the Vongola realized how great the Cloud Company is."

And Kyouya replies in a way you would talk to a roomful of kindergartners, "You mean how great  _'I'_  am. This company has only achieved this much because of my managing and leadership while you only made it more plant eater-friendly." And with that he ended the call. After all, he already said what he wanted to say; anything else would be a waste.

He went up the entrance where he would put his shoes and opened the door with a gentle click. An old women was carrying trays of food in a bag, she smiled politely as her kimono sleeves dangled in the air.

"Good morning ,Kyouya-kun."

"Good morning, Yamazaki-san. Thank you for the food." He bowed lowly at the women as she chuckled ( it seemed a bit sad today). Senior citizens should be treated with kindness and respect. In Namimori everyone hung their heads low when they would walk by (he made sure of that).

Kyouya had met Mrs. Yamazaki in the apartment building's parking lot. It was about the second week he had moved to the city (his expectations for this place was/were zero) but when he saw her traditional food stand it reminded him of Namimori's summer festival .He saw this as some great advancement in the community and he was impressed.

"Make me food." He demanded one day. And since then she would cook him breakfast, lunch and dinner. Of course he paid her for her services and for the ingredients.

"Thank you for the repeat business son, I'm really sad that this will have to be the last day." Her voice was ancient, but there was something soothing in her voice. "You see, I am moving in with my daughter out in the country side this week. So, I wanted you to know that." Kyouya blinked in recognition and nodded. "Someone my age shouldn't be living in the city, it's too rowdy, and everyone is too busy going this and that." paused. "Everyone is going too fast. I belong in a country side, with my family. You too, you are one of the good ones. I will miss you young man."

Kyouya isn't looking at her, but he's looking at the floor. "Yes, of course. Farewell, Yamazaki-san. I send you good fortune in your new home." They shared a bow and just as she was walking away (Kyouya wanted to see her off) she turns and says, "You always reminded me of a black bird I used to have." She positions her hands to form the shape of a small ball "I tried to nurse it every day, but see, his wing was broken. But oh, he was so regal and proud, he tried to fly just like the others were, but he was just pretending."

"I can see…you have something much more heavier than a broken wing, but you.." Her voice croaked. " ...are also pretending. "

Kyouya looks at her, but does not speak. He just looks at the elder women with clear eyes.

"Humor this old women will you? From the moment I've met you I have never seen you with anyone, not even on festivities meant to spend with family. Promise me you'll look for a good wife or at least some companions? You're like a son to me." Hibari bows once more, and lifts his head up "Thank you for the concern. I will do as you suggested."

The old women smiled, and her wrinkles moved up on her face a bit more as she turned away from him. But as she walked to the elevator, Kyouya still refuses to close the door. He wanted her back view to be forever impaled to his retina, and at that moment he felt like he was truly alone.

* * *

"What kind of dreams do you dream?"

Tsunayoushi asks this while he pours the elder man some dark coffee. The aroma filled the room and made it seem like it was some sort of cafe lounge. Instead of the kitchen, Reborn demanded to eat on the Kotatsu table. His sofa was centered in the living room, courtesy of Mr. Fong ( one of Reborn's close friends) who insisted on placing certain things in corners to provide just the correct amount of Fung shui. wasn't present but he gave immediate instructions in his kind and soothing voice. ;You have so much bad energy Tsunayoushi-kun,' he always nagged.

"I don't remember my dreams." Reborn took a bite out of his cream cheese croissant. "I've told you this a million times already. Are you having those strange dreams again?"

"They never stop Reborn." Tsunayoushi says from the kitchen. He's making a lunch for that he had promised Mukurohim good thing he already had everything set since yesterday. A traditional lunch box with some fresh sushi for him and some salad and fettuccine for the other man. Mukuro wasn't too fond of Japanese food after all. "And all of them feel so nostalgic. I mean, it's crazy isn't it? To think I'm becoming so wrapped up in these little dreams." He stops in midway of finishing a roll. "It always leads me to think about death."

The room suddenly turns a bit stuffy, like there is a heavy weight around the room. It felt like a cave, and it felt like he had the air conditioner on (HIGH). The television turned on, except it was only static. Black and white static. The brown haired man slowly takes a few steps back, unsure of how to react. And he looks at Reborn , and Reborn seems to not even notice the atmosphere change.

"Then you must have some kind of death wish." The man with the onyx eyes soon becomes still and with a dazed look says-

"Just so you know I'd follow you there too."

And just like that the room turns to normal, and the unplugged television was the same as before. It felt like some sort of time skip, and he was the only one aware of what had just happened. But before he could ask Reborn what he meant to say by those things the other was already eating Tsunayoushi's portion of breakfast.

"Give that back!"

* * *

Tsunayoushi and Reborn arrive early in the Vongola corporation building, everyone bowed their heads to them in respect. Out of the pair, one was embarrassed beyond words while the other didn't even blink. The taller man pressed the elevator button that said 'up'.

"No-good Tsuna, I'll be going to get some papers, so I'll be leaving you in front of our meeting room. Stay out of trouble."

Tsunayoushi rolls his eyes in exasperation, annoyance in his features. "Hey, Reborn! I'm not five years old!"

And the other's foot hits their designated floor and says, " And that's precisely why you need to keep your guard up. I'll be back."

The walls of the corporation were stark white; it seemed like those things you would only see on television. It seemed like there were no furniture, but in reality it just blended in with the white of the walls. The doors were clear slide in doors. Tsunayoushi thought he would never be in a place like this, he thought the most expensive place he would ever get to was the fancy Italian cafe Mukuro and Chrome took him once. Or maybe it was that Armani store his brothers took him to that one time. Everything seemed so immaculate; he made sure his stubby fingers wouldn't touch a thing.

From the corner of his eyes he saw something tall and dark. He flinched in reflex and trembled like a mouse. It was Hibari Kyouya. That man that scared the soul out of him.

"G-good morning Hibari-san." The tall man glared at him, but nodded anyways. It seemed that they were the only ones who had decided to come early (the meeting was not until thirty more minutes.) Both of them stood side by side, not saying anything.

Tsunayoushi was the sort of person that could not stand still by any means. He supported himself on one foot, then when he was bored with it, he went to the other. He constantly paced back and forth too, not even noticing that he was doing it.

"Stop moving undisciplined herbivore."

"A-ah, sorry Hibari-san. I-I'm just nervous is all." The man raised his hand to begin biting his nails, until a tonfa was raised to his face.

"Continue on what I think you are going to do and you will be bitten to death." He did not care that this was his boss, Kyouya did not have one. He did not listen to anyone. ( Which is just a contradiction because what he did listen to are invisible rules.)

Not knowing what to do to calm the beast, Tsunayoushi does the only thing he could think of. Give it an offering. So he opens the small container he brought with him (his lunch) and brings it up to the others face.

' _That is very like him,_ ' thought Kyouya, but he didn't know why.

It's just a herbivore, Kyouya thinks. He shouldn't care if he ate in front of him. So he extends his hands and takes a sushi roll, he puts it in his mouth. After a few mouthwatering seconds he grabs Tsunayoushi's lunch box with a hard pull.

"Give me your lunch." He proclaims. It would be a little funny if the other was still in high school (only a little).

The mousy man's eyes widened and after some time started to laugh nervously.

"What?"

"I don't like repeating myself, herbivore." And dejectedly, Tsunayoushi sighs and gives his lunch away to the bully—his coworker. The dark man takes out a black leather wallet from his back pocket and pulls out a 2000 yen bill. This lunch box may be a little too small for his lunch, but he would manage.

" Hieeee, Hibari-san. It's alright, you can have it. I d-don't mind really..."

A sharp glare.

"Are you patronizing me?"

"N-no! I-it's fine, you can have it! I made too much anyways, haha..." He continues to laugh like a herbivore (but he doesn't really mind right now, the small lunch box in his hands).

" _Hey you_ , make me food."

Tsunayoushi gave Kyouya an incredulous look, what in the world was going on?

"That is payment for the next meals." He stops the man from speaking by talking over him. "You live in my complex building. From now on you are hired to make me breakfast, lunch and dinner. I do not like foreign food much, but I like meat. I like any traditional Japanese food. You are excused." He says without skipping a beat.

"Wait, w-what!?"

The brown haired man was about to take a few steps back until he heard someone calling for him in the distance.

"Tenth!" It was his silver haired friend, Gokudera Hayato. And right behind him was Yamamoto Takeshi. Both of them were his childhood friends, they had met during kindergarten and had been inseparable ever since. They had other friends besides their closed trio, but many stayed back home. It was only (truly) a coincidence that all of them were the inheritors of big companies. (It was all a string of fate.) Mukuro , although living in the same town as them had went to a different school. He wasn't accepted (alongside his sister) within their circle of friends until elementary school. That is a story for a different time. Back then they thought he was a devil, and yet, Gokudera still thought him to be so.

"Yo, Tsuna!" The tall, tan man put an arm over Tsunayoushi in a friendly manner. "Sorry we couldn't go to help you unpack. I was super busy with pop's restaurant and the company. I'll make it up to you bud." Gokudera crossed his arms in annoyance; he was speaking first after all.

"I-it's fine Takeshi-kun, it's fine!" The meek man turns to his short tempered friend in hopes of calming the other ." Ah , Gokudera-kun. Good morning, how are you doing today?"

It seemed that his bad mood was never even there to begin with; instead it seemed that he was smiling since he got there. "And a wonderful morning to you tenth! I'd like to ask you for forgiveness for not helping you yesterday! Mr. Reborn gave me some work to do..."

Tsunayoushi remembered the never ending stairs and his back pain a hundred fold. 'So it was all Reborn's fault!' He clenched his fist as small tears appeared at the side of his eyes.

Meahnwhile, (right by the door and next to the plant eater's side) Kyouya hated to be ignored but what he hated even more was for herbivores to crowd around him. He unleashed his tonfas quickly.

"You all must have some death wish crowding around me."

Gokudera snarled." And who the hell are you?" The smoker glares and sizes the other up, slowly.

Reborn ( who had appeared rather suddenly) walked slowly behind Tsunayoushi, and as soon as he was near the mousy man he lunged at his sides, squeezing them.

"Boo."

Tsunayoushi jumped a meter high including a very impressive back flip. Perhaps the man wasn't as herbivorous as he thought Kyouya mused

Gokudera's eyes shone in admiration (  _Tenth, that jump was brilliant!)_  and Yamamoto merely laughed (  _You're so funny Tsuna.)_

" No good Tsuna, Didn't I tell you to have your guard up?" The tall man smirked at his student who felt so humiliated. "Anyways since all of us are here why not commence the meeting?"

"Ah, isn't Lambo-kun , and big brother Ryohei going to be here? " And what about Xanxus-san, he thought to himself. He didn't really want him to be there, but he thought as vice president he should at least attend.

" Lambo and Ryohei couldn't make it today. I sent them on foreign affairs. Don't try to wrap your head on it no good Tsuna, you barely came here a few days ago. "

He began to hand out papers to everyone.

"Here are the things we will discuss at out meeting. Now, let's go in."

Reborn slides a card in front of the slide in door opening the doors for everyone. The room had a circular table, glass chairs and a couple of boards.

Right before they entered Mukuro stepped right beside Tsunayoushi ( he was the last one to proceed.) He always appeared like this, as if he materialized out of mist. It was a bit unsettling. Even though they were friends he didn't want to tell him that something inside him screamed at him not to trust him, not to pick him.

The other greeted him with a wave.

"Ah, Mukuro-san. You arrived just on time!"

"Traffic was a bit on the horrid side today." Mukuro said this with his two hands in the air with a ' what can you do about it' stance. "Ladies first," he said jokingly as he gave Tsunayoushi room to enter.

Kyouya sits in the seat away from everyone, but also close enough to generate a dominant presence. He looks around for once in boredom (since he has to associate himself with everyone from now on.) In short there was only a grinning herbivore, a loud mouth herbivore, a ' super' herbivore ; nothing but herbivores. (Except Reborn who is carnivorous as those dinosaurs he did a project on in his first grade class.  _'Namimori needs more Dinosaurs since we have to expand the community_.') He turned to the other side and that's when he froze.

He saw a foreign man with mismatched eyes; he wasn't paying attention to the other, just getting some documents ready. As if the man could tell he was being watched he turned to Kyouya, recognition in his eyes. Mukuro gave the other a furious smirk (it was hate, hate, hate) and just as Tsunayoushi was going to stand up to give a mediocre speech— the two lunged at each other. They greeted one another with punches, kicks, and— where the hell did Mukuro take that pocket knife from? Where did Hibari get his tonfa's out?— but they both fought unmercifully and in the process breaking the desk, chairs and just about anything that came between them.

Gokudera was about ready to do something about it, and Yamamoto was laughing it off .  _'They just have too much testosterone or something'_ and the one that no one expected to do anything about the situation (Tsunayoushi) walked in between them and said

" _ **Stop it!"**_

And the both of them stood still because when Tsunayoushi said that, they heard it more loudly than anyone in the room had. It was like a very loud echo without end.

* * *

When Reborn emerged from the meeting room he had a furious look on his face, and when people asked him  _'How was the meeting?_ ' He responded with '  _What meeting?_ '

* * *


	4. Caffe

There is a man sitting right in front of me in a crowded cafe. We are in our usual spot that has become to be known as ' _our spot'_  when me and him first found it on a random walk. The spot is near that water fountain he likes to throw coins in. And every time I would joke about taking some of them for myself, he would always turn to me and say,  _"Don't do that! You will be taking all the other people's wishes!"_

He does not know it but when he turns I take quick sketches of his profile. He always liked to wear tweed and patterns and stripes that made him look taller, his fashion and style always made him appear like those small English boys from the 1800's or maybe the Rococo period. Other days he would wear street fashion, the usual hoodie, some sneakers. It was all too comfortable, but he looked like a mess, his clothes wrinkled and un-ironed.

He does not know this, but I've always had this fascination in my desire to paint him. Truth be told, I have never asked him to pose for me but even so, I'm sure that if I'd ask him to, he'd agree.

I know him to be the sort of person that when you ask something of him, he'll give it to you a hundred times over.

I don't want to ask him for anything. I want to take it away from him. And I don't really know why.

We are friends, but a part of me wants to hurt him.

* * *

"So, explain to me again why you suddenly began to attack Hibari-san?" He seems a bit flustered, shy and fiddled with the napkin laid out in front of him. A teacup by his side.

Mukuro knows that it doesn't take a lot to embarrass Tsunayoushi, so he abuses this habit of the man fully.

"I have explained this so many times Tsunayoushi," The Italian lifted his gloved hands and laid them out showing his palms. "My hands and feet moved on their own. The moment that...eyesore stepped into the room I just had to do everyone a favor and get rid of that inconsistency."

The furniture and chairs were of white colored grove, a large faux tree in the middle of the room; it extended its branches all towards the rest of the cafe. The rest of the customers dined peacefully as well, they were all a good deal apart as to give everyone privacy. Tsunayoushi loved it here, he had told Mukuro that it reminded him of the Gardens of the Hibari family back in Namimori. They were only open to the public every so often, but it left a four year old Tsunayoushi mesmerized.

Mukuro smirked when he saw the other man flinch at his harsh words, he always did this, he was too soft. He liked that about him, yet, it irritated him to no end.

"... Did the both of you meet any time prior?" The brown haired man inquired as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

An exasperated sigh filled the air.

"Not at all." Mukuro's sharp features twisted. His mouth in a flat line. "And why are you only interrogating me? I wasn't the only one destroying furniture."

A hand slammed the table dramatically.

"Because Hibari-san scares me!" The truth can be quite pathetic.

Raised eyebrows yet amused hetero-chromatic eyes glistened when the light hit them.

"And I don't?"

The other ignores his question and starts to devour a piece of bread from his silverware. Unaware, yet wary on the pair of eyes focused on him.

" Tsunayoushi do you still have Nuts?"

The brown haired man stops in the middle of chews to stare at the other.

"Yes, he's with Enma-kun at the moment. I told him to take care of him when I left for the city." A pause. "But I thought I already told you this...about my cat and all."

"I'm aware of that." Mukuro dabs the corners of his mouth in swift elegance. "I was just asking if you still had him, meaning to say if he's still alive."

The other puffed his cheeks up, like a chipmunk. "Of course he is! Why wouldn't he be? Enma-kun is a great cat-sitter! He's responsible and trustworthy!"

_You love that damn cat more than you -_

The two of them continue to talk about nothing, finishing their lunch in laughter, but Tsunayoushi although unaware of what was going on in the other's head, could feel a small force pressuring his sides. He always felt like this with Mukuro. He always felt sick. But even so he adored his company.

The both of them walked side by side through small shops to arrive to the Vongola headquarters, it was only about a thirteen minute walk, and in that time they had more opportunities to chat and gossip about many things. One popular choice of topic was art and dreams. Although Tsunayoushi did not understand art very much or draw, god forbid he loved to admire them. In contrast to Mukuro who was an artist who had his art on display many occasions. When they would finish that conversation they would jump to dreams. (It always finished with that). Which was basically just Tsunayoushi elaborating on his 'nightly terrors' as he put it.

* * *

Tsunayoushi is impossible to draw. Whenever I get my paint sets ready I grab a brush and start off, I can draw his whole structure, his body, the way his hand positions itself when he reaches for a cup of coffee, the way his neck tightens when he is nervous, but when I get to his countenance, I cannot lift a single finger. Everything I try results in failure. I can never draw his face.

So Tsunayoushi goes on without a care in the world. He does not know that I dream as well. I have seen him die in all of them, my hand reaching and pleading for him not to go, another one where I hurt him physically, fire all around us; I'm always trapped in my dreams. In a coffin, or in a tube, a specimen, living but not actually living. Just there. He doesn't know that when I asked about Nuts I was trying to hide the eagerness in my voice, I was hoping that animal would just die already and he does not know that I am infatuated with him to the point where I have sketchbooks dedicated to drawing him. But as they say, ignorance is bliss.

* * *

These are the thoughts Mukuro preoccupied himself with as they crossed the streets.

* * *

When Mukuro and Tsunayoushi arrived at the front of the Vongola building, the first who greeted them were Yamamoto and Gokudera. The silver haired man's face brightened considerably while the taller's eyes crinkled into his signature smile.

"Yo, Tsuna! Lunch isn't over yet there's like, " Yamamoto checks his digital clock and rolls his sleeves off his wrist " Fifteen minutes left."

Mukuro chuckled.

"He arrived early because I had some paperwork to do." He eyed Gokudera who glared intensely at the other, as if doing so Mukuro would explode into small pieces. They switched to Italian. " _Hello dog, I have brought your master back."_  The hetero-chromatic man mocked him while he curtsied, showing of Tsunayoushi beside him.

But before the other could even retaliate he had vanished like he was never there, like the mist.

Yamamoto seemed puzzled for a moment, but then proceeded to laugh like it was a light joke. " Ha, how did he go to the elevator so fast? He always does that."

"I tell you," Gokudera began ferociously. "He's doing witchcraft, you never believe me! I have proof! He killed animals and sacrificed them! You believe me, right Tenth?"

But Tsunayoushi continued to smile pleasantly ignoring the question on purpose. He turned to Yamamoto before the other would go on and recite an incredible in-depth essay on 'Why Mukuro is an eyesore.'

"How is your father doing?"

"Aww, Pops is ok. I mean he gave me a scare and everything when he fainted. But he's doing good. You know my Pops, he's the strongest guy I know!"

Gokudera's face was plain, showing no traces of anger (which meant to say he was interested in what the other had to say).

"Yes, I know. I wish for him to be healthy in the future."

Yamamoto smiled warmly at him and snapped his fingers, he had always done that. Snap his fingers when he had wanted to change the topic.

"Guess what I bought yesterday, guys? I was on Amazon the other day and bought an American television show that used to come out when we were kids. Do you guys remember it? It was called, "He switched to his English, it only had a hint of a slight accent." Tales From The Crypt."

Gokudera and Tsunayoushi both smiled in recognition, looking at each other, trying hard not to laugh.( It was a working office, you know?)

"Ahhhhh, " Tsunayoushi began. " Didn't we call the crypt-keeper Gokudera's boyfriend?"

"T-tenth! That's so embarrassing! I remember," Gokudera began to fiddle with the bottom of his fingers, and Tsunayoushi and Yamamoto both knew that he was playing a piano piece in his head. It made him think better, is what he had told them. "—We watched a marathon of it when we were sleeping over your house Tenth, it was that time that stupid pony came into your room picking a fight."

"I thought he was just coming in to say 'hello'." Yamamoto crossed both arms over his chest and looked knowingly at the silver haired man. "You had gotten mad at Dino-san because he accidentally stepped over our science project."

"That bastard!" Gokudera clenched a fist in the air while Tsunayoushi just smiled weakly.

"Anyway, we were watching it, and that was the first time I had ever seen an alien at the window."

"Gokudera-kun, it might have been a trick of the light, or maybe we were watching too much episodes that you just hallucinated?"

Yamamoto knew this would go nowhere, so he interjected again by snapping his fingers. "Well, I wanted to invite you guys over so we can all watch it together. A guy's night out!"

Before Gokudera could comment over how stupid and pathetic that sounded, Tsunayoushi took a few steps forward and spoke excitedly.

"For sure! We haven't been together for so long; all of us have been so busy so it's a great idea!" Perhaps the reason he kept having these headaches and hallucinations were because he needed to go out some more.

"Well, if you want to go tenth..."

"Alright! Then it's settled, on Friday I'll pick you guys up at Tsuna's apartment."

And there was the first phase of Yamamoto's plan.

* * *

It was at a quarter to two when Tsunayoushi's cell phone rang. He mumbled in his sleep, contorting his face in discomfort at being awoken in the middle of the night. It could only be one person who would do this to him.

"Reborrnnnnnn." He moaned. "What do you want?"

On the other end of his new, expensive, Docomo phone (courtesy of the Vongola demons), Tsunayoushi could hear loud music and laughter. Perhaps the other was at a night club or something rather.

"Hmph." The deep baritone of the other man drawled in displeasure. He seemed to be drinking water, as he kept pausing at certain moments (or perhaps he couldn't stand talking over the music). "How rude No good Tsuna.  _Ad ogni modo , che ore sono_? "

" _What time is it?_  You called me just to ask me the  _time!_  Can't you use your Dolce and Gabanna wristwatch you always wear? How about your state of the art I-phone?"

The half asleep man could just feel the smirk on the other's face.

"Il _tempo ragazzo stupido._  (The time stupid boy.)"

"Fine, it's 1: 46 right now."

A hum of approval.

"What are you doing?" Reborn said this as if he were inspecting his nails for dirt, which—in fact, he  _was_.

"Sleeping, what else?" A sigh could be heard on the receiver.

"How dull, I was expecting you to do something exciting today. But then again you are and always will be my No Good Tsuna. Only talent in life is to cook."

Tsunayoushi felt a migraine coming up so he quickly changed the conversation.

"Never mind me, and how about you?"

"I'm just here at a nightclub with some clients; I already got them to sign what I wanted."

_It's just business with him isn't it?_   _Well that's Reborn for you._  Tsunayoushi smiled as he dug himself under the covers. He stretched as he spoke.

"Anyways, I'll be there in at least thirty minutes. I'm sleeping over."

And that was how strong Reborn's personality is. When he wanted something he always said it, no matter how blunt it may be, and it always got done.

"Well," The other began. "I have a couch available." Insinuating he didn't want to share the bed, insinuating '  _You will sleep on the couch because you always hit me and take all the covers.'_

"Great, you have something to sleep on."

And with that the call was disconnected.

_"Wait Reborn!"_

* * *

"Make me some Caffè ."

Those were the first words to come out of Reborn's mouth as he stepped into the living room, taking off his coat and handing it towards Tsunayoushi who just sighed.

How did he know he was going to say that?

"No Reborn, it's late and you won't be able to sleep." Tsunayoushi says this as he places the dark jacket on the coat hanger. But the other continued as if he had never said anything.

"Make me a Marocchino with some wine it."

"I can't make you that, but I can make you some Camomilla Te' , its already done brewing anyways." The brown haired man paused as he noticed the other eying him curiously. "What is it?"

Reborn places his hand on the kitchen counter and places a hand under his chin, observing Tsunayoushi who had already began covering the tea with light whip cream and sprinkling a dash of cinnamon.

"I hardly ever hear you speak in Italian is all."

"Well  _you_ ," The young man handed the elder his drink. " Mukuro, Collonello-san and big brother Giotto and Dino always speak it so often . It's bound to stick. Besides, why do you always ask me for food and beverages! Sometimes I don't even know what you ask for and I have to resort to cook books and all that."

Reborn places his fedora in the space between them.

"Whatever you make is delicious. I can't put my finger on it but coffee doesn't taste the same if it isn't yours." He added as an afterthought, "It disgusts me."

And the bashful man didn't know what to say, but then again in the twenty two years of his life he had never known exactly what to say.

* * *

When their midnight snack finished and the dishes were all washed , there was only one thing left to do. Discuss sleeping arrangements. Both of the men were in the main bedroom, sitting at the side of the bed shoulder to shoulder.

"Why not sleep together?" Reborn suggested, as if it wasn't strange. "When you were smaller you wanted to do everything together, sleep, bathe, defecate—"

"I'm not a little kid anymore, Reborn!"

"And that's precisely why you should crawl into bed with me."

" _What?"_  Tsunayoushi blinked.

" _What?"_  The other mimicked as he through a pillow at the younger one's face.

In the end, they decided to sleep together anyways. So why all the fuss?

"Make some room." Tsunayoushi groaned. "You're hogging all the space."

"I am not, you are just overweight."

A yawn was heard as they both tried to get comfortable and Reborn while tossing and turning decided that he will purchase a King size bed for his no good Tsuna. Honestly, has he ever been capable of ever taking care of himself? His thoughts were interrupted as, ( speak of the devil) his sleeping partner decided to speak up.

"Gahh, the last thing I wanted to watch right before I go to sleep was a creepy science documentary about Schrödinger's cat."

Reborn shifted in bed so he could see Tsunayoushi's face. The brown haired male's eyes were closed and already in sleeping position with his blankets, yet he still spoke.

"It was something about parallel universes and quantum physics...universal wave function..."

His soft voice echoed throughout the room.

"Why were you watching that? You wouldn't understand it anyway."

"I decided to watch television for a bit while I awaited your arrival. I couldn't find the remote since I hardly use it. So it stayed there…" He went on and yawned again, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Next they were going to talk about the end of existence and theories, scary isn't it?"

"Hardly. Do you believe any of that?"

"No, not really... I always really believed...well, I don't know what I believe in." Tsunayoushi paused and stared blankly at the other.

"Hm."

"What about you Reborn?"

"I don't believe in the end of the world. I believe that in each of our lifetimes, at some point in the future, the world will reset or regenerate and we will simply start over in an endless cycle whether we realize it or not."

Reborn's eyes seemed pitch black, a comforting stone, and they both stared at each other for some time, as if searching for something they wanted to keep. Both of their noses were touching, Tsunayoushi didn't know when the elder had gotten so close to him, and he didn't push him away either.

_It was happening again, this time skip, Time stop, whatever this is. This strange world, it's happening again_.  _Everything seems like static, and I can't hear correctly._

Then everything went back to normal when Reborn's facial expression changed.

" _Just kidding."_

And so they both went to sleep.

* * *

In the morning the sunlight gave Tsunayoushi's bedroom an ethereal light. Reborn merely blinked and continued to stare at the wall above him. He started to remember when he was a small boy in Italy, except he really wasn't a child. He had never been, before he knew who his parents were he killed, and before he knew how to kill he knew how to lie.

"Tsunayoushi, what did you dream about today?"

But before all those things he knew how to dream.

"Dead birds."

* * *

Right after Tsunayoushi handed Kyouya's breakfast, the three ( Reborn, Hibari and including himself ) dashed to the elevator. It was going to be down for maintenance in around three minutes, so they wanted to leave early.

The three men slipped onto the elevator, quietly and without fuss. Reborn was where all the buttons and destinations were, his arms crossed and eyes closed, his weight being supported by the wall. Next to him was good old Tsunayoushi, a thoughtful face with his arms laced together staring intently at the elevator doors. And Kyouya? Kyouya was on the side of them, a good deal away from them, well as much space as an elevator could provide. He had his arms at his sides, one carrying his black suitcase while the other hand was clenched.

Right before Tsunayoushi's eyes, the elevator dimmed to a low rose colored glass, ( which Tsunayouyshi wondered why because it was only supposed to happens when you're in love, his mother had told him so) and he turned to both Reborn and Hibari, because he's scared and frightened and he's wondering if they can see it too. But both of them had their eyes open staring at thin air, but their stares were serious and urgent, very loud stares. It reminded Tsunayoushi of dead fish eyes and how when he was only two years old his father forced him to eat it.

He cried at that time.

A low humming sound was suddenly heard; a bass, dark and full of ambient. His heart accelerated and he could hear his name  _'Tsunayoushi, Tsunayoushi, Tsunayoushi'._

In these moments, when no light would come to him and where time would stop, he felt like he wasn't born. Not yet. He was still stuck in a womb.

' _Tsunayoushi Tsunayoushi'._

_Remember that one day you will die. Remember the moment of your death. Remember you must die_

His head started to spin.

**Who? What? Where? When? Why?**

_memento mori memento mori memento mori memento mori memento mori memento mor-_

And with that he collapsed to his knees, curling up in a little ball with his arms over his head— _and began to_ _ **scream.**_

It was a blood curdling scream that seemed to break off the illusion, or perhaps sent him ' _back'_  .Where he was, he had no idea, and where he was sent  **'back'**  to he understood that less. Urgent, desperate, in pain. It was only a second but, out of nowhere, he sees familiar faces staring above him, and strangers looking at him in worry. Reborn was already at his side, his arms around him in a worried embrace.

A crowd had formed around the elevator the moment Tsunayoushi had fainted. Reborn shook him lightly, while Kyouya stood in the same spot in the elevator overlooking the scene.

And Kyouya could only stare curiously at him. The herbivore who was in the other carnivore's clutches and he couldn't help but think ' _I don't like it.'_

" Tsunayoushi, Tsunayoushi. What's the matter? What's going on? "'Chaos' _,_  Reborn thought.

And Tsunayoushi turned his face slowly, delicately, with wide eyes. They were nothing but stilts, and yet that was the only thing he could do as he looked at the other's face and barely answered above a whisper—

_"I'm losing my mind."_

* * *

Reborn carried Tsunayoushi much like a groom would carry his bride back to the apartment. They ignored the stares from others, they ignored their help.

"You are taking a day off from work. You are in no condition to go. You have a fever."

When the other one protested, Reborn merely shut him up with a glance and spoke.

"I'm ordering you."

So Tsunayoushi stayed in his apartment, covered in blankets courtesy of Reborn, all the while shaking because it didn't matter. It didn't matter because he was still cold.

"Reborn, you should go to work, I'll be fine here. I'm making curry today anyway, I'll be busy. It'll be fine. Please don't worry about me.

But the other wouldn't budge, so in the end, neither went to work ( Reborn instead listened to his favorite records all day )and while Tsunayoushi slept he kept hearing an orchestra, a women's light voice as she hit all the notes. The musical score of his life and memory hit him like a rock. Because whenever Reborn put on records it made him think about his childhood, the good things and mostly those big, small, painful things that hurt his heart like needles.

And when Kyouya was left alone in the elevator he didn't understand why, but he opened his mouth and said—

" _That was my_ _ **right.**_ _"_

* * *

Kyouya does not want to be in the Herbivore's house, but he was sent there by Reborn for business (besides that he had to pick up his dinner). When he had arrived, Reborn had taken off to the corner store for some wine and ingredients. He would never admit that he was thinking about Tsunayoushi seventeen percent of the time. All in all, he still couldn't understand the relationship the carnivore and the herbivore had with one another. Because, obviously, usually the Carnivore would have already eaten the other whole.

"Who is he?"

Tsunayoushi lifts his head up in between a chop of the onion and answers the best way he can describe the man.

"He's Reborn, haha."

But the other man wouldn't let it go and he continued to push; he takes two steps forward pressing onto the situation more, showing how much he wanted to know ( how important it was to him.)

"Who is he to you?" It was more like an interrogation than a conversation and Tsunayoushi is a bit nervous. Hibari's breath could be felt on his neck and he was more than just a little uncomfortable.

"Someone important." He says curtly and quietly. Silence followed, and his arms began to sweat. He knew it was a disgusting habit, but he couldn't help it. Mr. Fong had told him, that when he would sweat like this to eat an orange. He had no idea what it would do, but he did it anyways.

"You always make the pickled vegetables a bit too salty."

That statement was recited one too many times by his mother, and only she could tell because everyone else ate it blissfully, so he turned and gave Kyouya a curious expression.

"How would you know that?"

And Kyouya told him the truth.

_"I don't know_."

* * *

When the curry was done, Tsunayoushi took out around seven plates. He served rice generously, as well as curry sauce with pickled vegetables. He had to make sure they were in extremely big portions since everyone he knew was a heavy eater. Reborn had told him to make enough since he was headed toward his own apartment that night. He offered to drop the meals off to the others.

_'Let's see',_  he said to himself.'  _One for Fong-san , one for Collonello-san, one for big brother Giotto and Dino, Reborn ,Luce-san, and ...I should just add rice for Lal-san since she doesn't like Curry, but she does like vegetables. Wait, I'll call Reborn if Verde-san is there as well, he'll probably throw a fit if I give Verde-san any..'_

He sauntered his way to the living room to grab his cellphone when he noticed a small black notebook on the ground, it seemed out of place and only a few feet away from a suitcase. Perhaps it was Reborn's? Tsunayoushi wasn't one to nose around through someone's possessions, but a few scraps of paper were on the ground and he was merely placing them back. In doing so, his eyes were compelled to read the first few letters, but when he did, he couldn't help but continue to do so.

_'I keep seeing that herbivore in my dreams, and he's always in a coffin. White flowers surround him, and I can't take a step forward. There are others alongside the graveyard, and I look at the coffin but I don't remember feeling anything, not even contempt. This isn't the first time I dream of this; it's my sixteenth time this week-'_

Tsunayoushi closed it quickly, because when he had read it he had begun to hyperventilate. Something was coming close; he felt an energy being emitted as he gasped for air.

" **Don't touch that."**

Kyouya stood tall at the end of the hallway coming out of the bathroom, his eyes nothing but bloody murder. And to the mousy man, everything came into place. This book was in Kyouya's suitcase,  _not_  Reborn's. This was  **Kyouya's notebook** , in which he wrote his dreams. As he put two and two together he knew the best choice of action was to apologize profusely for invading the other's privacy, but instead of that he said-

"You record your dreams?"

No response.

"I thought I was the only one I knew who did that...perhaps... your dreams aren't as strange as mine...but I know…it must have bothered you so much that you had to let them out somewhere."

When someone insinuates that Hibari Kyouya has some sort of weakness, or something other than that cold face he always wore, he tore them apart.

"Stay silent, herbivore. It's pointless talking about this. It's pointless being here and it's pointless talking to you."

And with that he turned around, but he didn't expect a hand to reach his shoulder. The physical contact was enough to stop him, to make him listen. And in the long run, after what he was about to hear would make him re-evaluate Tsunayoushi's character. Kyouya would learn that at certain points in Tsunayoushi's life the man would have small moments of courage that would make him appear to be above even a carnivore. Not only did that intrigue Hibari but that also confused him. He didn't know what to think or what to say when the other was near.

"Pointless things have a place too and even if you have an imperfect life it would be absolutely nothing without the small things."

He had never seen anything so strange. A frail small thing staring defiantly at him. Baring his small teeth at him, the predator. Just what was this person thinking?

"That dream, about me being in a coffin...I had it too."

This garnered Hibari's attention, he didn't take his eyes off the other.

"I saw you there too, you just looked at me while some of the people in there cried...and I wasn't scared… I didn't feel scared because for some reason, I felt content. And all I kept thinking about was how much I trusted you."

The room became still again, trumpets sounded off, the feathers came back again, except they were black, and surprisingly it started to rain inside. A loud downpour hit them both.

"Do you see it?" Tsunayoushi was on the verge of tears. "Tell me I'm not crazy! I'm getting drenched, and you—"

"I feel it. I can see it is raining Tsunayoushi, I can see that the television turned on and I can see it's static."

That's the first time you have every called me by my name.

"I could also see the strange color you saw in the morning, I could hear the humming in the elevator this morning. I know what frightened you. "

The both of them stared at each other as the rain engulfed them, the curry, the mixes and spices. And right before the water had reached to the ceiling (It was strange because they could breathe underwater) Tsunayoushi moves his lips and extends his hand to the other.

" _Me and you_ —" Tsunayoushi said softly, "— _are intertwined together_."

Hibari feels compelled to do this. Right then he had no self control, so he takes the others hand.

"Let's find out what's going on. Let's find out the difference between dreams and reality."

Hibari could only nod as the papers and his suitcase started to swim around them, but after some time, he blinked and everything reverted back to normal. Everything was in its place, nothing was damp or wet, leaving no traces of the impossible.

The only thing that remained was the both of them and their hands connected.

And an alliance was born. But what the both of them were expecting wasn't what they received, and what they received was something bigger than the both of them. And in the end, it wouldn't matter because fate was laughing at them.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you.


	5. h'orderves

On a Wednesday afternoon, when the children are playing in the streets is when Tsunayoushi found a pet shop. It was a secluded place, away from any major sights and streets, there was only a small bookstore to keep it company .

He, along with Yamamoto and Gokudera were scouting the downtown area for interesting shops and cafes. That, and all of them were searching for birthday gifts for his big brother Dino. They thought of giving him odd nick-knacks since they knew him to be quite childish and a lover of the eccentric . He liked pogs and marbles that glistened in the sun when you looked at them, that , and he had a collection of old comics stacked high in his closet.

When they were much younger, Dino had always joked that when he would die, he'd give his collection to the youngest . And of course Tsunayoushi knew that in his dreams that wasn't the case, that he would always die first. So he told his brother so, and Dino's face turned dark and he said almost crying and pleading,-

" Don't say that! Don't ever say that!"

Tsunayoushi sighed as he stepped into the shop ( Gokudera held open the door for him). He had been looking all day for a present, and he was the only one who hadn't purchased anything. He did find some things his brother would like ( nice rimmed glasses , eve though he had a 20/20 vision, books about magic) but something inside him told him 'no'. That that wasn't it. It has to be some thing else. And that something else hadn't been found yet.

" Gokudera do you think that they'll sell the Lochness Monster in here?" Yamamoto's eyes twinkled in mischief and Tsunayoushi was glad he had a friend like that.

The silver haired man looked at the taller with superiority, lifting his nose as he did so.

" Lochness Monster?" Gokudera crossed his arms. " The hell would they have one here? Are you stupid? That thing is hiding underneath the surface. Under a big lake. "

That's Gokudera for you, thought Tsunayoushi fondly, he always believes in the impossible and strange. I guess, that's why he has so much faith in me.

"Oh yeah?" Yamamoto grinned. " Why doesn't it want to come out?"

The other began to explain as if the other was a gradeschooler.

" Obviously because the humans would just want to exploit it." Gokudera crossed his arms and nodded in approval. " Nessy is cool for standing up to it's beliefs and for not being a sell out. I mean even if a group of people tried to push me to do something I didn't want to do, I wouldn't fall for it even if they made me feel guilty !"

Tsunayoushi stopped looking at the pet food, and staid still for a while.

" If you always just do what others want you're nothing but a small toy going in full circle . They are the ones pulling your strings. Like a marionette. Where is your free will? "

And Tsunayoushi wanted to turn and yell ' But. What. If. I. Can't. Help. It?'

" Haha, Gokudera you're funny!" Yamamoto walked in between his two friends. " Maybe instead of a Lochness Monster, we can get Dino a dinosaur. Get it?" He began to laugh. " Dino as in the English word for dinosaur?" Gokudera rolled his eyes. " Ha! We can get him a green one with red spikes or something. What do you think Tsuna?" The tall man asked the shorter, so he shifted his body to the right. Except Tsunayoushi wasn't there anymore.

"Tsuna?" He called out again, and he looked at Gokudera, who's face was the same as his. Worried and urgent.

The fear started to step in. Reborn had told the two to watch him.

" Tsuna!" Yamamoto called out again, scaring the customers, he walked around the area with the silver haired man in a frenzy.

"Tenth!" Gokudera shouted and sprinted into the direction his eyes were on, and the other soon followed.

They found Tsunayoushi to be near the back of the store, his hand pressed on the tank that had turtles. But there was something strange about it. The turtles were behaving strangely, trying to jump out the water ( it looked like they were trying to touch the other.) There was one turtle that had separated from the rest, who only lightly tapped at the glass, opening it's mouth slowly and cautiously.

Frightened for his Tenth's health, Gokudera stepped in and grabbed Tsunayoushi from behind , the others back on his chest.

"T-tenth," Gokudera began as if nothing had happened, as if he wasn't scared to death he'd leave them. " Even the turtle likes you!"

But the other didn't even look like he was listening to the other.

" That's it " Tsunayoushi whispered. " That's it!" He said louder. " It has to be this turtle." He pointed to the one tapping. " I'll give this turtle to my big brother Dino."

" You should give him a name," Yamamoto suggested.

" Hmmm..."

There was a slight buzz from the light on the tanks, the fish swam around them and a minute passed.

Tsunayoushi lifted a finger to the ceiling.

"Enzo." He said easily. " Enzo is his name!"

I'll go get a worker to attend us Tenth, " The silver haired man offered. He scurried off sharing a meaningful look toward the taller of the trio, one that said ' Take care of him when I'm gone. I'll be right back. '

Yamamoto nodded, and once the other was out of his sight he turned to face the brown haired man. He was tapping on the tank and talking to the turtles ( who just seemed to bask in his attention). A sigh escaped him.

" What's wrong Tsuna?" Yamamoto began walking to the tank as well. " You've been sighing all morning." The shorter smiled warily. " Remember what my pops always told us. That if you sigh a ghost will come and take your soul away." Yamamoto laughed , to Tsunayoushi his laughs always sounded like rain, the sort of rain you get when you're looking outside from a window, when you see umbrellas of different color and the droplets of water on the sides.

You just feel at home.

Tsunayoushi smiled, because when Yamamoto laughed, and when Gokudera became hot and angry at the smallest things all his problems seemed to go away, even for just a little bit.

" You always make people feel nice."

And Yamamoto grinned , sheepishly and said " You do that too. " He did? " You give people the feeling of wanting to protect you. You give people the strength to go on. You give people a reason to live. " He paused. " How should I put it..." And Tsunayoushi frowned because this didn't seem like the usual Yamamoto , for this one was frowning and serious ( yet it was also him, since this Yamamoto appeared only at certain points in his life.)

" You taught me the opposite of disappearing."

The low murmuring could be heard again ( the same from the elevator) , the fish escaped from their designated tanks and swam fully and in between them. The Jellyfish emitted a light blue glow and began to come together, forming electrical currents that did no harm. The Sting Ray was also out and about, on the prowl attempting to eat the much smaller Guppy fish. Koi fish swam around their bodies in full circle, the anemone blooming in their hair.

And just like that, when Yamamoto placed an arm over Tsunayoushi's shoulder everything went back into place. Like nothing had happened.

" Come on Tsuna," The taller grinned. " I want to see some of the other pets they have."

And the both walked up the stairs leaving behind the ocean in the petshop's first floor.

* * *

When Tsunayoushi finished paying for Enzo he looked at the shop keeper one more time and said -

" Excuse me, how much for that canary by the windowsill? In the white cage?"

* * *

Kyouya was in the herbivore's apartment again. It was decorated in a very traditional manner. Hydrangea in a vase lighting up the living room most elegantly. Lighter blues to deeper purples.

Since the last time he came here, he had become more acquainted with the other. Now that they both knew about each others dreams and hallucinations both of them took time off their schedules to meet every day. Hoping to become closer to the truth. How are we connected? What is the similarity between our dreams? What does this all mean? For every 'what' there was a 'why'. And for every 'why' there was a 'when'. Questions became answers and the answers became questions.

"Before we start," The brown haired man began to fidget " I'd like to give something to you." He walked out the living room to bring out an object draped over a white cloth. Kyouya was sitting underneath the Kotatsu table, eyes narrowed in curiosity. Tsunayoushi tore the cloth off, revealing a small yellow canary who chirped loudly and haughtily.

The only sound that could be heard was loud chirping and the sound of feathers being flapped inside the cage. The sunset was draping the living room slowly and carefully.

Kyouya blinked.

"What is this." It is not a question, more like a statement, a reassurance that this was real and not an illusion.

The mousy man spoke delicately, "It's a canary..." And began to smile nervously, thinking this was just all a mistake, and, oh god what have I done.

Kyouya looked at the bird and then at Tsunayoushi ( he seemed bored) but to people who've been around him long enough, they would notice the interest in his eyes. He loved small animals, but most of all birds. The structure of the bones on their wings, their small eyes, he admired everything about them. Since a small child he collected grand encyclopedias on birds from around the world, and even joined many birdwatching clubs ( that he soon became the president of). He liked them because as a child, he imagined breaking the window to his room . Stretching his arms and flying away. He tried to once, and, well let's just say it didn't go very well. He never tried to fly again.

" I am aware it is a canary, herbivore." Kyouya reached for the tea at his side. " Why give this to me?" He patted the cage lightly, the bird staring at him boldly. " I have never expressed a desire for a bird much less from you."

Tsunayoushi was about to speak, but he just stared as the dark haired man opened the cage of the canary, and letting the small bird perch on one of his fingers. They looked so good together.

"I don't really understand this myself.." He spoke truthfully. "But when I just saw him at a pet shop, he just seemed to call out to me ' Take me to Hibari-san.' ."

Kyouya did not look at the other, just merely raised the bird further up in the air.

" A-and I don't meant the bird spoke! I-I -I meant metaphorically , and well, oh Hibari-san you should have been there. He just chirped so loudly, like a fireman truck and did not stop until I purchased him!"

Chirping could be heard in agreement. And finally -

"Would you take him?"

Kyouya became still, and after what seemed like deep thought placed the bird back in it's cage, locking the handle.

"I am not a herbivore, everyone knows that one must accept gifts even if one does not like it." Kyouya placed the birdcage at his side. " It is common courtesy."

Dejectedly, yet at the same time happy Tsunayoushi murmured. "Ah, so you don't like it."

Kyouya looked at the others eyes.

"I never said that."

* * *

" Have you ever cried in a dream and then you wake up feeling like you've just cried but your eyes are dry?"

Tsunayoushi says this when he places the rice omelet in front of Hibari, taking a seat across from him.

"Thanks for the food." They chorused and began to dine, Hibari's utensils cut through the egg carefully.

" No, I do not cry. Dreaming or awake . Crying is for women, children and herbivores."

Tsunayoushi drank some water, and couldn't help but think ' That is a very childish answer.'

" I keep having dreams when I wake up like that, but mostly those dreams occur when I dream of my hometown. Namimori."

The clinking of a knife stopped.

"I lived in Namimori." When Kyouya said this, he paused and then continued to eat. As if it didn't make him happy that he was talking about Namimori. He was supposed to hate conversing ( but not with him).

"Namimori?" This sent the herbivore's meek personality away, leaving nothing but an ecstatic person, invigorated with energy.

"I love Namimori!" When Tsunayoushi said this the whole room lighted up, and Hibari couldn't help but stare in awe. The herbivore had become so caught up in his speech he was carelessly applying too much ketchup on his omelet. " The place is so clean and friendly, I could walk out at night to the corner store for snacks without being worried about being robbed! Everyday was filled with adventure!"

Kyouya nodded in agreement, his chest swelling with pride. Then why are you here? A voice asked him.

" I loved it there."

" Why don't you go back?" Its a questions he's asked himself so many times, but now, he wanted to see what the other would say, what were his reasons. Kyouya tried to keep the interest out of his voice.

When he had said that, Tsunayoushi returned back to the miserable herbivore he had always been. He noticed , due to his excitement the river of ketchup on his plate. It was spilling over, and Kyouya blinked, because it was happening again. That same time skip,the static, Tsunayoushi had two cups at both his sides, and both were overflowing. The water covered the whole table, the omelets , leaving it to drip on the floor. He carried a flashlight underneath his face, illuminating in the darkness. When had it turned dark?

" Because I felt that I needed to come here." His lips moved, his eyes were half lidded. " But above all, I have my obligations to fulfill. I'm just not sure what they are yet . "

Kyouya nodded to himself on the answer given , because it was about the same for him.

When the man with the red tie blinked, the normal herbivore came back and he was attempting to clean some of the ketchup off the table.

"I remember," Tsunayoushi began " There was a small festival at the Hibari Esate..." Recognition flashed his eyes. "Ahh- I'm sure, since you are Hibari-san then, it was probably your family's gardens?"

"Correct." He remembered how he never took part in the festivals because they forbade him him from playing with commoners. And besides he never had time to actually be a child , he had no childhood. Since his education was more important than creating bonds and friendship, more important than eating a meal as a family.

He remembered one certain festival where he felt incredibly lonely and unwanted ( and now he bites himself to death for behaving so childishly) so he sulked by himself near the estate walls.

" I think I was six about that time." Tsunayoushi tapped his head in thought. " I had gone with two of my friends Yamamoto and Gokudera, along with my two elder brothers named Dino and Giotto. My father had dropped us off at the side of the rode since he had work." He bit into his meal. " We had a great time at the festival, and my eldest brother Giotto had won me a red ball at the goldfish stand. I began to play with it and it landed somewhere along the gardens. I went to the gardens to look for it ," Tsunayoushi paused. " And it wasn't there, but there was such a beautiful garden. It had Cherry Blossoms, Hydrangea, Tulips and even Roses!" His eyes glistened in memory. " It really stuck into my memory since it was the first time I had ever seen such a large display of flowers all at once...anyways, I began looking for my ball until I , for some reason began to climb the estate wall. You know the wall that stands between the main house of the Hibari's and the part open to the public?"

Kyouya's eyes opened a bit for he already knew how the story would end.

" So I looked over and I saw a child around my age there, holding my ball. Me and him, we shared a stare, but I didn't have the courage to ask him for my ball back. I climbed back down , ready to look for my eldest brother. But when I had already begun to walk to look for them, I heard a noise, like something had fallen down. That other boy had given my ball back to me! I was so happy!"

But Kyouya did not tell him, that he was the person to throw the ball back to him, nor did he tell him that Tsunayoushi's words that day had saved him.

'Thank you.' Those were the first words anyone from the outside world had ever spoken to him.

" Whenever I dream of Namimori, I always dream of that moment. The garden and when that boy gave me my ball back. I always awake feeling like I've cried, and even sometimes I awake crying. It's a very empty feeling." Tsunayoushi admitted. " If it's possible, I want to go back in time, and ask him to play with me."

Kyouya dropped his fork.

" I've always regretted that, that I didn't go back and play with him." The herbivore smiled. " I was really shy when I was small, and, well, I still would have liked to become good friends with him."

Kyouya's face became hot and looked at the plate, grabbed a mouthful and chewing angrily.

"Why would he want to become friends with a herbivore like you?"

But Tsunayoushi laughed because he could now tell when the other was joking.

' You're right! Why would anyone ever be friends with me? I'm useless!"

Tsunayoushi laughed but Hibari did not. And all he could think about, was how could anyone ever live like that, to have such an  _unhonourable_  view on themselves. From where he stood everyone loved the herbivore and gave him special treatment, but the herbivore was a fool and did not know the power he bore within, he knew this to be true, because his ch arms ( unfortunately) where working on him too.

* * *

Instead of going forward, things had become more backwards. This happened the next day.

Hibari opened his handkerchief, in which he carried his lunch and in there found a black box decorated with black swans. Just about everything else had that motif.

When he asked the herbivore about it he simply said " They reminded me of you."

Today's lunch was a Salisbury steak, vegetables seasoned to the grill. The rice wasn't too bland. It was just perfection. He was in a very good mood today, but it was a bit strange, he had been feeling too good lately.

His cellphone rung , it was his mother, who was worried over his well being , worried about him if he had made any 'friends'. He did not believe this women was his mother, because how can that be? A Carnivore coming from a complete Herbivore? Yet, since he was in a good mood he had decided to humor her for a bit.

" How are the gardens doing outside the estate, mother?"

Kyouya had begun to put away his lunch box.

" Ah, which gardens, dear? What gardens do you speak of?"

Exasperated and annoyed.

" The ones outside of the estate, the gardens that are only open to the public a few times a year."

Silence.

" Oh, you meant those! I think," his mother tried to voice her thoughts carefully, her breath caught on the receiver. " I think you are mistaken. You might have studied them when you were smaller, and since you haven't come home in such a long time you had them mixed up."

"What?"

" Those gardens only existed about fifty years ago. It's nothing to get worked about Kyouya-kun. This happens to everyone! Just the other day I-"

" What?" He interrupted. " You mean to tell me, that those gardens did not exist when I lived there? You mean to tell me, that when we had those festivals outside our territory-"

" Kyouya dear, are you feeling well? Those festivals were moved to the town square, they have always been there, ever since you were a child. You attended quite a lot. Kyouya? Kyouya? Kyou-"

But the phone slipped from his fingers, leaving behind him in a dark confusion. The meeting him and Tsunayoushi had when they were children , it did not happen . It never happened, but both of them were real and sure that it did . Tsunayoushi, that herbivore was real, and he was too. He knew that. But now he just didn't know any more.

Kyouya did not know who was pulling his strings. He forgot who's will and who's conviction did he act upon.

* * *

Since as long as he could remember Reborn always gave Tsunayoushi sort of a silent treatment whenever he made new friends. Always . It was as if Reborn felt a bit pushed away and felt threatened over everybody younger than him. He always wonders when the time will come, when Tsunayoushi would walk on his own two feet and would never need him again. Tsunayoushi needed him, Reborn kept telling himself.

( But what he didn't know [ But felt ] was that the tables were turning . And now the one who needs the other more is not Tsunayoushi, but himself.)

" I already sent the invitations to a few of Dino's birthday party. He wanted to hold it in my apartment . Just you, some uncles and aunts, father, brothers and some of my own friends. It's not going to be anything fancy."

Reborn just drank his coffee and flipped the newspaper uninterestedly.

" You'll be coming right?" The brown haired man at the kitchen sink tried again.

Nothing.

So at this time Tsunayoushi knew what to do and walked up to Reborn and placed a hand on top of his. Filled with respect and gratitude, because he knew that Reborn was always there for him, more than his father ever would and introduced ( more like forced) him to befriend the close friends he had now and said-

" Without you, who am I?"

And Reborn smiled and forgave him.

* * *

Hibari was signing a document on top of his desk, he had his legs firmly on the ground and only at certain times he looked up to see Tsunayoushi sitting with his hands in his lap.(Both of them were to meet for some documents needed signing.)

He also kept looking at a vase the herbivore had brought him. It was a hydrangea that was yet to bloom. He did not understand why the other would gift him with that, but the other had said " Nature is good for you! Plants give more freshness to a room."

There was a knocking at Hibari's door, he signaled for the other to let them in, so the mousy man stands up and opens the door. It was a man with dark rings under his eyes ( and Tsunayoushi couldn't help but admit to himself that the man seemed really scary) .He bowed politely, looking toward Hibari then looking to the other who opened the door, and bowed again.

" Hello sir, My name is Lancia and I work for division A." Hibari did not look at him, just continued to write on his desk. " I came here to ask for a day off."

Tsunayoushi could hear the other man gulp in fear, ( and he could only do so as well, since even though he had never worked under Hibari he knew what the other man asked was out of the question.)

This time the writing had stopped, and the president of the Cloud Company could only look up, blinked and opened his mouth to answer .

" No."

Lancia tried again.

" My mother died two days ago." Lancia spoke quietly, his voice wavering on a quiver. " I wanted to attend her funeral tomorrow ."

Apologetically, Tsunayoushi frowned and looked at the other. Surely Hibari would be lenient and give the other some time off.

He was wrong.

"I don't care if your mother died." Hibari's stare does not break off from the man at the doorway. " You need to arrive at work on time. A true worker would know how to split his private life from his professional life." He added an extra bite. " I should fire you for your incompetence."

The man with the steel eye moves his eyes to the one who opened the door, Tsunayoushi, and he sees horror written on his face. His eyes wide and his eyebrow furrowed. A frown at his lips.

Silence.

And Lancia could only do what he could do. To bow, and turn around . Ready to close the door behind him.

Before he could do any of those things a warm hand was placed on his shoulder seeming to say 'wait'.

Tsunayoushi looked at the man with a hopeless expression ( and sadness) and turned to the man on the desk.

" Hibari-san, surely... you aren't serious?"

"When am I not?" Kyouya is not amused and as if this conversation was a waste of time he turned to his paperwork .

Lancia sighed, and bowed at Tsunayoushi, the leader of the Vongola company. Even thought it was the first meeting he now knew now that he was a kindhearted young man. But all it did was make him unsuitable to be there. He didn't belong here.

" Thank you Sawada Sama." The elder began. " I'll be taking my lea-"

He blinked, and saw the other already on the floor, his knees bent in the position of total humiliation. Begging.

" Please...p-please, Hibari-san." Kyouya stared at the body on the floor. " Let him take the day off."

Tsunayoushi did not know why he is doing this, his feet just moved on his own.

" Get up." Kyouya said firmly, and coldly. As if he was disgusting by the mere sight of subjecting one self to coaxing.

Lancia looked back and forth in alarm, and laid low as well with Tsunayoushi. Trying to pry his arms from the floor and to make him stand up.

" No Sawada-sama. Please don't do this for my account! Please get off the floor!"

Their voices fell on deaf ears, and the other simply says with a tour de force-

" No."

Kyouya was interested on the Herbivore, how dare he defy him? He did not care that the other was his boss, that was irrelevant. So he tried another way.

" Why should I let him have the day off?"

And the other answers unashamedly " Because it is the right thing to do."

That was the most ridiculous thing Hibari had ever heard. Choosing decisions based on the principle on what was 'just' or ' wicked.' Decisions to him were based on what it could do for him. What was in his best interests.

And right when Kyouya was about to lay his law down, that herbivore said something preposterous again, something miniscule and lacking significance ( but it was still enough to move him.)

" Please do it for me."

And that was all it took for the flower on Hibari's desk to bloom, it was radiant and the aroma filled the air of Hydrangea.

" Alright." Hibari spoke. " You have my permission."

In disbelief Lancia is left speechless. He stutters and then breaks into apologies and gratitude ( he didn't even know what he was saying ) and quickly left the room.

The room was still when he left, and Tsunayoushi was still in his position on the floor, but now for a completely different matter. Instead of pleading for permission he was pleading for forgiveness. For he knew, that what he had just did was out of line.

Kyouya could not even look at the other ( it was as if he was disappointed in him ) and says in a bitter tone " And that's why you'll always be a herbivore."

He lisp were dry, and Kyouya adds for good measure, " That sort of foolishness will get you killed some day."

Both of them knew that the room dropped to temperatures under zero, and both of them heard the low humming, the sound of water faucets dripping.

" Nothing is going to happen to me, because I believe in them."

Revive. Revive, Tsunayoushi heard.

Stop, Stop, Hibari heard.

Both of them heard different things, because it was what they both needed to hear. It was a warning more than anything.

Revive. Revive. Revive within me!

Stop, stop, stop, turn back.

R.E.S.T.A.R.T.

" I believe in eternal miracles. "

* * *

You could always count on Tsunayoushi to lose his ticket every time he boarded the train and you could always count for him to lose a pen you let him borrow just a few minutes ago. Despite all this he would always be the first to give up his seat on the train for the elderly and mothers with children, you could always count on him to listen if you needed comfort or advice. You just know that he would. You just know him.

He has no sense of priorities. When he's doing the small things hes too preoccupied thinking on the big things. He'd rather think about cleaning his apartment than directing a million dollar company. But what's important to him he does it well. So in a way he isn't incompetent as he thinks he is.

Giotto and Dino knew this well, and just about everyone else that have been touched by his innocence and kindness.

In the evening, when Tsunayoushi arrived from work was when the guests started to come in. The apartment's living room had started to become a bit crowded even though there were a minimal amount of guests. Kyouya was also invited, he was in the kitchen, away from the crowd and the noise. Tsunayoushi was too busy trying to accommodate and greet the guests, so he did not get the chance to greet the other.

" Tsuna-chan, " Called his father. " Could you serve your papa some wine? Or better yet some gold old Whiskey?"

The brown haired man had a platter of eclairs on one hand and a side of spinach and cheese croissants on the other. " No father, we don't have any alcohol at this party."

" Then what sort of party is this?" Reborn asked indignantly, he had wanted to get the other smashed was all. " The only reason I attended was to see you drunk. Everyone came to see just that."

Giotto rolled his eyes while Gokudera ( thank god) did not pay attention as carefully since he had insisted on helping his beloved tenth with the task of serving the guests. There would have been a shouting contest.

Dino had been chatting with a few aunties when he pulled his smaller brother closer.

" So little brother, I heard you called for me a few minutes ago. What's going on?"

" Oh, " Tsuna smiled politely. " It's about your present. I'm giving you a turtle!"

Dino's eyes glowed as he leaned in to give his smaller brother a kiss on the check.

" How did you know I've always wanted a turtle?"

" Lucky guess?" Tsuna walked toward the kitchen, the other soon followed. " It's in my room, I also bought turtle food, the shop keeper said-"

"I know I know," Dino did his signature grin. " Only feed him three times a day. And never overfeed him because he goes a bit crazy and hits the tank."

The younger brother could only stop making the snacks, and stare upward at his brother and says-

"How would you know that? "

Dino blinked " I don't know Tsuna I just..." He seemed lost. " I don't know why but I feel like I've had Enzo since forever."

The other hadn't even mentioned the turtle's name yet, nor did he want to mention what had just happened so he just smiled as his brother excused himself ( Dino had wanted to introduce himself to Enzo properly is what he said, more than likely he just wanted to play with the turtle .)

" Herbivore."

" Ah," Tsunayoushi turned around to see his newest friend ( ?) . " Hibari-san, I'm glad you could make it. Let me introdu-"

Kyouya raised his hand and opened his mouth.

" Restroom."

Tsunayoushi blinked.

" Oh, ah, across the living room, down the hall to the right."

* * *

Kyouya was becoming impatient. Whoever was in the restroom would get bitten to death if they do not open the door in three minutes. He had his arms crossed, tapping his fingers on the wall. Rage inducing. He was already preoccupied on what his mother had told him earlier in the morning. He had not yet addressed the herbivore on such a subject, for he wanted to gain more information on the matter first.

" Excuse me." A calm and proud voice said.

The carnivore turned around to see someone four years his senior, his hair reminiscent of a herbivore he knew well. 'This is his eldest brother.' Hibari thought.

Giotto raised his hand to withdraw a few strands of hair from his face/

" Have we met before? Perhaps in France?"

What was this man talking about? Did he look French to him? There, and in that moment Hibari knew that the other was teeter tottering toward the 'Herbivore pile'.

"No, I am mistaken." Taking the other by surprise, Giotto seemed to speak in a mocking tone, bordering toward rude and cold . " The other had light hair, and his name was Alaude."

At the sound of that name Hibari turned and spat. The same feeling with Mukuro seemed to steep in with the herbivore's brother as well. He wanted to tear him to shreds.

" What do you know of my stepbrother?"

And the limitless empty space between them seemed to grow bigger and bigger, because they both knew, that they hated each other. Always.

* * *

Mukuro was having a wonderful time at the party. He alongside his smaller sister Chrome were chatting away with Tsunayoushi. The man who always tilted his hand when he served tea.

" Boss," Chrome said " These croissants are amazing, would you kindly give me the recipe?"

Tsunayoushi beamed at her , reaching for a notepad. " Sure, let me just-" When he turned his back on them ( to get a pen) , Mukuro (who currently had a knife cutting in half his croissant ) stood up following his boss.

When the Italian walked, his eyes flashed dangerously, they hid behind them the intent of harming someone, he had the knife at his side.

Tsunayoushi walked obliviously toward the kitchen , opening a cabinet. " There it is!"

Mukuro, who was half way there, lifted his knife raising to cut, and then stopped when a hand clasped his shoulder.

" Hey Mukuro-kun!" It was Yamamoto who had a tray of h' _orderves_  on his left hand. " What are you up to? Having fun so far?"

And the hetero chromatic man blinked and whispered to himself, " What the hell am I doing? Wasn't I with Chrome-chan? " He said this in a worried tone, and even Yamamoto caught on to it.

" Hey, I think you should lay down somewhere, you look sick."

The Italian nodded, and returned back to his sister, who looked quite worried and alarmed. And Yamamoto couldn't help but think ' She knows something we don't.' And she did, and not only did she know 'something' she knew 'most'. Mukuro did not leave her side for quite some time.

* * *

Yamamoto found Gokudera on the balcony of Tsunayoushi's room. He was sitting on one of the chairs near the table. A pack of cigarettes left untouched .

It was tense, and it would only get tenser, so Yamamoto speaks first, because he does so all the time.

"I think Mukuro is starting to remember, should we kill him? He's not aware of it though. " He didn't sound like Yamamoto anymore. He sounded like someone foreign.

"Let's kill him." Gokudera suggested, his hands already reaching for the lighter in his pocket.

"No we should inform this to Reborn, then he'll decide." The taller of the two leaned his back on the wall. Exhausted because of the guests ( how can Tsuna take it so much?), and exhausted because of the facade he and Gokudera had to keep up.

"We can't let anyone else remember." Gokudera finally lit up a cigarette. He felt disappointed at himself, he had promised tenth that he would quit smoking soon. Another thing to keep from him, he though. " It's bad enough that we regained our memories." He staid still for a while, his genius mind was for once overwhelmed at the complexity of the situation. Why can't life be like math, he thought? There was always an answer. He had yet to find an equation that didn't supply one. " Fuck, Fuck, Fuck." As if by cursing he would make himself feel better. And half the time, it did.

Yamamoto's eyes followed the fumes that engulfed them, it reminded him of the fish in the petshop, he was pretty sure, that Tsuna didn't know that he could see them too.

"If we don't stop the turning of the carousel," Yamamoto said darkly and hoarse, " He'll die—again."

" He cannot revive."

It was a bit sad-Because not only was Tsunayoushi losing his mind, Hibari was losing his freedom.

And in the end, Tsunayoushi did not truly know his friends.

* * *

 


	6. Macaroons

" Wouldn't it be better," Gokudera began wondering out loud. " If he did revive? If he remembered everything at this instant? Maybe we could prevent it together?" He sighed. " Of course not, Reborn told us that at all costs we shouldn't let him revive. If we let him revive it would just set the Carousel back in motion. It's stopped now, like it's in a pause."

The two adults were outside on the balcony that was connected to Tsunayoushi's room. It had a small table and the view left a great impression on the city before them. The lights of the cars and the buildings upwards the horizon seemed so close yet so far.

" Do you really want him to remember?" Yamamoto's eyes narrowed, tapping the table. " I..don't want to hurt him." He looks at the other. " Like my pops always said ' Ignorance is bliss.' "

" Uhm, excuse me."

The two men moved into position, alert and ready for whatever threat would come their way. It was Chrome, the women who was known to be Mukuro's sister. His personal secretary to the family business, The Mist. She walked slowly and in small steps. Her small heels clicking.

" Oh," Yamamoto's usual self appeared ( or maybe it was just a mask) and said , " Hello Chrome-chan! Did you get lost on the way to the ladies room?" He began to laugh as if he had just made a splendid joke while the silver haired man next to him shook his head, rolling his eyes.

The women in front of them spared no time and began to speak, her voice sounded like whispers. She moved her dark hair from her shoulder. Her eye patch decoration visible. Blue rose.

" I just wanted to agree with Gokudera-san." Her heels clicked. " I think it would be great if Boss regained his memories."

And with that, the moment became clogged, like a drain stuck with chunks of food. Seeping, but just barely. Yamamoto did not move, but Gokudera's cigarette fell from his fingers.

" Just what the fuck would you know?" He stood up, smashing his smoke with his shoes. " How much do you and your creepy ass brother know? Since when?"

Chrome looked at the floor, intimidated.

" We're waiting." Was what Yamamoto said quietly and coldly, looking at the floor as well. As if he was ashamed of treating one of the people he views as a friend like a criminal.

" Mukuro-sama, " They would never understand that quirk of her. Calling her brother in that way. " He does not know anything. He is probably aware, but he isn't getting the grasp of what's happening."

The silver haired man felt like he needed a smoke, or three. Or maybe five. Or maybe the whole pack.

" He dreams too." She looked and sounded as if she were about to cry. But the both of them knew she was that sort of person, when she spoke just a bit louder she always sounded like she was crying. " Sometimes, I find him sleepwalking, and he's doing the most strangest things. Sometimes, he acts like a child, and other times he's so miserable..."

" Mukuro-sama has been dreaming this way since he was a child. And only about..." Her eyes looked sideways. " I think about three years ago, was when I finally figured it out. Or more like I remembered everything that had every happened to him and me."

" It hit you hard didn't it?" Yamamoto's eyes were stone. He began to speak softly, like he was a child again and telling secrets with Gokudera and Tsuna underneath a tree on a summer night. " It felt like your head was going to split in two. In just one second you get to see every single thing that has ever happened to you in every life. In every life we've ever lived. "

Chrome nodded.

" I'm trying to help Mukuro-sama to remember. And I'm also trying to help boss, but I'm trying to keep him out of danger as well ."

" So," Yamamoto stood up straighter, relieved she was on their side at least. Gokudera looked back and forth between them. " When Mukuro was about to stab Tsuna, you knew that was going to happen? You asked Tsuna for the recipe on purpose?"

She began playing with the handles of her black bag.

" I didn't know exactly what was going to happen. All I know was that big brother was going to do something bad. He doesn't know what he's doing sometimes. I think, " She breathed . " The 'him' in the past is seeping through him. Making him do things he doesn't really want to do. "

" The only thing we know," Gokudera spat. " Is what happens to us in particular. We don't know anyone's else life word for word, only the part they play in ours. But all I know, " He stood up, towering over Chrome. " Is that  _that_  bastard you call a brother tried to kill tenth in some of his past lives. I should know...I should know cause I was always the one holding him back."

Chrome looked at the Italian.

" Don't be so hard on him..."

Gokudera saw red.

" Don't be so hard on him?" He began to laugh , but suddenly, hit the table with his fist. " Don't fuck with me! Do you think it's right, for me at age six to see the only friend I've ever had up until that point die in front of me? I've had these dreams since I was a kid, and each and every one—- every single one. " He swallowed something only he could feel. Regret. " I couldn't save him. " Gokudera looked away from everyone. " I couldn't save him." He repeated to himself.

" How far, " Chrome's lips moved. " Would you go for Boss?"

When she said that , Yamamoto walks up and crosses paths with her , heading straight towards Tsunayoushi's room . Puzzled she waits for a couple of minutes, and sees him coming out again. Only this time with a katana . A real sword that cut, that hurt . She turned to Gokudera, who had a lighter with a couple of dynamites on him. They were hidden underneath his shirts, pockets, anywhere he could fit them.

This is what they were capable of.

" I can feel, " She says , " Your despair."

"You're wrong." Gokudera raises his lighter to a stick of dynamite. " What you're feeling isn't that at all." He looks at her with straight eyes . " It's our loyalty."

Chrome closes her eyes, the wind began to scatter some of the flowers Tsunayoushi had planted in the balcony. The plants were swaying.

" Is that so ?" The night sky turned into a light red mixed with orange. The ethereal glow seemed to fill everyone on the balcony, it engulfed the city and all of the shops and trees . It was an eternal sunrise , the feeling of being surrounded by people yet still alone. The static had come back. And Yamamoto and Gokudera both stared at each other, nodded and acknowledged the change.

" Hey, Baseball freak." Gokudera tried to speak clearly, he felt heavy. " You know why this keeps happening right? This is between time and space. The space time continuum." He knew the taller man was completely lost, but continued to speak anyways. He knew that Yamamoto did not know the term, but he knew how it felt . " Right here, we 're in a place that has no gravity and no track of time. We've lived so long, so everything that we've learned in our past lives we know now , because we've remembered."

" So," Yamamoto wheezed. " It's reacting to the bonds and memories we all have with one another? That's why it reacts when certain people get together? Because we subconsciously know some people were important factors in the past?"

( Or they will be. )

Everything made more sense now that Gokudera had explained it to him. The other did always have the best grades. Yamamoto knew, the other could be an astronaut if he wanted to. ( But helping the world out wasn't his thing, he would rather cause a difference in just one person's world. And that person would always will be- )

" Tsuna." Yamamoto spoke, ( he spoke because it was for him too) . He always felt, like he would always throw away something important to him to protect the other.

The sunrise was still there.

"Can you feel mine as well?" Chrome spoke, her eyes were clear. " My loyalty for boss? "

Shadows emerged from her sides, grabbing the others feet and arms. They began to struggle for a bit , for they did not know her intentions.

" I don't want to fight you," She stated. " I want us to work together, but we're also a bit different. The only thing we have in common is that we don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Then let us go crazy bitch!" Gokudera began to thrash around more attempting to ignite the bomb between his teeth.

" You want to restrain Boss's memories, and you aren't even certain that it will save him. You are only doing what you think is best, but what about his feelings?" She spoke a bit more passionately now. She started to remember her parents, and she began to speak more from experience. " He is the kind of person that would want to know. He has the right to know, it's his life that's at stake."

And the two men became still, Chrome called back her shadows when she saw how much the words caused their faces to change completely.

The two friends fell toward the ground and began to cough. Slowly standing up.

" I'd hurt tenth," Gokudera swallowed as he stood up from the ground, rubbing his arm. " to protect him."

" Even if it hurts him. " Yamamoto added. " We care for him so much that we'd let him hate us."

Chrome clenched her hand tightly, biting her lip. Love, that was true love wasn't it? Putting someone elses well being before yours? ( But is it also regardless of their own feelings? ) But was that really the case in this situation? The sunrise was refusing to continue, going back down and down. Returning to night.

" You... you two don't know what's really going on , do you?" She was staring at the ground but slowly raised her head. Her eye patch ornament shown. Blue rose. " I'm.." She turned their back on them. " I'm going to help Mukuro-sama gain his memories back. I was a bit reluctant, but seeing you two made me change my mind." She paused. " I'm also going to help Boss. I'll be trying to help him revive while you two can try to stop it. You two can continue doing what you think is right, but.." She didn't have the heart to say ' but I know why you want to do this , because in the past you've been trying to do the same thing only to fail. You are going in circles. ' " But just to help you out,-"

" I hope you remembered that in this city, we've reunited here once. And if you haven't remembered that, you haven't remembered anything at all."

She walked away from them, her heels clicking as she shut the door with a small 'clack' behind her.

" The only way you'll be able to stop it," She says to herself. " -is to make him stop sleeping."

They were enemies now.

( But just barely. )

* * *

The party was in full swing.

Everyone was seated around the living room on the furniture and chairs that the youngest Sawada brother had rented. He found a party supply store down the street that even volunteered to set them up - free of charge. ( It was a good deal too!) All of the guests were in deep conversation and catching on the latest gossip. Giotto, Dino as well as Reborn and his father were in their own little clique. They were set up in the kitchen table chatting and playing cards.

The air was amiable yet at the same time homey. Just what you'd expect from Dino's birthday party.

" Ah, Tsunayoushi-kun." It was Uncle Fong , who was donning a yellow colored Changshan with white cuffs. He looked down on the other who was juggling several plates filled with food and beverages. He extended his hands and gently tried to probe it off the Tsunayoushi's fingers. " Go on and take a breather. You must be exhausted."

" Ah, no!" The younger began to stutter. " It would be rude on my part to let the guest serve!"

" Nonsense!" Fong ushered the young man by steering his back towards the sink, next to the kitchen table with his family. ( All the while balancing the plates with extreme precision.) He pulled back a chair for him, smiling as he did so.

" Now Tsunayoushi, sit down like your Uncle Fong has told you to."

Reborn smirked and mocked disappointment.

" You're disrespecting your elders again, No Good Tsuna?" The Italian clicked his tongue as he shuffled a pack of cards. " Quite a rebel."

" T-that's not it at all!"

Giotto ( who was seated next the youngest) smiled also.

" My little brother is gong through his rebellious faze. You know," The blonde began to speak in a condescending tone. " Teenagers."

" B-but I'm in my twenties!"

Dino joined in, checking his cards with a quick peek then looking down dejectedly. Bad hand.

" Next thing you know, little bro is going to get some chick pregnant."

Tsunayoushi's father began to laugh near Reborn's side.

" That's crazy talk! My little Tsunayoushi getting some women pregnant?" His father had tears in his eyes. " I'd put my money on my secretary Basil to do so first!"

" Now, Now," The Chinese man began to nag his finger at everyone. " Be nice to Tsunayoushi. He's been working hard for all of us, hasn't he made such delicious food ? He has accommodated us splendidly, hasn't he?"

And Tsunayoushi began to smile, a small shy smile that only his Uncle Fong would bring out. Since a child , Fon had always paid more attention to the things he could do rather than the things he couldn't do. And to Tsunayoushi, that was an incredible feat. No one had ever encouraged him with that sort of sincerity much like his Uncle Fong had. Granted, the Chinese man wasn't really his Uncle, more like he was friends of the family's, as well as Reborn's. He would visit ever so often with Uncle Collonello and Aunt Luce.

Whenever Tsunayoushi would get together with his family, all sorts of memories would come all at once. Like, when he would be around his Uncle Fong and his Godfather Reborn it made him think of good things. Good memories, like the time they taught him how to make paper stars( that was Fong) and when they taught him how to play with a BB gun ( that was Reborn). But it also made him think of painful things, things he would never admit to anyone because it made him feel embarrassed and small.

One of these painful memories, was how Reborn had always been strict in mathematics ( or any of his subjects) . Since at the age of five, the older would keep on pushing for Tsunayoushi to learn lesson after lesson without explaining it more than once. ( You only need to hear it once. If you don't I'll slap you.) So the child Tsunayoushi would try to please his Godfather, the one he called Uncle when he was much older due to the embarrassment that comes with growing.

Now, along that time ( when Reborn had sorted to violence) Fon would come along and add his two cents , claiming that he could teach the smaller better. That Tsunayoushi needed to be taught differently because there are several types of learning and everyone is different.

" That isn't true, " Reborn as a teenager had said. " My teaching methods were the same way I was taught. And I excel at every subject, you know that Fong ." He crossed his legs. " The only reason people use those methods is to spoil children. If I keep at it, it will be drilled into him sooner or later. He will learn to adapt. "

Was that what Tsunayoushi was? A spoiled child? He wouldn't want to be. Spoiled sounded rotten. An apple that he couldn't eat.

The younger Fong folded his arms across his chest, Tsunayoushi sitting in between them on a small desk while the two were above him arguing. He felt small and uncomfortable, so he clenched his fists and looked nervously back and forth.

" No he won't. There are different types of learning styles. Tsunayoushi is not an auditory learner, which you have proven time and time again." He proceeded to take out a small picture book with apples that had small cutouts. " He is a Kinesthetic learner. See?" His expression turned softer. " Tsunayoushi how many apples are here?"

The small boy looked like he was about to cry, he was no good at math, or anything for that particular matter. He forced himself to look, but was pleasantly surprised that the cutouts were detachable . He took the apple cutouts off the tree in the book and began to count.

" Five!" He shouted excitedly.

" Excellent work! Now, " Fong pointed to the other page, gleaming in pride while Reborn just stared with a sour look on his face. " Count the other ones on the other tree."

"Uhm,...t-two?"

" Correct! Now subtract Tsunayoushi-kun. What's five minus two?"

Normally, the small child would be crying right about now. He dreaded mathematics, but today was a bit different. He put all the apples together and took two away, and counted them once again.

" Three! It's three! " The small boy began to clap. "It's three!"

And why shouldn't the young boy be ecstatic? After all that was the first problem he had ever gotten right.

He didn't notice Fong swapping Reborn in the shoulder with a rolled up piece of newspaper.

" Kinesthetic learner, Kinesthetic learner, … I told you..."

Reborn gritted his teeth, and his mouth was in a flat line. " Although it may be tempting to stick with what works, he has to learn the other methods as well. If not he's going to turn out the type of person everyone takes advantage of. "

Reborn threw that book away into the trash the next day.

He never got why Reborn had become so angry, but then again, in a way Reborn was right. He never did get the hang of any other learning method. ( And he was taken advantage of). He was so caught up in his memories, that he hadn't even noticed when Fon had left to start serving others, nor did he notice when the card game had ended.

His eyes settled on towards his father who wore a messy suit, his smile that he had passed down toward Dino . He really didn't have any good memories of him, or any for that matter. His father was always at work, and at the times that he did bother to appear he was drunk, either that or sleeping. Giotto and Dino told him that he wasn't always that way, that before he had been born Iemetsu would take the Sunday of every weekday off. For 'Family Time' as he would call it. ( This did not concern Tsunayoushi,because he wasn't there.)

Tsunayoushi then decided, that he was going to try to talk to his father again. He still disliked him, but he had to have respect for him.

" F-father." Tsunayoushi began. All eyes were on him, but he didn't notice that they were looking in back of him. Hibari had taken a stool near the refrigerator and sat. He was in a foul mood ( anyone could see that, ) except people that were sitting in the other way of course. Hibari was away from the crowds, and the kitchen was the only place that had room to walk and to breath. ( He wanted to leave, but something told him to stay.)

After someone had already confused him for his elder brother, it made him a bit peeved. Alaude and him looked nothing alike. Hibari looked at the eldest Sawada brother, that once aware of his eyes on him, began smiling politely. It was condescending, and if Hibari were an undisciplined individual he would have taken out his tonfas and created a disturbance.

He did not talk to him for more than five minutes and he knew he hated him. It was the same feeling he had gotten from that pineapple herbivore. Contempt. And Hibari knew, the feelings were mutual.

" Remember that time, you took us to the Namimori town festival to see the gardens ? " It wasn't a very good topic starter, but Tsunayoushi had to begin somewhere. The memory fresh in his mind since he had spoken about it to Hibari the other day.

His father crinkled a smile. " Ah, I remember taking all of you to the festivals," He then began to have a confused expression, his crow's feet on the edge of his eyes moving. " But I don't remember any with a garden."

Giotto laughed through his nose, yet still retained that cool expression he always wore. " How would you remember?" The blonde placed a hand underneath his chin. " You were drunk most of the time anyways. You always left right after you drove us there."

Dino laughed while talking. " Aww, c'mon. At least he drove us." He gained his composure and added " And Pops, what are you talking about? There was a garden there."

Kyouya, ( who had begun to devour a plate of macaroons) stood still. So , there are now two others that had seen the gardens. He reminded himself to write about this discovery once he returned home.

Reborn began to shuffle the cards for a new game.

"The Gardens," Tsunayoushi looked at his father desperately , for Iemetsu did not know it, but he was playing with his strings. " Don't you remember? It had Hydrangeas, and tulips and-"

"Tsuna," His father began. " There was no garden, I mean, it's been such a long time. Maybe you have forgotten." Iemetsu smiled. " Maybe you've been working too hard." Laughter. " God , Tsuna, I always knew you had it in you to become the head of the Vongola."

No you didn't, was what Tsunayoushi thought but didn't say. How can you believe in that if you don't believe in me when I tell you what I saw?

" I remember." Giotto stands up, faces Tsuna and intertwines their fingers together. The color of their skin was the same, they blended in nicely. " We held hands like this and on the other side of me," He raised a hand toward the middle brother. "- was Dino."

Dino blinked slowly. " Yeah, I was." He was repeating these words as if he was remembering for the first time. " I was looking around for Tsuna because we lost him in a crowd right?"

" Exactly," Giotto smiled. " I began to look for him in the gardens, and I even remember winning him a red ball that looked a bit like a lantern, or it reminded me of it."

"Oh!" Dino clapped his hands as if it were bingo and he had just won. " No, you won the ball in the morning and the lantern in the evening!"

All the while they began to reminisce of all the pleasant memories they shared at that festival, their father looked quite troubled and confused.

"That's odd." Iemetsu began to rub the stubble on his chin. His tongue clicked. " Last I remembered, The gardens were in the Kyouya estate, and the festival was moved to the town square. I remember when it moved...Giotto are you sure?"

Kyouya was on his last macaroon, he bit hard.

"Yes father."

His father didn't seem to be taking it in quite well, but blinked, and began to smile again. "Oh well, I guess I 'aint as young as I used to be. You know me, always forgetting everything." He slapped the table." If Giotto says so then it must be true."

Reborn stays silent and begins to cut the cards, not bothering to look up at anyone else on the table. He handed the cards out, but does not pass one to Tsuna.

"Hey," Dino said suddenly. Looking at his cards interestedly, only glancing at his younger brother shortly. If he would have noticed , he would have seen a face that looked crushed. A face that looked like they had lost something. " You forgot to give a hand to Tsuna."

" He won't be playing."

Tsunayoushi does not speak back, he merely stands up and begins to wash the dishes, lightly humming to himself while his family played cards on the kitchen table.

All the while he scrubbed the pot roughly, his thoughts were filled with so many things. His home, picture books, his job, files he needed to turn in, his resentment towards his father, his dreams, 'Why does my father agree so quickly when it comes to Giotto but when it comes to me, he doubts me?' And the 'He doesn't even try to understand me.' Those sorts of thoughts.

Kyouya who was on the stool near the refrigerator (which was near the faucet) had begun to stare at the herbivore who had begun to clean. He saw the way he grabbed the pan roughly, scrubbing at it as if he were erasing chalk on a board.

" I'm leaving." Kyouya said suddenly.

The herbivore drops the sponge frantically, scared and jumpy.

" Hibari-san!" The brown haired man lifts a hand to his chest. " I didn't see you there. How are you enjo-"

" I'm leaving." He repeated once more and begun to walk out the front door . He had reached the latch , only to feel a smaller pair of hands on top of his.

" Please don't go."

The living room was full, but in a split second they were both alone. The music was shut off, the lights on the room began to flicker on and off. From the window in Tsunayoushi kitchen , an eternal sunrise could be seen.

When the two were together this happened frequently, for it was a warning. A warning that the same things were happening, yet again. Different situations, but the same outcome.

Hibari's hand stopped.

" I dislike them."

But before Tsunayoushi could say 'Who' Kyouya opened the door and walked out, but not before turning his head to the right, and looking at the herbivore from behind his shoulder.

" Tomorrow, we need to talk. "

And he closed the door.

* * *

Mukuro sat on the far off corner of the room, the place Tsunayoushi liked to keep his collection of books with the spines all bent backwards. Meaning to say he had read them quite a lot. He had an enormous headache and knew that he would get an eye infection soon. He was born with a birth defect, a mutated eye. His younger sister was born with the same problem, and the doctor had told them it was due to the mother being stressed out during the pregnancy. Often times, when the side of his head would hurt, ( it felt like a needle pinning through his skull) he would often get an eye infection. His eye would get swollen and he would have to put warm teabags over it to stop the swelling.

It was inconvenient if he had an infection during a business meeting , but luckily eye patches only made him more intimidating.

He saw his youngest sister Chrome a few feet away, speaking to Tsunayoushi. She spoke with a tint of blush on her cheeks and the other did the same, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. They looked like they were some sort of love birds.

A sudden sharp pain drilled into his skull, the pain was so great that it resulted in him squeezing the handles of his seat.

" Big brother Mukuro." He looks up and sees from the corner of his eyes his younger sister carrying a small pot in her hands. " I told Boss that we were leaving since you weren't feeling very well."

His younger sister knew him better than anyone. She knew when he was with a fever. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as soon as a pair of warm hands were placed on his forehead.

" Mukuro-san, are you alright?" Tsuanyoushi's voice was laced with concern. " You have a fever, you should go get some rest."

In front of the other, he wanted to appear strong. Indestructible and fierce. So he stands up, and dons his usual smirk.

" My, My Tsunayoushi-kun." He laughs his strange laugh. " If I knew you were this worried about me, I would have asked you to become my personal nurse."

" Hieeeeeeee. No way! How gross!"

" Is that so, what a pity. Even so, I bid you adieu Tsunayoushi-kun." He curtsies. " Until next time."

Chrome laughed, and placed a hand on her brother's sleeve. " Actually big brother, I asked Boss-" A small cry of ( Call me Tsuna) was heard. " If he would like to have dinner at my house this Wednesday. Would you like to join us?"

His two most important people were going to be in one location. He took this opportunity with delight, and said-

" But of course Chrome-chan. Would you mind Tsunayoushi-kun? I wouldn't want to be intruding." He smiled.

The other began to move his hands about. " Ah, no, it's f-fine! I'd be really happy if you'd come Mukuro-san!"

The Italian began to tease the other in a light manner.

" Now don't lie to me Tsunayoushi-kun." He began to fake a sob. " I know you detest me with every fiber of your being! "

" I don't hate you Mukuro-san!" Chrome saw as Tsunayoushi took in her brother's hands in his. He saw the way his brother's leather gloves moved, for the other was holding his hands tightly. " I really like you! You know that!"

The man with the thigh high boots, looked at their hands together, and then at the others embarrassed face. Mukuro's pain in his eye and forehead completely forgotten.

"I-I would really like you to be there."

Mukuro squeezed the others hands back. His eyes looked at the other with a look that sent sparks towards each others eyes.

" I'll be sure to be there."

Chrome lightly smiled, for what she had planned was already in motion. With this, she thought carefully, I will change destiny. I will change everyone's destiny for the better.

But was that really such a good idea?

The Carousel had begun to turn, but just a little bit.

* * *

It was nearing twelve, and the guests had already begun to leave. His Uncle Fon had given Dino a sweater and a statue for good luck, as well as a well organized explanation as to why Aunt Luce, Viper, Skull and his Godfather Collonello couldn't make it.

" Nah, I know how it is." Dino grinned. " No hard feelings."

Reborn began to shake hands with Fong . " Fong stop lying to the boy. Collonello just doesn't like him."

Fong smiled, but took a few steps backwards, slowly as not to raise suspicion. He was almost near the door, almost, almost , al-

" Wait! Uncle Fong ! What did Reborn mean by that! ? Is that true? " Dino ran after him only to trip on his own shoes. That's Dino for you. He'd fall upwards the stairs if he could.

" Tsunayoushi-kun," Giotto towered over his youngest brother. " Thank you for taking such good care of us."

Tsunayoushi waved as random guests left for the night, he turned back to his brother.

" No, don't mention it." He still had his plastic smile on. " I should thank you for coming! See you soon!"

"Ah," Dino picked himself up and held the door open as the last of the guests left. He then beamed a smile at him , that sort of smile he always wore as a kid when he asked the youngest for a couple of dollars. " Actually, we were wondering if we could stay over your house for a couple of days." The blond's voice was near clear and crisp, the house now quiet. " The branch of the Vongola I work for sent me to the one in this city to get some things done. It's the same for Giotto."

"Ah," This came as a surprise to the youngest, it was very unusual for his brothers to do this. When he lived on the other side of town, they never asked to sleep over. And perhaps that was the real reason. That now , because he had a nice apartment they wanted to stay.

" We hardly see each other because of the companies and all that, but if you're busy then we can just stay at a hotel, no biggie." Dino patted Tsunayoushi on the back. " We were going to talk to you about this earlier but you seemed busy."

Giotto stepped in. " We would just like to spend time with you is all. "

Hearing this made Tsunayoushi's heart soar. He felt happy that his brothers still cared for him as much as when they were children. He quickly regained some of the energy he lost at the party, and it showed.

" Ah, it's alright with me!" His smile lit up the whole room. "I only have one extra bed and that was my old one. Did I tell you that Reborn bought me a King sized bed? It's huge!" He laughed. "Maybe we could all sleep on it together, or if you want I'll give you guys the bed while I sleep on the couch."

Dino laughed and ruffled his smaller brothers hair " No it's all right. You're all skin and bones little brother. We'll all fit. And if we don't I'll sleep on the couch!" To prove his point he fell face down on the couch, bringing Tsunayoushi down with him as well. They both fell on each other and the smaller began to laugh as Dino began to tickle him relentlessly.

Giotto smiled at his two brothers and began to look around for a broom and a small sweeper ( he thought it would be best if they began to clean.) He found the cleaning items and began to sweep lazily, only to see Reborn, who was sitting on the couch in the living room enjoying a cup of coffee.

" Well Reborn, it was nice seeing you again."

The elder merely turned on the television.

" Likewise."

The blond wondered, when would Reborn go home? He turned to his youngest brother( who was sitting on Dino's stomach) as he was loosening his tie.

" Boy, what a day." He sighed as he took off his small suit jacket revealing a vest. " Parties are sure hard work."

" Thanks little bro," Dino spoke as he pushed in his stomach in and out, much to the annoyance of the one who sat on him. ( He always did this when they were younger.) " You're always good at these sorts of things, sorry for pushing all of this on you. I just really wanted some of your cooking. "

"It's alright Dino." Tsunayoushi sunk his back on the couch. " I had fun preparing the food."

"Ahem."

It was Giotto, who towered over them with a hand at his side. And Dino knew that look, this can't be good, he thought.

"Yes, big brother Giotto?"

"A guest is still here."

The brown haired man looked around.

"Oh, who?"

" Your godfather Reborn." Giotto motioned to the kitchen. ( Reborn had said that he needed a snack to watch television.)

"Oh." The other blinked.

"What do you mean 'oh'?"

Dino looks between the two and wonders why Giotto is a bit miffed over all this. Oh, wait. It's Reborn. Reborn and Giotto were closest to age, so when they were children, both of them would often fight over the power they had over others. He can't believe he had just forgotten that. You can't have two dictatorial tyrants in one room, it just wasn't possible. Because both would create a scene if one paid attention to one or the other.

"He sleeps here all the time."

Tsunayoushi likes to answer in short sentences when he knows he is in an argument, that or when he has no where to run. It was a very quiet form of resistance. He stands up (noticing the stature of his eldest brother) and walked quickly to the kitchen.

" Since when?" Giotto sounded unamused.

" Since I moved here."

Before the two could continue their conversation the doorbell rung. Dino breathed a sigh of relief, they were all supposed to be spending time with one another not arguing . Dino remembered, that when they were small the eldest would often take the ' big brother' privileges far. Granted, Giotto did use his overbearing personality for the good of everyone, to take care of them and keep them out of trouble. But sometimes, his cruelty would show and he would use his powers to oppress . He was just that sort of person. So it was no wonder when he wanted Reborn out of the picture, two positives make a negative.

Tsunayoushi raised an eyebrow,who could it be at this hour?

He excused himself and walked toward the door, opening the latch and said-

" Hello, Welcome to-"

He was greeted back with a punch to the face that sent him flying, all the way to the back of the couch. Now this garnered the attention of everyone, and Reborn emerged from the kitchen with a pistol cocked, Giotto bolted out of the kitchen, ready to annihilate anyone that would hurt his brother like that, he was even cracking his knuckles.

Reborn took just one look on the violent guest and his anger deflated, the rage and protective stance was gone.

The tall man placed his pistol back on safety. "Oh," He spoke as if the man with the scar on his face were some kind of toy cat. " It's just you Xanxus, carry on."

But Xanxus didn't seem to hear, he appeared to be more..angrier than usual ( and that's saying a lot.)

" Why didn't you invite me?" He sounded like some kind of rotten brat. A kid that hadn't gotten invited to a class birthday party.

The smaller man, struggles to get up ( Little brother take my hand! ) and says with blood trickling down his nose " But I did! I sent you a fax and I called you a couple of times... I even sent a note out to your secretary ! "

Xanxus's expression didn't change, but he did take out his cellphone, and began to dial. It was on speaker, since Xanxus did not trust phones. ( But then again, what did he trust?)

" H-hello, Boss. " The voice was fuzzy due to a bad connection. " How may I hel-"

" Trash you're fired."

"No! Please wait ! What di-"

The call was disconnected.

While Giotto was disinfecting his wound with rubbing alcohol, Tsunayoushi knew, that it would be one hell of a night. Literally.

* * *

In Kyouya's apartment the yellow canary was staring at his owner in interest. And the other stared back at the bird through the white cage that divided them. His owner was analyzing him, inspecting the small creature if he were fit to be a carnivore.

Kyouya began to leaf through a book he had grabbed from his study and went to a bookmarked page. He reread the passage and promptly shut it quickly.

The man walked around the room, shutting all the windows with a lock and made sure the fire place's gate was closed. He placed the fire poker on it's stand.

" I don't like herbivores, Hibird. " Kyouya says with a straight face. He did not know why he named the canary such a silly name, but it fit. He had no choice but to call him that. " So if you're intelligent enough, I'll teach you to become a ferocious carnivore, like me."

The bird chirped, and as soon as Kyouya undid the handle on the cage, the bird perched on it's owner's finger.

" Fly to the north."

Hibird flapped it's wings and flew in the direction he was instructed.

Kyouya smirked.

" Fly toward the south."

The bird did as it was told.

" Now," Kyouya began to make a small square using his fingers. " Give me a small notebook from my desk." The dark haired man pointed to his desk , Hibird chirping as he did so.

Hibird quickly swooped down, grabbed the smallest notebook he could find and dropped it in front of his owner, leaving him nothing but pleased. This bird was intelligent that much was certain. He was about to give another order, when he saw the way Hibird kept looking back and forth at the window next to his study.

It looked a bit like longing.

"You want to go outside?" He asked.

Hibird chirped.

Kyouya steps toward the window and opens it. He sticks his head out the window, looking out at the night and seeing how little stars there were out. He could count them all by hand, but at Namimori there were a million. An entire cosmos. He breaths in, and stares at the canary that had begun to chirp loudly. And the both shared a look, and just like that the bird began to soar away into the night sky.

Kyouya did not have to tell Hibird anything, because the look told the canary , that it was alright for him to go, ' Just come right back to me.'

He looked at the way the form of Hibird's wings stretched out as he flew. How he stood out from the dark sky. He did not belong in a cage, Kyouya thought, and he decided- that he would get rid of it promptly.

" You were important to me ." He realized.

* * *

Dino sits crisscrossed in front of his younger brother's DVD collection. He was currently searching for an action flick that covered everyone's taste. He extended each of the DVD cases if they caught his interest, reading through the summaries idly.

Xanxus sat on the couch with his legs far apart, chugging down a bottle of alcohol that Tsunayoushi had ran towards the twenty four hour convenience store for . Who knew that they carried imported fancy liqueur ? All that he really knew was that the city at night never died down. There were still people out and about. It was a bit scary. When did they ever get their sleep?

Tsunayoushi placed a tray with the food that was leftover from the party. Croissants, to stakes, to macaroons. Everything was there.

The man with the scar on his face began to sniff the food, suspiciously. " Did you make the food trash?"

" Y-yes."

The man with the leather boots was surprised, since the food was actually quite delicious ( not that he would ever admit it).

"So, is it to your liking Xanxus-san?" Tsunayoushi says this slowly and gently.

The other snorted.

" I'm shoving it down my throat aren't I?"

Tsunayoushi does not say anything else, in fear of angering the other. ( Little did he know, that this was his 'good mood'.)

" Yo, bro!" Dino smiles. "Can we watch this movie? I found a good one." He extends to hand Tsunayoushi the film.

" Oh, a mafia movie." The younger tilts it to the side to show Xanxus the film in question. " We'll have to ask Reborn. He left the movie here last time."

" Put it on." Reborn appeared out of no where, a hand on the coach behind the youngest Sawada ( who just jumped).

" Hiieeeee! Reborn don't sneak up on me like that!"

" Don't get scared then."

" Let's wait until Giotto comes out of the bathroom, alright? He likes these sorts of movies." Dino begins to get comfortable underneath the Kotatsu table. " Hey, don't you think being in the mafia would be fun? What about you little bro? Doesn't it seem exciting?"

Reborn doesn't seem to be interested on the conversation and begins to set up the television for the film.

"I would never want to be a mafia man." Tsunayoushi's voice sounded muffled from fatigue. " Its dishonest. Its wrong."

And Xanxus tries not to release a bitter laugh at that statement.

* * *

The next day Kyouya is in front of Tsunayoushi's apartment. He does not know when the other had went from 'herbivore' to 'Tsunayoushi'. He does not keep track of such useless things. He taps on it once more for good measure, nothing. It was nine o'clock sharp. Surely that little creature should be out and about. He knocked on it once again, and this time it did open.

A blond with a bedraggled appearance smiled at him sheepishly, "Yo, you must be looking for Tsuna. I'm his older brother Dino. "

In his mind, Kyouya knows that the person before him is an idiot. That being so, idiots should be ignored, which was what he was taught at a young age. He pushes the Italian away from the door, steps inside and begins to take his shoes off at the entrance.

" Hey." Dino raises his voice just a bit " You can't just enter like this ! I'm Tsuna's brother, and I don't know you so-"

"Correct." Kyouya says flatly. He sits on the couch in front of the Kotatsu table." You are that herbivore's brother, you are not the owner of his apartment. You don't know me, but your brother does, you idiotic creature."

Dino could accept the iced tone the man speaks to him in, he could even take the seething glares that were sent in his direction , but he will not take his insults.

Who was he to walk in like he owned the place? Most importantly, Dino thought, Who was he to Tsuna? They did not appear to be acquaintances, for the dark haired man in front of him does not seem to bother with that. And they did not appear as friends, they just couldn't be friends.

Tsunayoushi waltzes into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, inattentive to the chilly atmosphere in the living room.

"Oh, Hibari-san." Tsunayoushi blinks. Remembrance. " Oh, we were supposed to speak today right? If you'd like we can go to a-"

" We are going to a library." The man with the charcoal hair stood up, not even acknowledging that the shorter man had begun to introduce his brother.

" Let's go." Kyouya demands as he places his black spotless shoes on his feet.

"Ah, right, right." The other does the same grabbing his brown shoes from the entrance.

Tsunayoushi clutches his wallet and keys on the stand near the entrance. He looks back at his graceless brother and says, " Big brother, Sorry , but I have to go. Get breakfast with Reborn and Giotto, alright? I'll be back by lunch, hopefully. Xanxus left a little earlier, but he'll come back later. See you!"

Dino was left flabbergasted and tongue tied, he was now left with the two demons, and they were not, let's say, articulate in the morning.

When the door was shut, he thought about going back to sleep on the couch. Last night, it was a war who would get the bed. So in the end, Xanxus was too drunk to care where he slept. So he slept on the couch across from Dino.

Giotto had ( reluctantly) slept on Tsunayoushi's old bed ( in the guest room) ,while Reborn had slept with Tsunayoushi on the king sized bed. But to be fair, the younger only slept with Reborn for about an hour, and came crawling to Dino in the couch. When the middle asked why he left, and why hadn't he went to Giotto, the youngest said-

" Because Reborn drank a bit and it made him weird. And I can't go to Giotto because he'd complain about sharing."

Dino looked at the other drowsily. " And you think it's safer with him?" He points to Xanxus who had begun to snore loudly.

" I'll take my chances."

Dino heads straight for the couch again and relaxes, but he can't because he keeps having a single thought bothering him.

What was Tsunayoushi doing with a person like Hibari?

* * *

When they boarded the Train into the heart of the city, it was a bit crowded. Kyouya did not mind as long as they left him with more than enough space. He did not speak to the timorous man beside him, latching on to one of the handles above them. They both stood up due to the seats being full.

Today was a Saturday, most didn't have school and a lot more did not work. Such was the case for these two neighbors. They only had one day of the week off, and on Sunday they had a half day. But in a corporation like the Vongola, you were never on break.

It was a bit peculiar, but being with the younger man made him feel the same as when he was with Hibird. Tsunayoushi made him think of Namimori, it made him feel at peace. He looked toward the windows and saw that it had begun to sprinkle a bit. The clouds a light gray. The choice of words he had used to describe the feelings he had around the herbivore was strange , but he had no other way of explaining it. He felt dead. But in a good way if it made sense. Eternal peace.

He wished for this moment to pause. For the train to go on for eternity and never reach their destination. If it did happen, Kyouya would not mind at all.

They train is in halt, and the doors are open. More people come in than out, leaving everyone around them jammed.

This causes Tsunayoushi to lose his grip on the strap ( since he was height challenged) and began to tumble, falling down.

He landed on a chest, and when he looked up, he saw that he was pressed up against Hibari. They were in a very compromising position, his head not even reaching the others chin. He tried to move ( for he was frightened over being bitten to death) but it was to no use. The train was too full.

Tsunayoushi was prepared, that at any given moment ( any moment ,now) Hibari would turn brutal

and bite everyone to death for crowding around him. He waited and waited, but nothing came.

Hibari placed his chin on the others head, and sighed. The other was but stone, frigid and uncomfortable. He did not know what to do in this situation, being in such close proximity with the other man left him feeling strange. ( Nostalgic even.)

It felt like they were holding each other, but their hands were not around each other.

"Tsunayoushi." The man says his name clearly. The train moving up and down. " You asked me what I would remember in a dream once."

The other says nothing, the scent of the others cologne filled his senses. It made him think of a light breeze in a field. In the fields he used to play with Yamamoto and Gokudera.

"And what did you respond Hibari-san?"

Hibari leans on the wall behind him a bit more, his jaw off the others head and now staring outside to the drizzle that turned into a downpour.

"Everything."

And unbeknownst to Hibari, Tsunayoushi had begun to wish that the train would forever go on as well.( Even though forever was such a long time.) Because somehow, he knew that once they would take even a foot of the train, things were about to change for them.

* * *

The library was an impressive thing, it's architecture inspired by old English buildings. It really did encourage one to engorge in literature and escapism.

They walked to the main lobby ( while Tsunayoushi's head kept turning around to look at everything) and stopped at the front desk.

Kyouya's eyes narrow at the shorter man " I'll go reserve a conference room for the two of us. Wait here."

Tsunayoushi nods pleasantly.

He doesn't look too convinced and says again,

" If you leave I'll bite you to death."

While Hibari leaves to demand for his reservation Tsunayoushi's eyes wander around the library. Everything is in a very neat order, the shelves organized like some sort of maze. Anyone could get lost in here if left alone for some time.

"Once upon a time," Tsunayoushi heard. It was an enchanting but obviously male voice, but he was not sure from where it was coming from. " There was a Knight that lived in a village that knew nothing of pain or hatred. The village's name could not be pronounced in human tongue, for it could only be spoken in whispers. Whispers that sounded like the wind. He protected the village with all his might, and was blessed with a pure heart."

Something inside him had a strong desire to listen to the rest of the story, but where was the voice coming from? His feet had begun searching for the direction of the voice.

" This knight with the pure heart cared about only two things. His town and the prince who was his royal charge. They were good friends, and once the prince was to be king, he would be gifted with the documents to ensure that he would be the sole ruler of the village."

Tsunayoushi ran between bookcases after bookcases, ducking his head in and out, trying to find the voice that sounded close.

" One day, the Knight left to hunt for food in his village. He was running a bit late and crossed an enchanted forest to get to the hunting grounds faster. The Knight knew he was strong, so he had nothing to fear. But that was what he thought, that wasn't the truth."

The mousy man stops running when he noticed that the voice seemed more clearer, more in the vicinity. He looks at the decorations around the bookshelves, 'This must be the children's section.' he thought, and he turns around to a place that had big beany bags and a rug.

Sitting on that rug were a handful of children, around twenty four he estimated. They were all listening quietly and attentively (it reminded him of his students and as well as his teaching job). The one who was reading the story was a man around his age that had white hair, wearing nothing but a simple monochromatic suit. His eyes were a bit mysterious, for they smiled for him.

The both of them locked eyes and Tsunayoushi sat down beside the children.

" Ah," The man with the gentle voice spoke. " It seems we have a big kid here with us."

The children turned around to see the newcomer, but when they did so, one of them stood up and shouted-

" Tsunayoushi-sensei!"

They tackled the poor man and began to latch on to him not wanting to let go. And now he realized why they appeared so familiar to him. Every single one of his students were seated on the carpet, they were all here. He couldn't help it, but tears started to form at the corner of his eyes.

" Hi everyone! I'm very happy to see all of you again." He spke as he felt tiny hands all over him, some even pulling his hair.

" But you need to be quiet and use your in-door voices." He brought a hand to his lips. " This is a library. And what is the first rule in the library?"

" Be quiet." The children chorused.

* * *

Once the commotion died down a bit, they bombarded Tsunayoushi with many questions.

" Why did you leave teacher? "

" Yeah, you just dissapeared one day!"

" Well, I was uhm," There was no way he could sugarcoat his layoff. " The principle told me I couldn't work in there anymore."

A chorus of ' boo's' filled the air.

" What! ? "

" The principle is dumb!"

The white haired man laughed as Tsunayoushi looked at his students bashfully. He looked at the other and said " Sorry for interrupting...Uhm, you could continue if you'd like."

The man on the chair shook his head. " I think it would be best if you told the rest of this story. We barely started on this chapter book, and the children seem so eager for you to do it ."

" B-but I couldn't possibly-"

"Besides , " The other says slyly. " I'd like to hear you as well."

" Ah, uhm-"

"Tsunayoushi."

A stern man looks at the younger in a reprimanding way. The same look a mother has when her child has run amok in a grocery store , causing him to become lost, only to return again with no guilt.

Hibari snaps. " What did I tell you? I told you to stay in the main lobby where I could find you. But I find you here playing with children."

" Don't be mean to teacher!" A child chimes in.

" Yeah, it wasn't his fault, we took him to play."

Kyouya does not care if they are children, he speaks to them as the same manner he would speak to adults. " Then you should know it is rude to take one's toy away."

Tsunayoushi felt, like this would not turn out well.

The children stood up and began to defend their honor. " We saw him first. He was ours before anything!"

"Lies," says Hibari. " I'm bigger than you so that means I'm more intelligent than you. You may have seen him first, but I bought him first. Whatever I says goes-"

" H-hibari-san!" Tsunayoushi jolts up quickly, knowing that if Hibari was serious about fighting against some gradeschoolers it was going to be one hell of a fight. For he knew, the atrocities children were capable of doing to their enemies. " I'm terribly sorry. But you see, these are my ex students. I used to be a teacher-"

" I don't care, let's go."

Tsunayoushi sighs and begins to stand up. He raises his leg to walk, but suddenly feels a dozen pair of hands on him. Not wanting to let go. It broke his heart.

The children all began to plead him to stay, to not go. He wanted to, he wanted to stay in the library and never come out. But he wasn't a child anymore, he was an adult with a responsibility to join the working force, pay taxes and mingle with other adults.

He didn't want to be an adult.

He turns to the children and smiles a hopeful smile. " I can't stay I'm sorry, but, if you'd like I can visit you here every Saturday and read to you here at the library. How does that sound?"

The children agreed simultaneously, happy that they would see the teacher that they loved again. And so was their teacher, who felt like something inside of him was taken when he had quit his position as a teacher.

He was about to join Hibari ( who was now looking quite annoyed) but was stopped when a hand touched his shoulder.

It was that white haired man. " Here is my contact information," He handed the other a slip of paper." For when you want help regarding the procedures to become a volunteer for the library."

" Oh, thank you very much , uh-"

" Byakuran." The other one smiled and tilted his head. " It's Byakuran, but you could call me Byaku-Byaku!"

" Ah, s-sure." Tsunayoushi bowed. Unsure of what to make of the others personality. " My name is Sawada Tsunayoushi, but you can call me Tsuna if you like.."

" Tsunayoushi?" He began to laugh like a mocking child, pointing fingers and everything. " Hahah, your name is so funny."

He was definitely strange.

" I'll stop the reading for today, and pick another book."

" Ah, you don't have to-"

Tsunayoushi raises his hands, but the taller raises a hands to his lips.

" You seemed quite interested in it," Byakuran says while lifting the small chapter book in his hands. " -and it wouldn't be a problem. It was either this or 'Alice And The Looking Glass.' See you next week!

" Yes, see you next week Byakuran-san!"

When Tsunayoushi turns around, there was something in his chest that felt heavy. It sounded a bit silly, but it felt like there was a piece of wood stuck in his heart. He could not wait to hear the rest of the story, there was something about it that made it seem so familiar. Perhaps, he read it when he was a child. Rediscovering what was lost.

When the two men approached the meeting room, Tsunayoushi is still in a ditzy daze, his happiness seeping through him because good things have been happening all day today.

" We are brought here together today because I needed to speak to you."

Kyouya places his hands on the desk, staring right at the others eyes.

" I have a couple of theories about our dreams and what the strange illusions we see are."

Tsunayoushi nods for the blows that were to come.

" Someone is lying to us." He says suddenly. " The Hibari Gardens, I was informed that they have not existed for over fifty years." Tsunayoushi turns pale and opened his mouth, but the other continues to speak. "That means our meeting did not happen. We do not exist. "

" What do you mean by 'our'-"

" I was the boy whole gave you your ball back."

Destiny begins to turn.

 


	7. Salmon

The conference room that the two men were seated in has glass windows with white blinds . A small table and chair in the middle with a chalk board at the side. The first thing that Tsunayoushi wanted to do as he stepped into the room , were to attain the chalk in his fingers and begin to doodle across the forest green board.

But now all he wanted to do was to step back and rethink everything that had happened the whole day.

" Hibari-san?" Tsunayoushi's voice wavered in shock. " But..." The mousy man looked at his shoes, as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. " Why didn't you say anything?"

The man in front of him folded his hands together. His elbows on the table. " That isn't important." He spoke in a deep monotone. " Do you not comprehend ? It's not possible that we have meet anytime prior to a few weeks ago. It's not possible because there were no gardens."

It was silent for a while, and then, ( with more confidence) Tsunayoushi speaks.

" My two eldest brothers have told me they remember the gardens ! I'm sure we've met! There were too many people that have seen the gardens for it to be an illusion . Or is it..." Kyouya looks at the small man in front of him, how he pursed his lips together in confusion. " A blind spot."

Kyouya does not know what the other meant by that, so he waits for the other to finish.

" A blind spot." Tsunayoushi repeats to himself once again. His eyes in a daze. " Now that you mention it, I don't really remember what happened next after you gave me my ball back. That whole memory, it's filled with blind spots." He pauses. " All of my memories are filled with blind spots."

Kyouya stares at the brown haired man when he places his head on the desk. Tsunayoushi looked like he had just given up. A defeat ( and all it left the older male was a bitter taste in his mouth).

" I can't tell what's real anymore."

" That's why we are here. To make sense of this." The man with charcoal hair begins to tap the desk lightly. " I have found myself in situations where I think I'm dreaming , no- I'm sure I'm dreaming. And it turns out I wasn't. And sometimes, I'm sure I'm awake, but I'm actually dreaming."

He begins to take out a black notebook, and opens it to a bookmarked page.

" Read this."

He flings the book in front of him, carelessly. Making Tsunayoushi fumble for the notebook a bit, and finally, placing it opened .

It only took a few minutes for his eyes to grow in a narrow stilt, the words already sinking into him and leaving behind their imprints. Like footprints on sand.

"I had this exact same dream, it was a little whiles back. I had no idea, that the person I was speaking to , was you." They shared a look, and it was that dream, that dream that Tsunayoushi had in which they both rode on the carousel, how it spun and how he couldn't see the others face on the bench. He remembered the conversation he had with Hibari, but just bits and pieces. Fragments.

There are blind spots.

_I'm going to die. And the only thing you are doing is prolonging it._

_And we're going in circles. You always tell me, 'Don't walk away from me.' But all I can ever tell you is 'I'm sorry.'_

_I'll never forget you I say, but that's not a white lie, all lies are never that color. They are black, and I just want you to know that 'I'm sorry'._

Then Tsunayoushi realized something, he gasped and looked at Hibari with bewilderment.

" Me and you, we had a promise made."

Kyouya crossed his arms over his chest.

" That much I did make sense of. Which means, we have met before. But as you say, it is removed, like a blind spot. We cannot see it. " Kyouya speaks firmly, but the hint of worry is on the edge of his sentences. " Sometimes I remember my past one way, sometimes another. So when that happens, I just choose what I want to remember. I assure, you-" He seems to be speaking to himself, for he was not looking at the other when he spoke, " I know the run in my mind."

The static and humming were back. It sounded like the white noise when you grab one of those old fashioned radios, placing the knobs in between the stations. The lights shut on and off, and every time the lights flashed, the windows began to drip black ink out of the edges.

" And this," Kyouya spoke with an aloofness that could only be him. He didn't seem to care that his shoes were being soaked in black ink, dyeing his previously white socks a dash of heather. Nor did he seem to care the panic that Tsunayoushi was showing. He had begun to scream frantically , grabbing the edges of his hair in anguish. His eyes skidded back and forth at the black sea ( more like pond) that had just formed. " Whenever this happens, I am sure it has something to do with our dreams. Everything does and have always been. It's reacting to something, since it only occurs when we are talking. It happens when I'm with others at times as well, but not as often as when I am with you."

When Tsunayoushi heard Kyouya's voice over the disorder, it seemed to sooth him and relax him. His chest breathing slowly and lightly.

" I know what I'm about to say may seem crazy Hibari-san-" Kyouya scoffs as if to say 'and this isn't?'.The mousy man grips the edges of his now floating chair that was bobbing up and down above the ink. The table going in circles. Papers and chalk were swimming around them, while Kyouya, Kyouya just sits on the hovering chair with his arms across his chest. They were now reaching the ceiling. " -but, have you ever read or watched science fiction films or novels ? Sometimes the characters go through something called the 'Space Time Continuum'. In high school, I remember my tenth grade teacher assigned us the book 'The Time Machine' by -"

" I know what it is Herbivore." Kyouya cuts in, the ink already at his neck while he was attempting to breath as much air as he could before it would consume him. The nerve of the herbivore to think of him as ignorant. He was Kyouya after all, his favorite subjects were Science, Physics and Literature. He inhaled Biology and it's terms and experiments. So, why did he chose to study law, he wonders. And that was what was wrong with him lately. He thought of the most tedious of things in all the wrong moments.

When the canvas of black liquid enveloped the two men, they were pleasantly surprised that the ink wasn't as dark as it seemed on the surface. It was transparent more than anything. It looked and felt like smoke.

Tsunayoushi swims toward the door ( because this time they cannot breath underwater(ink) ) and reaches for the doorknob. When he opened it, it wasn't the library. It was something else all together.

It was a garden.

A vast field of trees were all around him . Vines were swirled in all directions, making the area appear more whimsical and curious. There was a pond near the corner from where the door stood, birds were even perched on a peach tree. But what caught the young man's eyes weren't the tulips or spider lilies, it was the carousel in between the cultivated plants.

The carousel is the exact same one he has been seeing in his dreams since childhood. And all these small things, the good things, the painful things- they hurt his heart . Everything came into place, and he began to remember more things, things he forgot on accident, and things he forgot on purpose.

It was calling to him.

[  _Momento Mori_  ]

" Tsunayoushi!"

A firm grip was felt on his shoulder as he was being pulled back from the door. Tsunayoushi's hand reaches to touch the Carousel, but only succeeds on grasping the air. As soon as he gets pulled back, and with a blink, everything returned back to normal.

They were both gasping for breath, Kyouya on the floor on all fours, Tsunayoushi on the table trembling in fear.

"Herbivore." Kyouya spoke ferociously. " Why did you exit the room? You could get lost, you have no idea what would happen when it's like thi-" The carnivore stops in his tracks as his hair was dripping water, or maybe it was ink?

" Tsunayoushi," He says once more, softer and a bit more urgent. " This is getting more dangerous." But the concern wasn't for him ( it wasn't concern, that herbivore is just a nuisance since he is in a partnership with me at the moment) it was for the other who was on the desk quite shattered.

" When you disappeared into that other room, I had visions. I finally understand a bit, although it has only left me with more gaps and questions...The only thing for certain is just two things."

The man on the table had begun to shiver uncontrollably, his hair damp and moist.

" A-and what would they be?"

"We had a promised made," Kyouya murmured unblinking, his fingertips touching the end of his humid hair. " that, and I've always waited for you to be reincarnated."

Tsunayoushi turned around with wide eyes. His voice sounded small.

" What?"

A knock was heard on the window, continuous and annoying.

It was a women with long hair( it was light blue, mind you), she had a curious expression on her face. ( But she also seemed a bit peeved.)

Tsunayoushi straightened himself up, and quickly opened the door without much thought.

" H-hello." He smiled nervously, and waited for her to state her reason for knocking.

She began to pout, and crossed her arms. " I'm Bluebell, I'm a worker here at the library. I've been knocking on the door and windows for at least twenty minutes. They sent me here to tell you two that your time for the room is up. You've been in here for three hours."

Bluebell's voice seemed further and further away, he stopped listening and could only think ' three hours? Three hours? But it feels like we've been here for only thirty minutes.' He turned around to Hibari, who was now attempting to dry of his tie by compressing it. The water seeping on the carpet.

" The hell were you two doing in here for so long anyways?"

Kyouya gave her a dirty look, but did not say anything.

" Uhm," Tsunayoushi was never too good with lies, so he thought of the first thing he could come up with. " We were...doing exercise?" Which wasn't really a lie, more like a little white lie. By swimming , you could say they were doing exercise since it was an activity needing physical movement.

And it reminded him of his inability to produce lies, Reborn had always frowned upon that. 'What can you do,' Reborn would say 'If you can't even tell one good lie?'

'Lying is bad' The younger Tsunayoushi would always tell him . ' The people at church and mom and dad always tell me not to lie.' The teenager would smirk and back talk. ' What if this was for someone's own good? Lying could help protect someone physically and emotionally . Is that bad Tsunayoushi? Is all lying bad then?' And this only made Tsunayoushi cry because he didn't know how to answer the questions .

Bluebell rolled her eyes as she walked away. The small librarian's hair swaying as she did so. " Lame excuse , idiot. Pay the fine at the front desk. Byakuran will be sure to accommodate you."

When she said 'accommodate' it sounded like she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

* * *

" Tsu-chan? Oh look, it's my new best friend!"

Byakuran is literally leaping off the counter, jumping from one foot to the next. A fox ready to pounce.

Tsunayoushi smiles wearily, looking back at Hibari who's eyes looked ready to murder someone. He did not need any more energetic herbivores in his life.

The brown haired man decided he needed to end this fast.

"Y-yes," He took out his wallet, still in shock from what Hibari had just told him and what he had remembered. " I came here to pay the fine for going over the designated time on the waiting rooms."

The white haired male looked like he was half listening, like watching a television program that you darn well know that you'll be switching in 3-2-1-

" Oh , yeah? It's cool. You don't have to. Say Tsu-chan, you weren't lying, right? You're gonna come to the library every week for good, right?"

Byakuran spoke like a child, ready for fun and never for work. His eyes hopeful, but Tsunayoushi knew, that those eyes had anything but hope.

Since the moment he'd met him, he had been hearing small silent screams.

" Ahhh, of course. I don't like telling lies... uhm, are you sure you're going to let us go like this?" The brown haired male placed the wallet in his back pocket. " Won't you're manager get mad?"

The man's violet eyes smiled. " I am the manager, Tsu-chan." A gaping mouth. " In fact," Byakuran extended his arms, as if giving the air a heartfelt embrace. " Everything you see here, this library, the small gardens in the back, the parking spaces, the small corner stores at the edge of the library's street-it's all mine."

Tsunayoushi made his signature 'Hiiiiieeeeeee' sound, which made Byakuran's chest swell up in pride. While this exchange was going on , Hibari had already become bored and had begun to walk toward the exit of the library.

" Ah, I'm sorry Byakuran-san, I have to get going, we were discussing something important."

The white haired man waved him off.

"Okey-dokey Tsu-chan ! See you soon! It was very exciting to meet you-"

Tsunayoushi quickly bows, and begins to run after Kyouya ( who had already began to walk down the stairs.) Byakuran sees the smaller male off, how he ran outside and pushed the heavy doors wide open, how he calls the other male's name in annoyance.

All of these things made the owner of the library laugh because he knew how everything would end.

" It was very exciting to meet you Tsu-chan." Byakuran laughed as he took out a small notebook, writing things quickly and neatly. " Because It's not everyday that I meet a main actor."

When he had said this, a small pair of string appeared on his fingertips.

" This time, I wonder how the situation will differ from the rest. Is Reborn still going to be the one to kill you?"

His specimen was quite charming.

* * *

Giotto, Dino, and Reborn were in a small diner in the middle of downtown. They were having brunch au fresco, and enjoyed the light breeze as they ate their Italian cuisine. The silverware was of a white lacquer ( surely no-good Tsuna will like these, no doubt.) Reborn makes a note to ask the waiter if he could purchase a set.

Dino is in the middle of the elder men, he is quite tense and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck ( Something passed down by father to son, to smallest brother) and cuts his salmon in two. " I don't know why you two are so peeved." He ate a spoonful while looking up at Giotto, the eldest who drank a cup of tea. " Tsunayoushi just went out to have fun."

Giotto and Reborn both shared a look, and nodded together. On three, they both karate chopped Dino on the head, making his face collide with the table.

"Honestly," Giotto began " his elder brothers come visit him and he sneaks off to have fun without us?"

Reborn chuckled as he drank his coffee. " Not everything is about you Giotto, besides let's change the subject shall we? " His cold eyes turned toward Dino, and the blond knew, knew that Reborn would have him at his mercy in a few minutes. "Dino, over who's manipulations did you decide to stay over Tsuna's place?"

The blond did not look up at Reborn, he didn't even acknowledge him speak, just began to play with his fork.

" Giotto, was it?"

The eldest Sawada slammed his hand on the table and locked glares with Reborn. " What's so wrong about us staying over Tsunayoushi's house?"

Because you'll make him remember, Reborn thought. Because I put in so much effort for him to break away from all of you. Because I purposely made him distant from all of you, that's why, that's why.

" Tsunayoushi is becoming independent. He doesn't need someone to look after him twenty four seven."

Giotto laughed through his nose. " You are one to talk, you're the one there most of the time." He raised his hand for the tea, a quick an angry motion. " If anyone is bothering Tsunayoushi it is you. An inconvenience. "

" I may be there all the time, but, hmm, I wonder why?" Reborn mocked deep thought. His eyes felt like knives prickling skin." Oh, I know, because he's the head of the Vongola. I need to make sure he does his work right. My professional life is kept separate from my private life. And even though I'm there with him, I don't baby him. You should know that, I've never babied him. Showed favoritism, yes, but never lenience. "

" He's right Giotto," Dino began quietly. " If anything, Reborn was harder on Tsuna the most..." He looked up at his elder brother ( who he knew would murder him on the spot for taking sides) " He was always making Tsuna cry."

It was quiet for some time, the chatter and murmur of the other tables becoming louder and louder, Giotto merely placed his napkin on his lap.

" The only reason I'm here," Giotto spoke as if ashamed, making sure no one else would hear." Is to try to connect the rift that me and Tsunayoushi have. "

Reborn seemed thoughtful, concerned even( but it was all an act) his mind was smirking in triumph, The Giotto, The Giotto, is actually expressing himself in front of him. He had just won the battle.

" I only asked Dino to tag along because I needed some reassurance. I don't understand..." Giotto placed his chin on his arm. " Tsunayoushi was always the one that followed us, but now, it seems like it's the other way around. We used to be so close..what happened?"

The tinkering of a fork on a plate was heard.

" Maybe, Maybe little brother had enough of how everyone treated him, and grew to resent us."

When Dino had said this, Giotto's mind became a haze, and smoke seemed to appear at the corner of his eyes. And all he could remember or hear was a memory from long, long ago.

The small tTunayoushi's voice, when he was five and sounded like a sweet innocent child was the only thing that he could hear, and he was saying such sad things.

' I was in pain back then, why didn't you side with me then Big brother Giotto? Why did you let them do that, Giotto? '

Reborn merely blinked disinterestedly at the men in front of him, he gazed back in forth in between the two brothers and decided he had to get them out of Tsunayoushi's apartment fast. He was about to speak, but was interrupted by Giotto.

The tea was releasing small fumes. " You know, I've always resented how much he trusts you."

It went through Reborn like bullet holes, He trusts you, trusts you. The dark haired man swallowed something in his throat and spoke.

" As do I."

" You know," Dino tried to break apart the mood ( now that he was certain they weren't arguing anymore) " Out of all of us Tsuna looks like our mom the most."

Reborn smirked. " He was meant to be a woman then."

Instead of accepting this goodnaturedly , Giotto merely sighed. " He would bring more trouble that's for sure. We'd all have to fend the suitors off with a pitchfork."

Reborn imagined how many people he'd have to shoot on a day by day basis.

Dino laughed. " Tsunayoushi looks like a mixture between Giotto and mom , if that's possible. He has her personality but none of yours. Grazie Dios! "

The eldest brother smiled a mature smile, It was the big brother personality that looked after everyone, they knew that Giotto more than the tyrant one. " I'm glad for that. I think that with his personality, it's exactly what the Vongola needs. I just know that he will do great things someday ."

"But of course," Rebon said carelessly, taking a slight sip of his red wine. " He's your legacy."

Giotto seemed to be struck by that, since his lips parted, and his eyes widened a teensy amount. Like a teaspoon of sugar to be exact.

"What do you mean by that?"

The dark haired man with even darker eyes, is quick on his feet, just as well as his mouth.

" Nothing, all I'm saying is that you know Dino wont do anything great in the world."

The said blond stopped in between a bite from his salmon to cry in indignation.

" Heyyyyy. "

Giotto does not buy it, so he keeps waiting for Reborn to continued. He sighs.

" Just like you've contributed many changes to the Vongola so will he, he's going to give the Vongola a good name is all. "

The blue eyed man raises an eyebrow.

"I don't like the tone you used to say that."

"If everyone had a problem with my tone there would be more wars, Giotto."

The eldest Sawada begins to cut his ham with extreme precision, making sure it staid on his plate not touching the other food. He raises his gaze and looks at Reborn only, a warning.

"Now Reborn I know you and Xanxus's group are in charge of the shady part of this business." By that he meant the killings, kidnap, murder, assassinations to better the company.. " But don't you dare add Tsunayoushi into it, don't even inform him of it. We wouldn't want him to get hurt."

Reborn raised his cup of wine into the sun, the red turned a bit lighter, like cherry or a pomegranate tint .

"Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

Yamamoto lived at least twenty minutes away from Tsunayoushi. He did not live in an apartment, he lived in a house. Granted, he didn't care where he lived , an apartment was acceptable to him. But his father once told him, he shouldn't get an apartment, he should get a house, because it would be all his. He remembered a few weeks ago when he invited Gokudera and Tsuna to his place to watch 'Tales of The Crypt'. It was just like old times.

He sat down on his couch and reached for his house phone. He was going to call his father, for he wanted some clarification on somethings. Chrome's words have haunted him since Dino's birthday party, what did she mean when she had told them all those things? So that means, Yamamoto thought, I haven't remembered everything completely.

Whenever he was going through some rough times, or when he needed some encouragement he always called his father. It had always been that way since he was small.

He remembers, this one time during High School that he was contemplating suicide. He had broken his arm during a baseball practice. ( Back then, Baseball was the world to him, the feeling of his sneakers on dirt and the sweat gleaming down his cap was pure bliss, it was all that he could ask for. ) When he had injured his arm, the coach asked him to sit out on the next week's games until he had recovered fully. But Yamamoto knew that the upcoming games were the championships, all his hard work and passion went down the drain, he was filled with despair, he couldn't even express himself well; so he did the only thing he could do and tried to jump from the roof of Namimori High .

He walked all the way to the roof of the school and merely stared down at the parking lot beneath him . Everything seemed so close, the cars seemed like small ants in an aligned pace . When he was about to jump he remembered when he talked to his father about his suicidal thoughts ( If I can't play baseball I'll just die. )

If Yamamoto were to go through with what he had wanted to do and committed suicide, his father let him know all of his loved ones and friends would have to bear the weight of his decision.

Could he really be that selfish? Cold he really leave back cups of tears?

He took a first step, but he didn't go through with the second one. Confused as to why he was sprawled on the ground of the roof rather than on the pavement he looked at the small pair of hands on his waist. Tsunayoushi's voice was the last thing he remembered.

" Don't jump Yamamoto, Please, don't jump. I want to stay with you. "

He was pretty sure, if Tsunayoushi didn't need him he would have jumped.

His father picked up the phone in the third ring.

" Hey, son! How are you doing?"

" Hey, Pops, I'm doing fine. How about you?"

The conversation began about the usual things. How the family restaurant was going, how Yamamoto managed with all the baseball teams he had to produce and merchandise, those sorts of things. But the real reason why Yamamoto called was to get any sort of information that his father had on his childhood. Small things that he didn't quite catch .

" Hey pops, when I was small, was I scared of anything?"

There was a pause and a chuckle heard over the receiver.

" Ah, There was one thing, but why so curious on it?"

" I saw this one kid scared of the elevator last time I went with Tsuna to the zoo , and it made me think if I was scared of things like that when I was younger." That wasn't a lie, it actually did happen.

"For some reason whenever we took ya to the carnival you'd start by alright," Tsuyoushi's raspy voice could be heard over the phone, how it sounded wise and tired at the same time. "- but whenever you'd pass by the carousel you'd cry and shake your head. Like pleading me to get far away from it. I didn't think much of it cause kids get scared over things like that. Sometimes it isn't even logical, like me, I was scared of birds." Yamamoto by this point stood erect and on alert. Carousel ?"One day I forced you to get on it, cause I thought that by getting on it your fear would subside. I made you get on it once and you did not stop crying."

"I felt a bit bad after that, I mean you seemed absolutely terrified, I don't know. Did you get hurt in a Carousel or anything, is what I thought? Or maybe you saw some sort of horror movie about it? None of these things made sense to me cause you were always such a brave kid. You were the type to welcome scary things and you even went on ghost hunts. And-"

Yamamoto did not know why, but the moment his father had retold him everything, all the memories started to come back. Just that moment, that moment in time where his father pushed him onto the seat of the plastic Koi fish on the carousel. How the ride spun and how his tears clouded his vision that afternoon.

Yamamoto had to speak with Gokudera soon.

* * *

The train ride back to the apartment was in silence. The two men sat shoulder to shoulder as the train seemed to trip over the train tracks. Both were physically and emotionally exhausted to speak about everything they remembered and thought. ( They didn't know how to form the words, how to start.)

" If your dreams had been bothering you so much, why didn't you go to the doctor?" Kyouya asked this question because he didn't know exactly why he hadn't done the same thing. He also does this to begin the conversation, wanting to clarify things.

" Well, because they might think I'm crazy." Tsunayoushi's hands were in his lap, the train going slowly up and down. " But if they did believe me, think about what might happen to me. They might see me as a test subject, and I'll be sent to a research lab to be tested upon. I can' t take that. I just want to be free. " Tsunayoushi squeezed his palms. " I wouldn't want to be locked up in a place like that."

Kyouya then noticed that Hibird and Tsunayoushi both had something in common, both did not belong in cages.

And just like the way he disposed of his bird's white cage, he also vowed to take Tsunayoushi's away. But it was strange, he felt as if he had said his in his mind time and time again.

Right at that moment some man walked into the station, playing his radio just a little bit too loud. It was pleasant that was for sure, it was some sort of English music. Kyouya was about to express his displeasure, when he saw the herbivore tapping his foot and humming to the music.

" You like English music?" Kyouya even surprised himself with the question.

" Oh," Tsunayoushi blinked. " Well, I like all sorts of music, it's just that this is Reborn's taste, he has this song on a record."

Kyouya nodded.

" I was always the sort of person that teachers would forget my name. I'd always be with Yamamoto, Gokudera or even Mukuro. Alone in the library or hearing Reborn's classical records. He likes instrumental, opera, those sorts of things, the only thing that shows some variety is classical rock. He really likes classical rock."

The charcoal haired man continues to stare at the window in front of him, the scenery quickly evaporating like water color.

"Who is Reborn to you?"

That question again.

"I call him my uncle, but he's really my godfather."

"You speak about him a lot."

An observance and nothing more.

"Reborn is always thinking of me and I'm always thinking of him. That's just how it works." Tsunayoushi smiles a calm smile, the sort of smile you would see in a coffin.

"How does it feel," Kyouya spoke in a low tone, his hair covering his steel eyes. " -to have that sort of relationship? '

The mousy man does not falter in his response, but he does contemplate long and hard in a way to describe it perfectly, but the only way he could phrase it was to say -

"You feel less alone."

Tsunayoushi continues to speak.

"When you told me that you've been waiting for me to reincarnate, I didn't know whether to believe in that. But I mean, how can I not believe in it? " His eyebrows become furrowed. "There have been so many things happening that I can't explain with logic."

He looks up to lock eyes with Kyouya, who looked one part angry and one part frustrated.

" I didn't know how else to word that, that I've been waiting for you to be reincarnated." Kyouya pauses and looks at the other delicately. " I don't know why I used that word , because it's not the same meaning . I've just ..been waiting for you to appear in _this_  life. That's all."

" Isn't that what it means? Reincarnation."

"No, " Kyouya spoke firmly. "  _That's not it at all._ "

Whatever this is," the brown haired man's eyes skidded across the room to see where the music came from. " I know you wouldn't like waiting for me."

" Reincarnation makes me angry because it implies that we don't have any choice in what we do." These words Kyouya spoke with repugnance. " Everything anyone ever did is justified because he was meant to do it? If I were to kill a man, it would mean I did so because I couldn't help it?" The rain continued to hit the windows. "That line of thinking just doesn't make any sense. I have free will."

He wanted the man next to him to start believing in his words, he wanted Tsunayoushi to turn with that smile of his and say 'You are right! You are absolutely right!' But as always , the other man would be his foil in just about everything.

"Does it matter?" Tsunayoushi murmured, playing a small piano piece in his mind. " You do things because you do. Does it really matter if they were determined that you would do them or not. I think we should be just glad that we're living."

" That's not really living."

The rain stopped.

" You know, that reminds me of something I said, but I don't remember when I've said it. I remembered it when we were drowning in the ink. " They both stepped out of the train and into the platform , they were at their stop. " If this reincarnation thing is true, then basically all the dreams we have are memories , and what we're remembering are our past lives."

Kyouya opens his mouth to retort with a fierce argument but Tsunayoushi raises a finger.

" I remember I said , 'In order to know death you must first live. In order to know life you must first die. In order to know death, you must first die.' "

The man with the small boom box walked in between them, going up on the elevator, a small piece of lyrics could be heard.

'We didn't start the fire, its been always burning since the world's been turning.'

When Kyouya heard what Tsunayoushi had said, he remembered, he remembered bieng spoken to with the exact same words. And he pictures himself in a forest, dressed as a knight in shining armor, Tsunayoushi next to him with an attire as a prince.

The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts.

But that image of the forest quickly disappeared, and it changed to Tsunayoushi in different periodical clothing, small English boy clothing, traditional Japanese, traditional Chinese clothing like he saw that one man wear in Tsunayoushi's idiot brother's birthday party-all with the same words being said to him.

"I have to believe in free will; I have no choice. " Tsunayoushi said as the static, the white noise appeared once again. Making them appear to be the two only human beings on earth.

A spark was lit.

Kyouya began to wobble just a little bit, his whole head felt like a sword was being pulled through it. A clear vision filled his mind, a witch some sort of witch, crystal balls, tarot cards, voodoo magic, and weeping willows.

" Hibari-san, are you alright? Hibari-san!"

When Hibari looked up, blood began to pour through his mouth, his hands being stained by the lovely reds.

" Tsunayoushi," he coughed, blood fell on the platform dying the white a light pink. Tsunayoushi held on to the darker male with clenched hands, both on the floor and quite disturbed. " The Carousel, it's turning."

But the glow of their memories were far too weak.


	8. Second Act-Hyper Aesthesia

The blood emitted from the charcoal haired man's mouth, dying his suit in lovely reds, moist and damp. Tsunayoushi restrained Kyouya by holding him in a worried embrace. Thinking and becoming alarmed of the warning. That the carousel was turning and they could not do anything to stop it. What's going on? The reds continued to drip onto the platform leaving back stains on the marble floor.

Kyouya stood up, his knees giving out as he kicked the other man's chest causing Tsunayoushi to wince in pain.

"Unhand me."

Hibari Kyouya did not need anyone to help him. He could stand up on his own two feet. He was a carnivore. He blinked, and he was no longer bleeding, the dazed weakness that he felt was no longer there. He was as normal as day, the crowd on the train station's platform all quite busy and crowding around him. The static had gone away.

" Hibari-san."

The herbivore in front of him had his pupils dilated, attempting to enunciate words that flew out in stutters. The herbivore was not staring at the carnivore in front of him, he was staring at something in back of the taller man. Tsunayoushi was in a spellbind.

Kyouya takes two steps forward ( for he is never the one to take steps back) and turns his head in back of him.

It was a clock in mammoth size that the herbivore was staring at. It was in the middle of the platform for all the convenience of the passengers. But now this clock did not just tell time, it told a revelation. It made the carnivore's eyes widen (not in shock) but in anger. His eyes becoming wild like a bull who had just saw the red flash of the Matador, the thrill of the kill. Kyouya's hands reached for his tonfas and shown them menacingly, scaring off everyone that had crowded around him and left him with more than enough personal space.

It was only 3:00 P.M. They had boarded the train to take them back to their apartments at 4:00P.M. They had gone back one hour.

Which means that they had never taken the train prior. The train ride did not happen.

There are blind spots.

* * *

The walk to the apartment was a quiet one. The sky was threatening with rainfall and the wind was a bit chilly. Tsunayoushi did not even attempt to break the silence when they left the station.  _Hibari-san is confused,_  he thought. But then again so was he, here he was not knowing between reality and dreams in the city that was made of pretty sharp things . What had just happened? Time was never wrong, time was absolute.

He could still see the invisible stains of Hibari-san's blood on his hands and remembers the fright he had felt when he'd seen the proud man like that. It wasn't like Hibari-san to bleed. It made him more human.

It had begun to rain.

Tsunayoushi wished that the rain fall would hit him hard and wash away his troubles along with time and all his dreams. Then they would dissolve into water and go into the sewers where he would not see them.

He stopped walking and bumped into the man in front of him.

" I-I'm sorry Hi-Hibari-san. I wasn't looking where I was going and—"

The man looked at him like a commander who had been at war, a general ( because he had never expected less than that from Hibari-san) and told him in the voice that dared the other to question him. The taller man emphasized each word carefully, perhaps he was doing this because of the loud rain or perhaps he was only doing it to make himself believe they were true. Kyouya spoke with such strong words.

" This. Can't. Be. My. Life."

Tsunayoushi is struck. He is struck with the way Kyouya seems to bite, and snap, and growl with his eyes. The way he clenches his fists so hard he was afraid they would crack like glass.

The mousy man frowned .

" Hibari-san, I think we should talk about this elsewhere."

They two of them stood in front of the apartment building soaked to the bone, the rain still dropping on them like bombs .

" No," Kyouya bites back. " We have to talk about this now."

" We will both catch colds."

" Only herbivores catch colds."

Tsunayoushi sighed but cannot quarrel with the man. He had to give him this.

" When you bled, I became frightened."

Kyouya's eyes became calm .

" I don't know why but the only thing I could think about was you."

The rain had calmed a bit, a lot less angry and felt like Yamamoto ( Tsunayoushi suddenly felt more confident).

"Why were you frightened?" Kyouya knew the answer already but he had wanted to hear it. It disgusted him.

" I don't know." Tsunayoushi looked to the sky and the rain left marks on his face like tears. " If only you know how terrified I am."

Grey eyes are still glued toward brown ones.

" I do not know what being terrified is."

" Were you not terrified or even filled with sorrow for having to leave Namimori?"

The sound of rain was heard.

" I know less of what sorrow is."

This time Kyouya looked up to the sky and pondered on why was it, that the sky in the city and in Namimori looked the same ( Not that he would ever admit it). It was the same sky.

" I think you do know ."

A car passed quickly, splashing some water on the pavement.

"You know nothing."

Their eyes collided once again.

"Hibari-san do you eat a lot because you want to be too full to swallow sorrow?"

A part of Kyouya, the subconscious one wanted to go and kill the man right there and leave him in a state of no return. There was a seeping resentment for Tsunayoushi, and if this was reincarnation of some sort ( even if Kyouya had made sure it wasn't) then the mousy man in front of him deserves what was coming to him. On impulse, Kyouya charged at the other as the downpour splashed on them. Tsunayoushi's back was on the ground as the elder man stood on top of him , chocking him with his calloused hands. It all happened so fast.

Tsunayoushi grasped for air but did not attempt to stop the other.

" The Carousel," Hibari began. " I saw it only a few times in my dreams and it has never turned. It has always been small and the size of a snow globe, playing a ridiculous tune from those French films. But in that time when I bled, it turned. Someone has wound it and I do not comprehend what that means, but all I know is that I detest it with every fiber of my being ."

The grip on the others neck was still strong, but as if it had never happened, Kyouya stands up, abruptly, and walks to the door of the apartment. Tsunayoushi begins to cough and breath in all the air that he was depraved of, attempting to snort out all the water that accumulated in his nostrils.

" I will search for any Carousels around this city. I will attempt to stop whatever 'this' is before it escalates any further." In the corner of Kyouya's eyes he stares at Tsunayoushi in the rain. " Idiotic herbivore, why didn't you fight back?"

He knew the answer to this question too.

" Because," Tsunayoushi's voice sounded hoarse. " I wouldn't mind dying by your hand."

_I always die in my dreams,_  Kyouya remembers the herbivore telling him. And he scoffs, and then he begins to laugh. A laugh that sounded like murder. Why is it, why is that this pitiful creature is so predictable?

_That stupidity will get you killed someday._

" You're pathetic."

The mousy man's wobbly knees give out as soon as he attempts to stand up, like a little baby duck attempting to walk. He does not respond to the others insults and only tells him-

" Since I've met you , I always felt that you have been searching for something you don't have. Maybe it has something to do with all of 'this'." By 'this' he meant the dreams, the strange lapses of time, the rain that seemed to leave them bare and cold. " I hope-" An intake of breath, a voice muted just a tiny bit because of the cry of the rain and thunder, " -that you'll find what you're looking for ."

_I hope you do, because since I was born I knew that I never will._

And Hibari only shows the view of his back the whole time. He closes the door behind him, but couldn't help take two steps back to see if the younger man managed to get back up and was on his way to the door.

* * *

Mukuro is brushing his cobalt hair when he hears a a knock on his sister's apartment door. He had slept over the other day, for the reason that both had to finish some documents for a meeting . He tied his hair with black lace as he opened the door.

" Welcome, Takeshi-kun. What a surprise."

Yamamoto looked a bit tired but grinned as he waved. A pink box was extended toward the Italian male.

"I brought a peace offering , hahaha."

" What a delight." Mukuro clutched the bottom of the box , balancing as he opened the door for the guest. " Now to what do we owe the pleasure, Takeshi-kun? If you wanted to discuss something with me you should have just phoned me."

The man with the hetero-chromatic eyes extends a gloved hand towards the furniture in the living room. 'Sit', they seemed to say.

" Actually," Yamamoto sat on a velvet chair next to the water tank filled with lotus flowers . " I came here to talk to Chrome-chan."

Before Mukuro could question as to why the Japanese man would want to talk to his Chrome, his sister walks in as if she heard the man call her name.

" Takeshi-kun." She says softly. They share a mutual understanding with their looks and she looks up to her brother delicately. " Mukuro-sama, weren't you going to visit Boss today? I talked to him ten minutes ago, he seemed a little sad. Maybe you should go and comfort him."

Mukuro looks at the two people in the room, and after a small internal battle puts on his coat. " Maybe I shall."

He grabs his wallet by the small table near the door, the place where Chrome has a photograph of them as children. Him, her and Tsunayoushi. Chrome held hands with Tsunayoushi and Mukuro had his arm around the brown haired boy's shoulders as well. His chin resting on the others head ( Tsunayoushi had always been short). They were dressed in their best clothing.

" Be good."

* * *

When Tsunayoushi arrived at the house he was assaulted with question after question. Why are you soaking wet? What did that man do to you? Tsunayoushi, look at me when I'm talking to you!

" Yes, big brother Giotto?" Tsunayoushi is shirtless, drying off the water that had accumulated in his shirt. The water fell onto the drain of the kitchen sink.

" What..what happened to you Tsunayoushi-kun?" Concern laced the elder's voice. " You're soaking wet." Giotto grabbed a napkin from the counter and began to dab his smaller brother's face with it.

" Nothing happened." Tsunayoushi stepped away from his eldest brother's touch like it burned him. " I just forgot my umbrella is all. And Reborn? Where is Reborn?"

_'It's always Reborn with you, isn't it?'_ Giotto faces the refrigerator to pour himself a glass of orange juice. Tsunayoushi had squeezed it fresh in the morning. He would make the perfect housewife, and that worried the elder male.

" He went to the convenience store with Dino and Xanxus."

Tsunayoushi nodded, So Xanxus  _did_  come back after all. He turns away politely and walks to his room, the wet shirt now damp. Giotto decides to be a little more talkative and follows him .

" Don't you think it is peculiar how we differ from our mannerisms due to our upbringing? You spent most of your childhood in Japan, and I for the majority of the time, have always been in Italy. Tell me, Tsunayoushi-kun, why have you always disliked going to visit Father's family?"

The two men were now in Tsunayoushi's room. The younger had already changed into an oversized sweater ( Which obviously wasn't his) and a pair of nice pajama pants. And that also worried Giotto, how Tsunayoushi could just change his clothing in front of just about anyone. He was too trusting.

"Uhm," The brown haired man begins to comb his damp hair and turns on the hair dryer that he received as a gift from Gokudera. " To be honest...they have always intimidated me."

There was a heavy cloud in the room and the elder brother decided not to push it. Just talking calmly like this was progress.

" Little brother, that is my sweater ." Amusement was in the elder man's voice, he said this while he played with the small trinkets in front of his younger brother's mirror stand. There was that perfume that Dino had given Tsunayoushi for Christmas, and there was that necklace that Giotto had given the youngest for his eighteenth birthday.

There was nothing but memories in this room.

"Oh, do you want it back?"

An elegant grin.

"No, it's fine. Maybe you'll grow into it someday."

"Hey!-" Before Tsunayoushi could defend his masculinity, his cellphone began to ring. He scurries off to the mirror-stand looking for his phone. He turns to his brother. "Ah, excuse me." Giotto waves him off. " Hello Chrome-" And Tsunayoushi escapes to the living room.

Giotto smiled and gave the other some privacy , it was about time that his little brother had gotten himself a girlfriend. Chrome, that was Mukuro's sister wasn't she? He approved. Tsunayoushi needed someone that wasn't overbearing. Not someone like him and Reborn , he thought sadly. All through his life he always witnessed how hard others were on his smaller brother. As a child it saddened him to see the youngest cry, so oftentimes he would work harder to impress everyone else around him. By doing so, he thought that it would direct all the attention to him, that they would criticize him instead. It didn't work that way.

He sighs and shakes the weight of guilt off him,stands up, and steps on something soft on the floor. It was a stuffed toy lion that Tsunayoushi had since they were children ( he still has it?) , Giotto remembers he had won it for him in a claw machine in the super market. It was a day when their parents were taking a small couples vacation and had left Reborn in charge. He remembers that day clearly, like how water is transparent in a bottle. He remembers because that was when Tsunayoushi began to hate him. ( He just knew it.)

Smoke appears again, an eerie feeling but Giotto doesn't care-not when he is too busy remembering the past. He remembers the events like an old movie projector, nostalgic and blurry.

" Why did you let them do that big brother Giotto?"

Tsunayoushi was seven years old at the time. The little boy hid underneath the jungle gym, where all the sand was. He is silently crying with scratches and bruises. There was dirt on the edges of his mouth, not to mention his clothes and shoes.

Preadolescent Giotto is scared, but does not show it. He couldn't speak , he could only stare at what the children at the park did to his smaller brother.

"I'm sorry Tsunayoushi," It was the first thing he could think of. " I didn't know they would hurt you like this. I should have never left you here by yourself." The blond haired boy had become quite bored taking care of Tsunayoushi, for the younger could not play so roughly . So when some other boys his age asked him to play soccer, Giotto accepted, ordering Tsunayoushi to 'stay put'.

He didn't want things to have ended like this.

Tsunayoushi did not move, he just continued to cry . And every time he hiccuped as he sobbed , Giotto began to see himself as a failure . Why was it that the easiest things are the hardest to do?

Giotto heard small mumbling.

"Tsunayoushi? I can't hear you."

The mumbling grew louder but still not decipherable.

" Please speak up-"

"They made me eat dirt." The brown haired boy looked ashamed, his two hands placed in his lap, his eyes downcast.

Without thinking , Giotto looks at the other boy in horror and says the first thing that comes to his mind ( because when you are young you don't understand how things can hurt) . He should have phrased it more differently, emphasizing that he meant to  _describe_  the situation.

"That's disgusting."

The little boy is disappointed and hurt, he thought  _'of course big brother Giotto looks down on me'_. Just because they were brothers didn't mean they were the same. Tsunayoushi looked at his hands covered in dirt, the taste of the earth still in his teeth. He looks at his elder brother who's nose is wrinkled and eyes filled with pity and disgust.

When the two brothers walk home, Tsunayoushi refuses to hold the others hand and never looks Giotto in the eye again. Even when Tsunayoushi is older, he refuses to let old habits die, he continues to be wary of his family . Although over time, he will forget why or when this occurred.

* * *

When the elder brother returned with Tsunayoushi, Reborn greets them with gnarled teeth . He raises his hand, and slaps Giotto across the face. It stung.

**_" I told you to watch him!"_ **

* * *

Giotto just stares at the floor as smoke appears , although this time it was a different color. A light gold that enveloped him in the blanket called regret.

In the next room Tsunayoushi has the phone between his shoulder and ear as he mixes batter and lettuce.

Chrome was on the other side of the receiver.

" -I was wondering if we could schedule the dinner to this Saturday rather than on Wednesday. A meeting for the Mist was announced in such short notice. I hope it isn't any trouble."

"Ah, no problem." He places some green onions to the mix. " Ah, at what time would you like for me to be there?"

"Would it be convenient for you to come at 7 P.M.?"

"Yes, thank you!" Just then he remembered his engagement on Wednesday, back to the library and that mysterious man named Byakuran. He sighs, a very heavy sigh that implied many things on the receiver. None of them good.

_How would she react,_  he thought,  _if I told her I think I'm going crazy?_

"Is something wrong boss?" Chrome's cotton voice was laced with concern. " You seem a bit tired."

The brown haired man was silent for a while , Chrome's eyes glistened and her mouth parted because she was on the edge of her seat. Did Boss remember by himself?  _Does Boss finally remember?_ She waits for the man on the other side of the line to break the silence.

"Chrome," He began. It must be important, she thought, for he did not add an honorific to her name. " Can I talk to you about something?" He asks this in his usual apprehensive voice. "- but promise me that you won't speak of it to anyone?"

She tries her hardest not to smile.

"I have never told your secrets to anyone Boss."

She could just imagine his embarrassed face, how his hands would tremble and move frantically.

"I-I-I w-w-wasn't doubting you o-or anything!"

"I know."

Comfortable silence.

"Things like secrets should be said face to face, Mukuro-sama has always advised me this." If Boss had remembered, a miracle would take place . " You should arrive earlier to my house, that way we can chat in private."

Not that he wouldn't mind speaking to Mukuro about what was going on ( since he knew a lot of what he dreamt ),but he wanted Chrome's advice since they were both much alike.

"Thank you Chrome," His grip on the phone relaxed. " It means a lot to me."

"I hope you sleep well boss."

* * *

After Tsunayoushi sees Reborn's tall physique at the doorway , he could breath again. He walks up toward his godfather, much like a child greeting their parent to come back from work.

" Reborn-"

A hand cut him off.

" Don't Reborn me, no good Tsuna ." Dino shuts the door behind him with an apologetic look ( You're gonna get it!) , accompanied by Xanxus that had three bottles of Alcohol in his hands( it was probably the most strong, too) . "You said you would be back by lunch and what time is it now?"

Tsunayoushi opens his mouth to say something but his words die by his elder brother's voice.

" I thought you said you didn't baby him." Giotto's voice sounded nonchalant yet venomous at the same time. He was seated underneath the kotatsu table filing documents.

" I don't." Smirked Reborn. "I just don't like him lying to me."

"I didn't mean to lie Reborn!" The brown haired man clapped both of his hands together in a plead for forgiveness. " Time just had a mind of it's own today..."  _Literally,_  he thought. " Please don't be mad, I'm making Okonomiyaki today!"

Dino's eyes sparkled and in hopes of loosening his brother's sentence, interjects in good humor . " Awww, man. You're trying to make me fat, bro."

Xanxus laid the alcohol out on the kitchen counter. " Hurry it up Trash. I want pork on mine." He puts his leather boots on the Kotatsu table much to the annoyance of Giotto.

Reborn crossed his arms. " You're still getting punished. Tomorrow in the morning you have to do twenty situps and run five laps around the apartment buildings."

"HIEEEEEEE!"

The man with the onyx eyes decides to have more fun with the smaller man. "Want to make it ten? You're walking on a tightrope ." Tsunayoushi begins to pout as Reborn takes off his fedora, placing it on Tsunayoushi's head. " Hurry it up with the Okonomiyaki, I want mine Hiroshima style."

Dino laughs and decides to help his smaller brother set the dishes on the table.

"But I'm going to have to cook the noodles from scratch!"

"Exactly, get to it. What are you waiting for?"

The banter between the two border-lined comical ( but in reality it was heartwarming) so Giotto taps Tsunayoushi lightly on the shoulder. "I'll help you Tsunayoushi, it's too much for you to do by yourself."

Just by hearing those words ' _it's too much for you'_ , Tsunayoushi stands on his own two feet and dashes to the kitchen. "No! It's fine!" He begins to kneed the dough with his fingers.

Giotto looked at his hands and slowly at Tsunayoushi's back. "I just wanted to help." He said to himself.

* * *

"I've come for an alliance." Yamamoto told Chrome this over some tea. " I gave a lot of thought over what you told us on the balcony the other day. I mean, how do I know that trusting Reborn is the right choice? I can't tell what he's thinking half the time. And besides, you are also doing this for your brother. You wouldn't want him to get hurt."

Chrome sighs, it was one of relief. Gokudera may have been the smarter of the two in education and all that, but when it came to life Yamamoto was by the far the most capable one. He had something akin to intuition in his gut.

" I'm happy that we're both in the same page now. I'm sure Boss will be much happier this way, remembering instead of living in ignorance. In the end," She looked at the color of her tea. A light orange. " We both are trying to get the same thing."

Yamamoto nods.

"I'm just rain you know?" He turns to Chrome laughing. " I'm rain for Tsuna cause I'm just falling for him." He laughs harder. "Gosh, that sounded corny right? What do I know? I'm just a country boy y' know? But it's not the sort of love like 'I want to make a baby with you' sort of thing. It's more like I just want to be with him forever. Like a family. That's all."

"Well then," Chrome smiles. " I guess we feel the same way."

"No we don't." Yamamoto said all knowingly. His eyes were warm, and he seemed more like the owner of the Rain than Yamamoto Takeshi. "You love Tsuna in the way I never should."

Chrome does not say anything but look at the floor. The light of the aquarium gave off a neon light.

"You made the right decision." Is what she said. It was the only thing she said.

And Yamamoto sighs and says, "I hope so."

* * *

"We're going to my branch of the Vongola next week."

Tsunayoushi looks at the person who spoke,-Xanxus. The man with the deep eyes does not even look up as he speaks, he just continues to devour the food in front of him.

"The Varia?" The brown haired man hopes he pronounced the name right.

Xanxus stabs the thick Okonomiyaki and swirls it around the plate with the sauce and vegetables.

"W-will Belphagor and Furan be there?" He had met them enough to know it would be in his bests interests to associate with them as little as possible. Giotto's eyebrows are raised ( but just a bit) and Dino had a confused look on his face. Why would Xanxus take Tsunayoushi there? Sure, he was appointed the president of the Vongola, but Xanxus had never ,ever invited anyone to his headquarters before. How peculiar.

Xanxus snorts. "They work there don't they?"

"Will Squalo at least be there?" Tsunayoushi felt more comfortable with the long haired man there. Even though Squalo was loud, he was very dependable. He remembered once in a family reunion , Xanxus and his lackeys caused a whole elevator to go up in flames. While everyone was frightened, Squalo placed the responsibility on himself ( cursing all the while) to put out the flames. It left a deep impression on Tsunayoushi, that silver haired male with buckets of water, punching out the firemen who attempted to help

. His thoughts were dispersed when he heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it." Dino offers.

It was Mukuro.

"Mukuro-kun , thanks for stopping by."

Mukuro's boots collided with the wooden floor, Tsunayoushi 's faces twisted in distaste as the hetero-chromatic man chuckled.

"Kufufu,my apologies." His lips formed an artful smirk. "You know how difficult it is for me and these Japanese customs." He bent down to one knee as he took of his leather boots.

"But you've been living here for seven years!"

The man with the mismatched eyes placed his boots neatly at the entrance.

"On and off my dear, On and off."

" How would you like to join us for dinner?"

When presented with the proposal, Mukuro mock curtsied ( like a prince to a princess). Tsunayoushi laughed.

"That would be lovely."

* * *

Mukuro had a long conversation with Tsunayoushi, but the brown haired male does not want to think of it right now. He is sure it will resonate with him sometime later this week. He waves the other man goodbye as he takes his leave.

The rest of the evening consisted of alcohol and mafia films.

" What are you thinking about little brother?" Dino asks Tsunayoushi this when he notices the dis-focused look in the others eyes.

"Well, I think that I'm dreaming right now." He knew that no one in the room could possibly know what he was talking about. They did not know the importance of his words. " That's the only reason no one in this world can become immortal. When you die, you' l l wake up. Then you can be immortal when you go back to whatever world you're supposed to be in. But as long as you're in this one, you just have to keep on living until you wake up."

He looked at everyone else in the room and their expressions. Dino and Giotto seemed surprised for the most part, it wasn't everyday that their smallest brother spoke like this so freely. ( They did not want to admit it, but they were never quite sure just what was going on in Tsunayoushi's mind most of the time.) They were sure, it was the small tid of alcohol that made his tongue slip. And Xanxus ? Xanxus paid no attention as he finished another bottle.

Reborn's eyes flicker from underneath his fedora, his eyes looked like black cats. Filled with mystery and something of a jungle fever. He just stares at Tsunayoushi who turned his head toward Xanxus ( who had now begun to eat all the leftovers). He continues to stare at the small, mousy man for what seemed like an eternity and right when he was to get off his seat,( he did not know what he was doing, but his feet moved on their own) - someone pushes him.

A fierce yet cold push.

Reborn on the floor looks up at the one who had pushed him, and sees Giotto. Giotto standing above him with a confused expression on his face, looking at his hand curiously as if he had never seen them before in his life.

Dino, ( the only sober person in the room) is a bit frightened.

" Excuse me, " Giotto said. He said this in a normal tone, looking at Reborn's onyx eyes. " I don't know what came over me."

Reborn did not say anything for a while ( and Dino knew that in that moment he was thinking devious things on how to get back at the other) and finally says ," It's fine."

* * *

"I didn't like the way he was looking at him."

Dino knew who 'he' was. It was Tsunayoushi, the main focus on all Reborn's and Giotto's past quarrels know that he thought about it. But when the elder says it, he can't help but scoff.

"He was looking at him sexually?" Disbelief filled his voice, how could Giotto think, that Tsunayoushi's godfather could think that way? This was Reborn they were talking about. The same Reborn who made them do pushups and situps just for his cruel amusement. Not to mention he was a famous skirt chaser.

Disbelief.

Giotto raised an eyebrow, obviously not amused.

"No," The eldest Sawada crossed his legs. " It was something stronger than that." His eyes turned a bit foggy. "Its hard to explain but it felt like he wanted to _eat_  him. I could just see Reborn getting a fork and a knife, digging right in." Then he wondered about that man who used herbivores and carnivores in his speech pattern, the one he met on the way to Tsunayoushi's bedroom. That man was waiting to use the restroom, but Giotto had wanted to, for the most part snoop through his smaller brother's belongings. He had the right as an elder brother to make sure he wasn't doing anything wrong. That man that he hated on the first meeting would call Reborn carnivore. A predator.

Dino looked at his brother slowly and hard, he moves his gaze to the bottle of alcohol that was opened for everyone, that, and then he looked on the amount everyone had in their shot glasses.

What the fuck were they drinking?

* * *

The rest of the week went by too fast.

Everyone was busy with meetings and paperwork, and it is strange to say but Tsunayoushi had grown used to managing a trillion dollar company. He had no visitors for the entire week and a dozen had canceled lunch with him. He understood but it was a bit lonely.

At home Giotto and Dino still saw each other, the only time of the day they would sit around and talk were in meal times. The work was pretty rough. They could not imagine anyone enjoying this torture.

But their friendly neighbor (note the sarcasm) seemed to enjoy it. The busy time of filing paperwork and and barking orders was what Hibari Kyouya was born for. The sense of power was exhilarating, it was made for him. The only issue that he had, but would not admit, was that the work prevented him from seeing the herbivore. Sure, he still saw him because of their lunch agreement, but oftentimes it would just be sent to him by courier, or the herbivore would just hand the food quickly with a ' Hello and Goodbye Hibari-san!".

As Tuesday turned into Wednesday, and Thursday turned into Friday, his bad temper surfaced. He felt that 'thing', that thing 'missing' inside of him grew bigger, and bigger each day. He was sure that if he took off his white collared shirt, there would be a hole in his chest.

" Hibari-san?"

"Herbivore."

Kyouya looks up at the man at the doorway. He had two lunchboxes with drinks on the other hand.

" I-I'm sorry if this is a bit forward or an inconvenience to you .B-but, would you eat lunch with me?"

The charcoal haired man clears the papers off his desk.

" Just don't make a mess."

Tsunayoushi smiled, a smile that brightened the whole room. His cheeks looked like a chipmunk's , his eyes filled with a glimmer that made Kyouya think of the sunshine in Namimori.

At that moment Kyouya grabs the others arm, and does not let go for a while.

They just stare at each other for some time, and then as if nothing happened, sat down and ate their lunch.

Tsunayoushi looks a bit embarrassed and confused, while Kyouya is struck. He had just found what he had been looking for. The advice from that old women, the feeling she gave off, the feeling of his hometown. She told him to find a 'companion', but how could he? He had been alone all his life.

Hibari Kyouya does not understand this logic. All his life he had been searching for something. Knowledge, power, social status . But who were to think it would be here? He had finally found it, what he had been looking for. And in the strangest place possible. All this time it was here. He had finally found what he had been looking for-in Tsunayoushi's eyes.

* * *

Tsunayoushi feels compelled to go to the library on Saturday as is promised. But there were several peculiar things that seemed to say 'Don't go'. His car did not start while the engine seemed to be fine. The brown haired male sighed as he wrote in his small notepad 'Call a mechanic.' He walks to the closest bus stop but it arrived 20 minutes off schedule . To make matters worse, someone threw up on the bus and all the passengers had to be relocated to another bus. When he stepped into the next bus, he did not have change and had to pay with 500 yen.

Tsunayoushi dismissed all of these things by calling it his 'bad luck'.

The moment he stepped through the library's pearl gates, he felt something was incredibly wrong. There were no visitors and the whole place was silent and deserted .No hints of life.

The static filled his ears again and he began to panic, wishing, and hoping that Hibari-san would be with him at this very moment. Or Reborn, or just anyone, anybody. He took three steps back . His back to a book shelf. As soon as he applied pressure, the bookcase turned and shifted. Leading him into another room.

Byakuran was seated behind a desk in a white room, but it wasn't the white of the hospitals or even the white of collard shirts. It was nothingness. It seemed to stretch on for eternity, the only thing that was in that room were books. They seemed to be floating alongside a bag of marshmallows half eaten.

"There will be no miracles here," Byakuran laughs lightly as he writes quickly over the clear paper in front of him. He thought the plot twist he had just come up with was great. He opens a drawer next to him and takes out a miniature carousel and hits it twice for good measure. He placed a key next to it. " Darn, I guess it was my imagination when it moved."

Tsunayoushi was star struck. The carousel in his dreams, it was right here! He had to tell Hibari of this, he had to tell him now! But what was Byakuran , the librarian doing with such a thing?

"B-byakuran-san?"

Violet eyes were turned to him, they were smiling. " Hey Tsu-chan!" The white haired man waved. " I wanted us to talk in private, I hope you don't mind."

Tsunayoushi had no choice but to accept. He always had no choice, whether he was aware of it or not.

" A-ah, no i-it is fine." He looks around the place to find some sort of furniture but settles on a floating book. The title was ' _On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies_  '.

The white haired man grabbed a handful of skittles from a packet he had opened not too long ago. " Okey-dokey, Tsu-chan. So, besides being a librarian-" He popped a red skittle in his mouth. " I'm a novelist. A prize winning novelist! My pen name is White Orchid, have you heard of me?"

Tsunayoushi's mouth formed into a sharp 'o', Byakuran attempted to throw a green skittle at the others mouth but failed miserably. "I-I have seen your work in every book stand, the critics love them. But I'm afraid I have never read any..."

" You've heard of one, the one I read to the children for instance. That was mine."

The static continued to go strong, and everything around Tsunayoushi looked like an old cassette tape stuck in rewind.

" Ah, I-I see-"

" So basically, my selling point of the books is that it's a running series. It's around it's 34th volume, and it's with the same characters being used. But wait, check this out! It's a different story and setting in each book! Recently, I have become bored in that sort of thought, so I thought , what if-what if the characters finally realize that they are being forced to exist in these books? The characters dream and they think it is reincarnation but it's nothing of that sort! A 'god' has control over them completely. So they struggle with the fact  _that all that they are are god creating experiences to learn from_. They exist only in pure thought. They are a daydream."

Hot vomit poured through Tsunayoushi like a meteor shower unrelenting and grand. He fell to the floor. And as soon as his face hit the floor, and a finger snap from Byakuran they were in a library meeting room.

"Are you ok Tsu-chan? Did you eat something bad?" But the white haired man does not attempt to help the other at all , merely smiling showing neither disgust nor concern.

"Who," Tsunayoushi stops in between heaves. "Who are you!"

Byakuran stands tall, and looks down at the other with cold eyes .

"I'm god."

Then Tsunayoushi realized the meaning of life. Or more like the meaning to  _his_ life.

" We are actors confined to our roles."

The white haired man began to clap like a child on his date of birth.

" Bingo Tsu-chan!You get a gold star!"

This was too much for the brown haired man to handle, so he frantically shoots back up and tries to open the door. It is locked.

"You are an actor that I have casted upon for eternity." The white haired man walked closer to him, his steps sounded like death row. "If you'd like you can think of all the books that I wrote as a department store of personalities. I only nitpicked the personalities that I liked for the book I'm currently writing. You should be honored! You are my favorite creation."

Tsunayoushi curled up into a ball, rocking himself slowly back and forth. He does not care when Byakuran begins to pet his hair and sooth his back.

" You are my favorite because you know the pain of a stillborn flesh."

And Tsunayoushi cries because he was never born.

"You were born, don't worry Tsunayoushi. This whole universe that I wrote happened because of two births."

The smaller man who sobbed does not even raise a question to that statement. It was too much for his mind to take and instead asks-

"So in my dreams what do I keep seeing?"

The light in the room was growing dim, the light bulbs popping out violently.

"You may call it your past lives Tsunayoushi-kun, but they are merely all the memories I wrote for you. You see, I created your characters such a long time ago, so I wrote them in different settings and universes. I am a novelist Tsunayoushi-kun. God is a novelist, so what you are seeing is just my different novels and the roles you play in them. Don't you see how strange it was to be a knight in some dreams or a prince or a baker? There was one where you were a mafia boss that could shoot fire out of his hands or something." He laughs. " That one was popular with teenagers."

The static reached a hundredfold, there was a beeping like those Electrocadiogram's in the hospital, those heart pulse monitors. And above everything else Tsunayoushi hears his screams, frantic and desperate.

He is frightened because the room is swirling in different colors and appears to be a colorful kaleidoscope to his eyes. He tries to focus and when he does , he is tied down to an operating table with Byakuran hovering above him with that smile of his.

" I brought you here today," The white haired male says as he prepares a syringe. " Because I wanted your opinion on how the story was going. I'll ask you a question and you'll answer it. Easy right? You are my favorite Tsuna-chan, so I'll let you pick this of your own free will. It's your choice. Your only one."

Tsunayoushi does not seem to comprehend, all he can see is the glimmer of the edge of the syringe.

"I'm debating over whether to have you in a romantic relationship with Hibari again." Wait, what? " I want to be loyal to my fans you know? But then again, I wanted to try writing something different. " All of your stories, I'm sure you know end with you dying. You always die saving him, and besides it would have never worked out between you two. He is too proud, and he cannot love himself much less you. Knowing how its going to end, what is your choice?"

Tsuunayoushi hears clocks ticking. Something inside of him will end very soon. He just knows it, especially when Byakuran finally inserts the needle into his skin.

It is quiet, a silence that sounded like an echo in the mind.

"I choose to love him."

Byakuran begins 'the operation.'

As the other male's hands begin to cut him open and operate, he did not sense a single drop of malice from Byakuran. He probably should hate him, but he doesn't. He forgives him, because what he is doing is not out of ill intention but out of curiosity. Tsunayoushi felt like he was dead, nothingness. The anesthesia was a perfect way to explain nothingness he thought. No dreaming, no color, no memory, not a thing.

When the operation was done he felt revived. And it seems as if no time had passed. He was reborn.

His vision is clogged, but by the relaxed look on Byakuran's face he is sure he shouldn't be cognizant.

Byakuran begins to washes his hands . His back is turned to the brown haired man on the table.

" You are dying just to live once more, why would you hate this fate I have written for you? I have made you immortal ."

Tsunayoushi accepts his destiny, he will sit quietly here waiting for his death. He was always waiting for it. He stops and thinks about his family his friends, everyone that he knew that existed.  _I'm sure if everyone were conscious of this_ , he thought,  _everyone would feel desperate being unable to die._  A flame set in his eyes. While  _he_  will welcome his death , he cannot accept everyone's destiny.

" When you wake up from this Tsunayoushi-kun, you won't remember a thing. You and me will be reading books to your students and you will be none the wiser. You will still be attempting to find what is 'Carousel' and-"

Tsunayoushi gets up from the table, knocking Byakuran down on the floor in the process. He presses his shoulders together and succeeds in knocking the door down with a push and a shove. He goes through the doorway and despite the warnings and yells of ' Don't go there! Stop! Tsu-chan, you're being naughty!', he jumps.

As soon as he take the leap out of the door, the room is turned into that white room without end. And there, in front of him is the small carousel. He does not think, and does what Hibari or Reborn would do. He is sure of it. He grabs the small key ( because something told him that the key was of higher value) and runs , not knowing where the nothingness would take him.

He closes his eyes, and he is running like a madman through the library, out it's pearly gates and into the subway station.

He had changed his destiny when he grabbed the key. It was in his pocket, beating, just like his heart was. He remembers everything that Byakuran had told him.

Just as Tsunayoushi was a noble prince in his dreams, he would try his best to save everyone. His nobility was always something that existed in every life/storybook he existed in. His nobility was what made him stand apart while everyone else around him held no morals. And in all the situations, his desire to become a martyr, a prince, always happened at the most crucial moments. Moments in which he thought he would surely die, moments when everything around him was nothing but pandemonium. And that is because a noble is born in chaos.


	9. Our Vast Loneliness

Tsunayoushi is running.

He doesn't want to stop running because then he'll have to think.  _I am, that is_. He doesn't want to think. He wants to keep on running until the end of the world.

People look at him strangely. And who wouldn't? To an outsider, the man could either be intoxicated or perhaps dosed up. But he is neither; he is just a youth that has found a truth. And the truth hurts.  _Always._

But the world does not know, and ignores the man or looks at him with interest. Where is that man running to in such a hurry? What is he late for? But these thoughts are only a split second. They only have a few seconds to spare to think about his life.

This world just keeps on turning.

* * *

The moment Chrome opens her apartment door, she panics. Her boss is pale, his face vacant and ghostly. He is breathing quite heavily as he bleeds from his stomach.

"Boss!" The dark haired woman immediately pulls him inside, closing the door behind her. She is wary of the way he breathes in heavily, she is wary of what he might know.

She sets him on the couch, the one near the tank of lotus flowers and begins to touch his wound. The wound was gone the moment she turned around.

"Boss?" Her voice was small and questioning.

"Chrome." Tsunayoushi says in between breaths. "I know."

Chrome froze.

"I know." The brown haired man repeats, his breathing becoming more and more normal."I was with Byakuran-san."

The aquarium tank's filter was lightly bubbling up on the surface, causing the lotus leaves to skid around the water gently.

"So now you know." She looked at her royal blue carpet. "That we are merely characters out of a storybook."

"We are here because of two births." Tsunayoushi takes a glass of water that was in front of him. Chrome nods in approval. "We were all born once. Our souls are just being used over and over again. I saw all of this when I …when I was in the space time continuum or whatever you'd like to call it with Byakuran-san."

"It's the time where all the memories we have now and all the memories of our roles in the other books collide."Chrome says. "Boss , what else have you remembered?"

"I…I loved  _him_  Chrome-chan." Chrome knew he was talking about Hibari Kyouya. "And he loved me. Did you know that Chrome-chan _, did you_?"

"Yes." She continued to stare at the man seated next to her, how his eyes were unfocused and frightened. "But, Boss, how did you know that I know?"

"You feel different. You feel like…Byakuran-san."

She did not take it as an insult because she knew the feeling as well.

"Why do we bleed Chrome-chan?" He is now steady, speaking as if they were in a coffee shop crowded with people.

She thought carefully on how to answer him, thinking that she should make some tea to calm their nerves. "Because our spirits are rejecting the body we live in now. We aren't supposed to be alive, so that's why. But it only happens in the static, when we are conscious of this. The 'dreaming' .Do you understand? You could say that when the static occurs we are  _dreaming_  and when we are in this world we are  _living_."

"But it goes away," Nods the brown haired man. "Because we are only bleeding in the 'static'. But at the same time those two can tangle." Chrome stands up to go to the kitchen to brew some tea, perhaps some sweet Chamomile. The brown haired man follows, and quietly he says, "I accept my fate Chrome."

Chrome thought that that was the saddest thing she had ever heard.

"Who else knows?" He inquired as he began to help the woman prepare a tea tray. His hands were shaking.

"Gokudera and Yamamoto. I caught them talking in front of your bedroom balcony on Dino-san's birthday party. They were both speaking about 'Carousel'. And how they had to stop you from dying." This part was said really quickly, as if she thought by repeating those words it would come true.

Tsunayoushi smiled, it was a sad one. "I have the key to the Carousel." He took out the key from his pocket, it was about the size of his hand .It was golden and had a small flare of intricate designs on the handles.

Chrome's eyes widen. She is quiet for a while. "Boss…you have stopped time for us. You've given us more time to stop your fate. The Carousel, that's the course of our life. Without the key, Byakuran won't be able to write the book!" She was smiling at this point. "Everything that happens in this time, he won't be able to rewrite it! Without this key," Her hand is motioning to the key in the brown haired man's hands. "He won't be able to turn the Carousel!"

Tsunayoushi now understood that when the Carousel was turning, their lives were also in motion. When it stops, the fate that Byakuran had written for them is not there. And then he wondered if Byakuran was telling the truth, that he was god.

"Byakuran liked to leave it like this sometimes because he likes the unpredictability to his books, or so I think. Maybe he only turned the Carousel when he had written a chapter of our lives or so, and when it wasn't in motion he let us think for ourselves…When I went there, to his 'office,' I guess you could call it that. He said 'He thought he had seen it move.' Maybe…"

Tsunayoushi's eyes flickered.

"If the Carousel moved on its own, it could maybe be  _our souls trying to fight back._  And when we meet people intertwined with our destiny, without it being written by Byakuran-san it disturbs the balance. "

An excited bubble seemed to erupt in the man's chest.

"Why can't we just go break the Carousel?" He imagined himself going back to the library, breaking the little trinket in two.

Chrome was now excited too, because now she had something called hope.

"You wouldn't want to do that. It will disrupt the natural balance of this world."

Tsunayoushi breathes a sigh of relief. Because when he had gotten the key, it was the right thing to do.  _He had saved them,_  he smiled.

"I told Gokudera and Yamamoto if they remembered that we met in this town once, then, and only then they have remembered everything. I only said so because I thought that they didn't know the whole truth. They don't know anything about Byakuran. They just think their reincarnated lives are intertwining. They know nothing of the novels and all that."

"I see, so both of them knew?"Tsunayoushi then realized that he didn't know his friends. Not Really. He did not know what other secrets they were hiding. And it was probably the same for them too. "And they didn't tell me…well, I'm sure if I was in their situation I wouldn't have told me either."

Chrome placed two sugar cups to her tea while Tsunayoushi added some marmalade to his.

"Yamamoto, he's on our side. He came during the week to visit me. He's so confused right now..."

The pair both sat on the couch, they placed the tea tray on the small table in front of them.

"And Gokudera?" Hopeful.

She nibbled on a biscuit, careful on how to break the news to him. "He's on Reborn's side, your godfather."

Silence.

Tsunayoushi placed the tea he had been drinking onto the tray in front of him. He carefully placed both of his hands at the side of his face.

"Why is this happening to me?" He asked in a quiet voice. Chrome could not answer him.

"Boss, do you want to make a miracle?"

Tsunayoushi is still, and looks directly at Chrome when she says this.

Both of them thought they could believe in a miracle.

"But don't you think—"The man placed his hand on top of the woman's hand. "It's too late for this life? "

She blushed and coughed. "It's worth a try."

The brown haired man looks at their hands.

" O-oh! I'm sorry, I just –uhm—" Tsunayoushi just begins to panic, nervous and embarrassed.

Chrome just raises a hand to her mouth to laugh, she laughs for a few seconds then walks up to her book case. It was near the window next to the staircase leading to her room.

"Look, Boss. These are all the books he has written of us." The book case had all the books in correct order, their spines showing the volume numbers. "I bought one of his books because a long time ago one of my friends had recommended it to me." Her voice seemed far away. "I had no idea that the moment I would read the first chapter, I'd remember everything. It felt like I was running at high speed, and that's when I first experienced the 'static'."

Tsunayoushi had his hands in his lap. He took a biscuit from the tea tray and added some cream.

"The first time I experienced it was with Reborn." He had a far-away look on his face as he looked down to his teacup, his reflection staring back at him." In the last story he killed me."

Chrome nods. "Would you like to read it?"

"I'd like to borrow it, thank you."

The petite woman smiles and places the book to the side of her, as not to forget that she had loaned it to someone.

"You should also read the one where we have super powers. The moment you do, you'll remember how to gain those powers back." The look the other man gave her urged Chrome to show Tsunayoushi her power. She took the mentioned book and placed it in the man's hands. "Like this."

She closed her eyes, her body was still. No one spoke, and before Tsunayoushi could ask or comment on what was happening, the light bulbs in the room began to pop, slowly, like a wind-up jack in the box. The room temperature dropped filling the man on the couch with goose bumps. The floor beneath them even began to shake, softly, like a cradle.

Chrome's eyes slowly opened, they glow a bottomless violet.

" _ **Cortina Nebbia."**_

The room was engulfed in a thick foggy mist, and the furniture was no longer visible. To the man on the couch, he knew he was sitting on something, but now it looked like he was sitting on thin air. The brown haired man only saw white. He panicked.

"Chrome-chan!" He tried looking for her, but could not even move. It was like a bubble. And gradually, as soon as the brown haired man yells for the other, his voice perturbed, the mist seemed to disappear. And then, once again, they were left in the same living room of Chrome's apartment. Complete with the book case and aquarium.

Tsunayoushi began to breathe raggedly. Attempting to cool down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you .I'll never do that again." Chrome looked down apologetically.  _Not to you, anyway._  "You can do this too boss, although you have a different power than me .Just read the book and hone your skills on your own time."

Tsunayoushi nodded, his breathing normal. He looked at Chrome's royal blue carpet only to find the mist still scattered on the floor, hovering and disappearing.

"We can take this time when Byakuran has no key, to change our destiny."

* * *

When Mukuro had arrived, they sat down for dinner almost immediately. They set the silver wear on the table and exchanged greetings.

"Well aren't  _you_  early?" Mukuro's only visible eye shone. His other eye covered by a white medical eye patch, and in every occasion the elder male had it placed on his face, Tsunayoushi would remember when they were children.

The first time they had met was when they were in elementary, but really they knew of each other much earlier than that.

Tsunayoushi hardly went outside to explore when he was younger. And if he did, he was always accompanied by someone else. Like the grocery store, the library, coffee shops or even corner convenience stores. He remembers Reborn holding his hand as they looked at giraffes at the zoo. By that time he was in elementary school and Reborn was in junior high. Even by that time Reborn had Tsunayoushi catering to his every whim, even then.

"Look," Reborn pulled Tsunayoushi up in his arms (the boy was so small that he could be confused for a 4 year old). "The tongues of the giraffes are black, did you know?"

"Wow!"

So to Tsunayoushi, the zoo have might as well been the edge of the world. And that's where he met Mukuro and his younger sister, Chrome. They were in front of the cages of owls. The owls were kept in a large building with all the other nocturnal animals. It was dark and Tsunayoushi remembered he had held Reborn's hand tighter.

The two children were accompanied by their elder brother, almost the same age as Reborn. His name was Daemon, and Reborn and he chatted for a while over a class they were both taking. All the while the three children were getting to know one another; Chrome was shy and hid behind her brother. She was always like that, wary of everyone around her. And Mukuro was the type to be distrusting, so he didn't really like the boy at first.

"I like owls." Tsunayoushi muttered, hoping it would start a conversation.

"Me too, I like them because they sweep down and capture their prey." The boy with the eye patch spoke, facing the shorter boy whilst still looking at the snow owl.

The brown haired boy looked puzzled. "What is 'capture', and 'prey'?"

"You don't know what that means?" Mukuro rolled his eyes. "Kufufu, well don't count on me to tell you. It's a secret."

Tsunayoushi nodded, for he did not know the other boy was being mean to him, but even so, he decided he liked the boy's sister better. Even though she didn't talk to him, she seemed nice. "Can I see what's behind that white thing on your eye?"

At this, Chrome looked a bit hurt; she touched her own small eye patch with her hand.

"It's called an eye patch." Mukuro spoke this with a raw look. "I could care less if you'd want to see it." He was prepared for the boy's shock and horror; he could already picture the disgust in the boy's eyes. Because that was the only way the boy  _should_  react, even his mother looked at them that way. Why shouldn't a stranger?

He lifts his own eye patch and shows the boy his mismatched eye. It was a dark red color, it made Tsunayoushi think of red riding hood, from the story he liked so much. It made him think of his favorite red backpack and strawberries.

"It's very pretty!"

The two Spade children exchanged looks, and the both of them would remember that day as the first time they had ever made a friend.

Mukuro and Chrome both went to a different school next to Namimori, it was called Kokuyo and sometimes Reborn took him there for play dates with the Spade children. Sometimes, Tsunayoushi couldn't because the children's family were always traveling, returning to Italy and back to Japan.

"Mother is a star," Chrome says in her whispery voice. "She is always filming in Italy because she's famous in our birth country."

Their friendship continued, much to the dismay of everyone else around them. ( Especially Gokudera, who fought Mukuro everyday in front of Namimori middle school.) Sometimes, Mukuro would help Tsunayoushi with his homework, and that was the time that the Mukuro in the future remembered the most. Their lazy days in which they spent locked up in the brown haired boy's room, just talking for hours and doing nothing in particular.

Once, while Tsunayoushi was making them snacks, Mukuro began to dig through the other's backpack. It was a habit he had with everyone he knew. He just had to see what they had inside their bag. He found notepads, books, pencils, the usual things you would find in a middle school kid's backpack. He found one sheet of paper separated from the rest, and began to read it. He chuckled, it was those personality questionnaires.

**1\. When you were a small child, what did you want to be?**

_A robot._

Mukuro laughed through his nose.  _Predictable_ , he thought. He continued to read the questions idly, until he was on the last question and, surprisingly, that one struck a heavy chord in him.

**9\. Where do you see yourself ten years from now? If you can't think of a situation think of a question you'd like to ask yourself.**

And Tsunayoushi wrote in response—

_Will I still be alive?_

Mukuro remembered these small moments even in his adulthood.

* * *

When he ate his salad, Tsunayoushi looks at Mukuro's bandaged eye. The taller man smiled at him when he caught the other staring.

"Yes, Tsunayoushi?"

"I was just noticing, you have another infection…" The brown haired man's tone was filled with worry. "The day you came to have dinner at my place, you were touching your eye a lot. I hope it doesn't become serious like that time we were children."

Chrome smiled at the mention of their childhood, and Mukuro swatted Tsunayoushi's concern away.

"It's nothing like that. This happens frequently, but it's never going to go as bad as back then." Mukuro drank some tea. "I hope you have also been feeling better since our last conversation."

Their last conversation took place after everyone had finished eating, that day when he had made Okonomiyaki; it was the day that Tsunayoushi had come back soaking wet. After the two of them finished their dinner, they excused themselves from Giotto, Dino ,Xanxus and Reborn. They proceeded to chat in the balcony of Tsunayoushi's room for a while, talking about nothing.

"A little owl told me that you sounded upset today, care to tell me why?" Mukuro's voice was comfortable, but in his voice was a hint of jealousy. His busy schedule didn't let him be with the other man as frequently any more, and more than once he had caught him and Hibari Kyouya eating lunch together.

"Well…" Tsunayoushi began to water the plants he had on his balcony. He couldn't possibly tell him all the crazy things that had happened to him in the library with Hibari, not until he tells Chrome at least. If she didn't react in a negative manner, he'll have more confidence to tell Mukuro. "What..well, this is a theoretical question."

"Then I'll give you a theoretical answer."

"I…watched a movie recently, and it's about a man fighting his destiny. It gave me food for thought. And since you're an artist, I wanted your perspective on things. How could you avoid your destiny? Is there any other way? For example if you're already incarnated and want to change your path…" Tsunayoushi laughs. "W-what am I saying? This is all dumb, I'm so—"

And when he looked at Mukuro, his eyes seemed to be foggy, like a mist in the morning.

"I think that the only way someone could change their destiny is if you could be reborn again and again with the knowledge of alternative."

When Tsunayoushi remembered that snippet of their conversation he smiled.

He already had  _that_  down. Well some of it.

"I'm feeling much better, thank you."

And Chrome and Tsunayoushi smiled at each other, as if they were accomplices, while Mukuro looked at the both of them strangely.

* * *

When Tsunayoushi returns home he looks at the pizza boxes on his kitchen table.

Dino sat alone, eating a gigantic pizza slice. He had on some snazzy suit, white and wine coloured, and Tsunayoushi knew that he only dressed liked that to impress. It was a heavy contrast in comparison to his plain work clothes, but then again, his elder brother's always stood out from the crowd. Just like his father.

"Sup, lil bro." The blond began to chew. "I'm about to go out to the club in a little bit. Want to come? It's going to be me and a couple of friends."

The brown haired man sighed as he drank some water.

"No, thank you. I'm tired." And besides, he didn't like clubs anyway. The music was never to his tastes, especially to the ones Dino went to. "But have fun ok? Don't come home too drunk."

"Right, right. Want some Pizza?" Dino began to open the box half way, only to be stopped by the younger one's hand.

"I just ate with Mukuro-san and Chrome-chan."Tsunayoushi smiled politely. "It was pasta with a nice salad."

Dino smiled and said, "Now , Tsu-chan, you wouldn't be dating Chrome behind all of our backs, right? Cause whenever you two talk, you make goo-goo gaga eyes at each other."

The small man grew red, all the way to his face to his toes.

"Not even!" He puffed his cheeks. "Me and Chrome-chan are just close friends. We just understand each other is all."

And Dino had no idea just how much they understood each other. Just how much of a secret they kept.

* * *

When Tsunayoushi excused himself from Dino and Giotto( he was working late in the guest's room) and Reborn ( who was in the living room), he put himself to read the two novels Chrome had lent him.

He didn't know what to expect, and to be honest, he didn't really want to know. He just wanted to go back when he was in ignorance, he wanted to go back to the time he was unaware how cruel his reality was.

Tsunayoushi had learned that now that there were many realities in the world.

He took a deep breath and opened the book.

The first made him out to be a mafia boss. It seemed to be the second or third installment of that series, for it began right smack into one of the battles. It was strange, Tsunayoushi thought. The character in the book was named Tsunayoushi and it thought like him, talked like him, looked like him, it was him. For someone else to read this and have a huge following, he felt like it was one big invasion of his privacy.

There was nothing left of him.

He had gotten to one of the pages (around the third chapter) when he had read how 'he' called on his flame attack. So at that moment he stood, and put his hands parallel in front of him, and slowly brings it in front of him, making an 'x'. He laughs.

What was he thinking?

He tried it again, lazily, and puts his index fingers together. Still nothing. He laughed again. Who was he kidding? Could he really have special powers? It all seemed like a joke to him.

He stood up to prepare himself some tea, but as soon as his hands were apart, and in each facing the opposite direction— flames shot out.

It was all in rapid motion, but it was enough to frighten the man, and he squeaked.

"Keep it down in there." Reborn shouted from the living room. "And put on the air conditioning, it's burning up in here."

The flame slowly disappeared, leaving behind scorch marks on his dresser. The man blinked for a few times until he smiled and looked at his hands.

After Tsunayoushi practiced one of his powers (which he came to find out was called the 'X-Burner') he decided to flip over to the other volume, which was different in setting , plot and theme. He hadn't finished the other one , but the curiosity was just aching inside of him to open the other alternative.

At a certain point he had to put the book down and rest. It was too much to bare, for he found out that in this particular volume he and his godfather were not related at all. Reborn wasn't even his godfather, Reborn was in love with him.

The story was set in the World War two, the setting Italy. Reborn was just a man with high political power, his slave boy was Tsunayoushi and it was about their misadventures and survival over the time period. At one point, Tsunayoushi meets a Japanese youth in the navy and both of them are caught in the power struggle of their county.

" _ **But Reborn," Tsunayoushi said as he added clothes to his suitcase." I've always been kind to you."**_

_**Reborn looked at the other will a hint of bitterness; he threw the other's suitcase on the floor, grabbing him roughly by the wrist.** _

" _ **I don't want your kindness."**_

_**The brown haired man shut his eyes, and stood still. He thought of Hibari, how Hibari was waiting for him at the docks to escape the country.** _

" _ **You're in no position to ask me that."**_

" _ **I don't, is that right? I'm trying to save you from your fate. If you go there and help that Japanese man escape, they'll kill you. All of Europe is against us. They'll kill you two in America."**_

" _ **I want to be with , please . I've…I've never wanted anything in my whole life…just please, let me go. Something is compelling me to go with him."**_

_**He turned his back on the other, and runs out the room aiming for the stairs.** _

_**The Italian man stood stunned, to think—that that orphan child he picked up years ago would bite the hand that fed him. All for another man.** _

_**The dark haired man soon began in his pursuit and walked down the staircase, and there he saw the brown haired boy attempting to reach the door.** _

_**Reborn cocked the gun he had hidden in his holster and shoots. In one swift motion the bullet hits right through the other's heart. The petite boy stops moving, and he stands silently touching his wound as the blood dyes his shirt a light pink. Suddenly, after a minute or two Tsunayoushi resumes walking again. He began to stumble in his steps, still attempting to walk, still attempting to reach the door.** _

" _ **I can make it…I can make it…" The brown haired boy breathes heavily, his vision going cloudy. His finger tips touch the doorknob, but as soon as he does, collapses to his death on the floor.**_

" _ **Arriverderci."**_

Tsunayoushi could only run with tears in his eyes to the arms of the one who had shot him.

Reborn was sitting on the couch; he had the newspaper in front of him with a small notepad to his side. He looks beneath him to find his godson's arms around his chest. The brown haired man's head leaning beneath the other's chin.

The elder man envelopes his arms around the other, as if to ask the younger man wordlessly, 'what's wrong'? And Tsunayoushi could not tell the older man  _'because you killed me'._

* * *

Kyouya knew that Tsunayoushi did not belong in a cage, yet, he lived in one. And in that cage there was a flow of blood. He noticed how the herbivore's family treated him, how they had little to no respect for him. And he just stood there and took it.

That was one of the reasons Kyouya had left early from that blond idiot's birthday party. He was disappointed in the herbivore.

But all of that would change, Kyouya said to himself. He had made up his mind. The moment he had realized that what he had been looking for was in Tsunayoushi's eyes, was the moment he had decided he would be officially courting the herbivore.

He had made preparations on how he would tell the herbivore he had chosen him as his mate. He had set reservations at a nice restaurant in town. He had the best seats in the house and in the following week that he had invited (forced) the herbivore to dine with him, the brown haired man couldn't help but be puzzled.

It was a Tuesday night, and right after the work day was over at seven in the afternoon , Kyouya arrives at Tsunayoushi's office. Both of them had not seen each other in days. Tsunayoushi hadn't even had the time to tell Kyouya what he had found out, how he had the key. He tried to tell him many times and even woke up early to tell the other man, but things just didn't go his way. Either Hibari had already left for work or he wasn't there. And Tsunayoushi thought, that just because he was confused did not mean he should let go of reality. The company was a reality, so Tsunayoushi hung tightly to it.

"We're going out to eat." Is all Kyouya says, and with that the two men leave in his black car.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet, neither of them spoke, and Hibari did not drive with music.

 _That's just like him,_  and Tsunayoushi could not help but smile at this.

When they arrived at the restaurant, the waiter greets them almost immediately. He smiles nervously and looks between the dark haired man and the friendlier looking man. For the rest of his greeting he only looks at the latter, frightened of the other man's stature and position.

As soon as they were seated, Kyouya looks at the menu idly, Tsunayoushi instead admiring the traditional Japanese decorations and plants. It looked and felt just like Namimori. He smiled, but soon it turns into something more serious.

"Hibari-san, thank you for inviting me out to dinner today, but, before the dinner, I have to tell you something."

Kyouya raises an eyebrow.

"I'm sure this could wait." He taps the menu as if to say 'I'm busy'.

Tsunayoushi shakes his head. "No, I'm certain it can't. Hibari-san it's about—"The dark haired man raises his hand, signaling the other man to 'stop'.

"If anyone should begin this conversation it should be me. I'm the one that invited you, rude herbivore."

The brown haired man wanted to hit himself with the table,  _why was Hibari-san so difficult!_

These thoughts are put aside when he sees Hibari taking out a small black folder, opening it and laying it in front of the other man.

Tsunayoushi blinks.

"H-h-h-h-hibari-san." The timorous man stutters. "What is the meaning of this?"

It said in bold characters, kanji bold and menacing 'Domestic Partnership'.

"It is not an official state document, but it official to me." Hibari speaks with the same tone, neither embarrassed nor regretful. "If I am to court you I will do it according to protocol."

Tsunayoushi begins to pinch the ridge of his nose. "What made you think I would…agree?"

It seemed as if Hibari had never even thought the other would deny his proposal.

"Why wouldn't you?"

 _He's serious._ And then it donned on him, that before he took the key from Byakuran he had said  _'I choose to love him.'_

He blushes and the dark haired man begins to speak.

"Although we don't know much of our current situation with the Carousel, I know for certain that me and you have unfinished business." He pierces his grey eyes to brown ones. Steel with earth. "Me and you have a Karmic bond. Since you've entered my life you have been unavoidable - I always tend to run into you." Tsunayoushi felt like all of this was a dream, so he grabs hold of the key in his pocket. "There always seems to be an 'understanding' of sorts between us, without even saying a word."

When Hibari spoke like this Tsunayoushi was enchanted by the other man's voice. He really was falling for the other man, but he shouldn't agree to this. He had to do everything the opposite of his destiny. He had to go back on Byakuran's novel.

"Since I've met you Tsunayoushi, I've felt like I've already headed towards the end of the world."

And that line made the feelings in his heart blossom, like the hydrangea on Hibari's desk he had gifted him.

"Why would you want me as your…uhm…" Before Tsunayoushi could say 'lover' the man finishes the sentence for him with a smirk.

"Mate."

"Yes, that."

"I enjoy your company." And that is the closest thing Kyouya would ever say to an ' _I like you'_.

The Japanese garden outside their window had a small stream flowing, the water made a sound that made Kyouya remember of his home and the times he would sit with green tea looking at his family's garden. That time when they were children, and he gave the herbivore his ball back.

Kyouya could still remember the child's words to him, how high pitched the other's voice was, and how kind it sounded.

' _Thank you.'_

And that was the first time that Kyouya had learned how to hold his head up in pride, for that was the first time anyone had ever thanked him.

"When someone thanks you, it means you have done something grand." His grandfather told him this on his deathbed. His voice sounded weak but strong, which Kyouya would find strange. "That's why when you say those words, it should always be scarcely. Save it for rare occasions, for speaking too much will cheapen your words."

That was the only man he had ever fully respected.

He was not a cheap man.

Tsunayoushi silently reaches for the pen lying on the table and signs the document in front of him.

* * *

When the waiter arrived with their orders, is when Tsunayoushi decides to be brave. It was time.

"Hibari-san," He called the other man to attention. "Now it's my turn to speak."

* * *

When Tsunayoushi had finished telling Kyouya everything, the dark haired man stays quiet for a long time, musing over his thoughts.

"When will we get together in a meeting with this Chrome woman?"

Tsunayoushi is stunned. Hibari did not panic, he did not even blink. There was no reaction, just an acceptance of the situation.

"This…it doesn't faze you at all?"

"Of course not. I will bite any obstacle to death."

Did the man not get it? Their fates were written out by a 'god', they were characters doomed to repeat the same story.

"You and I are like the Milky Way Hibari-san." The mousy man looks up at the others eyes. "We really don't have a set past only the present and we don't really have a future either."

But then Tsunayoushi frowns and thinks for a short while.

"Wait-" His eyes flicker with humor but it is just too sad. "That's just me. You'll live. You always have."

Kyouya glares at the other. "You are an idiotic herbivore. Then stop putting yourself in front of me. I don't need you to protect me. That's your problem, herbivores do the most unnecessary things. We have the key don't we? The Carousel can't move without it."

But Tsunayoushi doesn't look so certain.

"I may not know what fear is, nor do I know what sorrow is," Kyouya's voice was stern. "—but I know what stillness is."

And he did not tell Tsunayoushi of the helplessness he felt whenever he saw the other man die in his dreams. Hibari kyouya should not know what helplessness is, he couldn't. He wanted everyone to know that, he just wanted  _everyone_ to know that.

* * *

Right after their dinner they walked in the city that they wanted to forget the name of. They did not hold hands like young lovers do, they did not hold each other, but they did walk shoulder to shoulder, their feet moving in the same pace. And that was enough for people to know there was a hint of intimacy between them.

The duo stopped at a takoyaki stand in front of a book store. Kyouya thought it would be a fitting end to their first rendezvous, the first date. Since a child he was taught in the matters of courting, and in courting it was frowned upon if they did not partake in random treats. Besides, he wanted a little snack.

"Takoyaki." Kyouya spoke, his breath appearing in the cold night. "How many do you want in our plate?"

Tsunayoushi blushed, for it was no longer 'his' plate it was 'our' plate.

"I don't know…five?"

Kyouya gave the other man a look." I'll order 13."

And the brown haired man knew the other would do most of the eating. He looked at the bookstore in front of the stand as the black haired man stood in line. Perhaps he could find out more about 'White Orchid', he had planned to buy more of the books in his own time, so how about now?

"Hibari-san, I'll be heading into the book store, I'd like to buy something."

Kyouya turned and nodded, signaling his approval.

When the brown haired man entered the shop, it was a bit crowded, a whole group of people huddled into one side of the store. Curiosity got the best of him, so he proceeded to walk where the crowd was, grabbing the first book that caught his eye (a fairytale book). He did so because then he could overhear the people's conversations and outbursts.

"I can't wait to get my hands on the newest White orchid book!"

Tsunayoushi grew stiff.

"Yes, it's supposed to be a two part release! The first act ended so quickly! I can't believe that Tsunayoushi got the key."

Loud murmurs could be heard all around. The brown haired man looked up from the corners of his eyes and sees a big red banner 'White Orchid Gathering! Be the first to have the newest book of his at midnight!' He extended his white jacket to look at his watch, but forgot that he did not have one. He then looks for his cell phone, but realized he did not have it on him. How strange, he thought, he was sure he had it in the restaurant.

"It's only thirty more minutes to midnight, I can't wait! I saw that the White Orchid gave us a spoiler on his bbs!"

 _Byakuran-san had a website?_  Tsunayoushi remembered to go look at it when he was at home.

"Yeah, that the next installment will be all the characters trying to fight their fate. I can't wait for Hibari and Tsunayoushi to get together. I can just feel the sexual tension!"

A chuckle.

"Oh, you! Well I'm more interested in his godfather. He's borderline creepy, y'know? And I'm very suspicious of him! I mean remember how he killed Tsunayoushi in the last book? What a shocker! I bet he's going to do something in this one too."

The brown haired man felt like he was going to be sick.

"I think all the characters have it rough, I mean, they're controlled by a 'god'. Gosh, if this was real I would be so sad to live."

"Yes, I agree. It's not really living. But you know, maybe if Tsunayoushi tries hard enough he'll be able to change his fate. He annoys me really, he has no will to do anything!"

 _As if I could, As if I could make a choice._  Tsunayoushi wanted to tell them but couldn't.

"I was wondering, what sort of type do we categorize it? I mean the mafia one was real happy, you could say. But this one? I feel it's more darker, I think this one is the most darkest one since his first installments! I was waiting for this to happen."

"Well this one is finding out your whole life is a lie, I like that sort of revelations in books. Also, all the characters seem so lost; I mean Hibari's loneliness is so big… I don't think Tsunayoushi would be enough to fill that hole. Not to mention, I think—"

Tsunayoushi did not want to listen to them anymore; he didn't want to hear these people. What did they know? They didn't know him! But then again, they did.

"—I think that the only way to change his fate is by leaving behind Hibari, I mean, the moment that they met is when things began."

" _Sounds like a sad story to me."_

Tsunayoushi leaves the bookstore without purchasing anything.

Outside, Kyouya waits with the takoyaki he had bought from the stand next to him. He hands some to the brown haired man along with some hot lemon tea.

Kyouya looks down at the man's empty hands and asks him, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Tsunayoushi took a bite off the takoyaki him and his 'partner' shared.

"I never do."

Kyouya writes this off as 'I can never find the book I want', so he just shrugs and pulls something out of his pocket. The herbivore's cell phone.

"Ah, Hibari-san. What are you doing with my cell phone?"

"Why shouldn't I have it?" The taller man places Tsunayoushi's cell phone in his hands. "And Reborn called, three times."

"Hieeeeeeee!"

Tsunayoushi forgets about this invasion of privacy.

* * *

"Reborn, where are we going?"

It was the following day, around two at noon. The Italian man steered into the parking building. The Varia headquarters was a silver color, it's stature made it seem like it could go on forever.

"I told you," A hint of light irritation filled his voice. "I am going to show you the Varia headquarters."

The brown haired man mentally began to cry, he didn't really want to go and meet them. But as head of the Vongola he had a responsibility to uphold. And just by telling himself that, a stream of confidence flowed within him.

After they both exited the car, they walk towards the elevator at the edge of the parking lot.

When Tsunayoushi was about to press the first floor, Reborn swatted the other's hand away and pressed the button that said 'basement'.

The brown haired man looked at the Italian puzzled, but did not say much.

When the elevator's door opens it leads them into a gym. Xanxus was standing next to a man with long silver hair, and Tsunayoushi knew him to be 'Squalo'. He was the secretary of the vice president, and handled the rest as his right hand man.

"Hello, pleasure to meet you." Tsunayoushi bows down at the tall Italian, and all he receives is a nod. He looks around at the arena they were in. How could a whole arena be cramped in such a building? What was it doing here? So he voices his thoughts.

"Is this the company gym?"

Reborn scoffs and Squalo looks at him with wild eyes.

"This is the training ground, you dumbass!" The man's voice was rough and loud, his voice echoing through the walls. "Voiii, Xanxus, did you tell the twerp what's going on yet?"

Xanxus smacks the long haired man with the back of his pistol.  _No wonder he and Reborn got along,_  Tsunayoushi mused.

"Shut it scum."

Reborn walked toward Tsunayoushi, he took off his suit jacket and laid it on one of the chairs. In front of the shortest man ( Tsunayoushi) there was a punching bag, and weights. All in all, it looked like any normal gym, and he just stood there confused.

" Weren't we supposed to be in a meeting?" There was something off about this, Tsunayoushi knew this. He knew this by the atmosphere and intuition.

Xanxus's eyes flashed darkly. "You're beginning to annoy me, scum. There's nothing to make a conference about. All you need to know is that this corporation isn't what you think it is."

Tsunayoushi's face showed confusion. But then looks at Reborn's gun holster , how Xanxus had one as well.

"What's going on?" Is all he could say.

Reborn stood in front of Tsunayoushi. "I came here to train you, so we can include you in how we run things ." No emotion shown on the brown haired man's face. "Did you really think this company made a reputation by itself just by its business? That we haven't stained our hands? We are a  _monopoly_ ; we make sure the other competition will  _always_  stay second. We're an assassination squad."

Squalo began to polish out a sword he had, cleaning it with a white rag he had in his pocket.

"But that's wrong." Tsunayoushi's voice began to raise. " As the president of the Vongola ,I won't allow it!"

At this, Xanxus begins to laugh. It echoed throughout Tsunayoushi's brain, unprepared of what was to come.

"You are just the 'face' of the Vongola corporation. Did you really they would actually follow that foolish old man's will?"

"The real people that run the company are the Varia, including myself." Reborn then looks at the other with cold eyes and unleashes something cruel at the man in front of him. "Did you really think you were  _capable_  of managing the Vongola company  _all by yourself_?"

Tsunayoushi then realized, that just like Byakuran had control over his life, everyone had control over his as well. He had never chosen anything for himself. He had never accomplished anything by himself, and even if he did , it was because someone else wanted him to do it.

' _I hereby give free reign over my company to my youngest grandson, Sawada Tsunayoushi .'_

' _Then make yourself good enough. If you don't do as I say I'll kill you. I'll never forgive you for as long as I live.'_

' _I have to believe in free will, I have no choice.'_

He then pictures his father, Giotto, his mother, his whole family. Everyone that had ever pushed him around and he remembers that one time he had cried in front of everyone. How he felt so useless his body couldn't take it anymore.

' _I am such a nothing.'_

Xanxus begins to reload his guns, checking for safety.

"Well we better get started on teaching this trash the ropes."

Reborn nodded and turned his back on Tsunayoushi.

"I am sure you know nothing of combat, but I will be your teacher, and we'll begin—"

Before Reborn could finish that sentence he was tripped off his feet, Tsunayoushi speed down into the ground, extended his leg in a circular motion. He knocked the Italian off his feet, but Reborn was too fast and reached for a blow to Tsunayoushi's face.

But Tsunayoushi is shorter, smaller, and quicker, so he manages to punch his godfather square in the jaw.

Reborn stumbles back, and touches the corner of his mouth. There was blood there.

Xanxus and Squalo looked back and forth between the two. Squalo looking a bit shaken while Xanxus stared with high interest.

Tsunayoushi develops his posture into something aggressive. His two arms in front of him in a martial arts pose, like the stance he imagine he looked like in the novels. He undoes his tie and with that says—

"Let's do this."

* * *

 


	10. Pink Zebrese Beauty

The sound of Tsunayoushi's battle cries resonated throughout the training grounds.

As much as Tsunayoushi fought tooth and nail it was nothing compared to the experience of his godfather. As much as he would have liked to have victory over the other and in the process gaining the respect of everyone around him, it didn't happen that way. It couldn't, for it was not what was written.

The brown haired man breathed roughly in exhaustion, he fell to the ground after sparring with his godfather for a good thirty minutes. Frankly, everyone was surprised he lasted that long. Squalo stood behind Xanxus, his eyes watching the rookie get back up time and time again, thinking ' _It's useless, there's no way this kid will amount to anything here,_ ' and '  _Why is this sort of person here?!_ ' Xanxus on the other hand looked bored, dead bored. He only reacted when the brown haired man impacted with the wall at the edge of the training grounds, how he then fell harshly to the ground and winced in pain. Regardless of these things, Tsunayoushi did not accept defeat. He was practically a punching bag for thirty minutes straight, yet slowly stands up, hoping for a miracle.

"No-Good Tsuna…" The Italian spoke steadily to the beaten man on the ground. "Where did you learn this…so called 'martial arts'?"

Reborn found the other's physical strength as laughable, just one big joke. Sure, Tsunayoushi was even less than an amateur, but the way that his godson stood, those stances looked strangely familiar. Those stances were meant to be learned, they couldn't just be imitated so easily. Tsunayoushi had talent, but he had no practice.

In the novels that Tsunayoushi had begun to read, his mentor, the one to teach him self-defense and nurtured his growth was always—and will be— Reborn. The man with the fawn eyes was never good at telling lies and he does not want to start now, so he looks up and tells the dark man—

"You did." He trembles as he attempts to stand. "You taught me these things."

In a fit of rage Reborn dashes in a frenzy and delivers Tsunayoushi a finishing blow. It was a punch square in the jaw (perhaps returning the first favor) which sends back the younger man headfirst to the ground. The Italian man thinks that the other has had enough; he won't get up (not this time). But Tsunayoushi isn't done yet, he still attempts to get back up, his knees shaking like a ribbon caught in the wind. He is overdoing it, he knew this to be true but he wants to get a message across to the other man.

' _Without you who am I?',_ Tsunayoushi's eyes seemed to ask Reborn.

_I now have an answer._

Their eye contact was cut short, because suddenly the brown haired man seemed to be turning ill. He hurls as if he is going to vomit, but all that he spits from his mouth is blood and one single tooth. When he lifts his head, his eyes were stern, and honest. Reborn had never seen Tsunayoushi so certain of anything in his whole life.

" _ **I am… Sawada Tsunayoushi**_ _."_

The brown haired male remained in shock, but slowly covers his face to hide his embarrassment, and Squalo whistles, a low to a high pitch to match how impressive the gory sight was.

"Never lie to me." Reborn says with cold eyes, and with that, leaves to the elevator at the edge of the gymnasium.

Xanxus rolls his eyes and stares with disappointment at the young Vongola president, he turns to Squalo who was already calling a medical nurse from inside the building, but not before hearing Tsunayoushi from a distance say "I never have."

* * *

The sound of water echoed throughout the bathroom that Tsunayoushi is currently in. After his one sided battle and the treatment from a nurse of the facility, he had made his way toward the bathroom to wash his face.

He looked dreadful.

He looked at himself in the mirror, and began to touch and prod his face in curiosity. His face was bruised and swollen; his eyes were red and puffy as if he had finished a good cry ( he wouldn't let himself) . He sighed as he thought up of an explanation for his appearance to his two elder brothers; Dino and Giotto. Nothing seemed to escape them, and he imagined their worried looks on their faces when they'd see him after this event. Tsunayoushi began to wash his hands and sighed ' But I'm doing this for them. They shouldn't become involved…'

The brown haired man looked around the restroom, looking to see if there was anyone else around, he didn't want to get caught in an embarrassing moment, so when he makes sure that the coast is clear, he takes action. He opens his mouth big and wide to see just exactly which tooth did Reborn manage to knock out, and fortunately for him, it was a tooth way at the back of his mouth.

Tsunayoushi becomes startled when he hears the door opening, and it turns more into anxiety when he sees who had just entered the restroom. It was Xanxus. The man with the violent eyes made a movement that indicated he was aware of the other's presence, a quick nod of the head in Tsunayoushi's direction. Xanxus then steps up to a urinal while Tsunayoushi gives an obvious response to the situation; he looks away respecting the other's privacy. Just as soon as he was turning, something grabs his attention from the corner of his eye— it was a feather. An explosion of feathers erupts on the two men, leaving behind a carpet of colour, their steps now turned cushioned and soft.

Tsunayoushi is unfazed by all of this now, so he just gulps and tries to take in as much as he can from the phenomena. There were feathers from every color , shape and size-it reminded him of the day he signed the acceptance of becoming president of the Vongola, although now he thinks of it as ' Well, what good did that do?'

"The hell are you looking at?" Xanxus asks while looking straight forward at the wall above his urinal. The brown haired man realizes that staring at a man urinating was most certainly weird, so he pretends not to notice the downfall of feathers taking place.

"N-nothing, I-I'm v-very sorry." He stutters.

A sound of a zipper going up is heard, then heavy footsteps.

"Anyways," Xanxus says as he washes his hands, the sound of water hitting the sink magnified ten times than normal. It sounded like drums of war. "The fuck is up with the feathers?"

Tsunayoushi's face looked shocked and disturbed; his pupils became unfocused and wavered. He then turns to the side to look at the mirror and in that quick eye movement he sees something peculiar. The feathers that he could clearly see, touch, and feel as they fell in the restroom showed no reflection in the mirror. It reminded him of the vampire myths that Dino as a child would read to him about, 'Vampires are not visible in mirrors", he remembered the blond telling him.

"You mean you can see them?!"

After the brown haired man's shocked outburst, Xanxus walks up to him with an incredulous look on his face, towering over him easily. His rouge eyes seemed to say ' _Do you take me for a fool_?'

"Can't you?" The man snorted. "Brat, the first time we talked in the old man's room I saw them too. Not only are you an idiot but you're also blind as well?"

Tsunayoushi's eyes widened. Xanxus could see, he could feel this stop of time—whatever these things are— from the beginning! The man in the white suit knew, he just had to make Xanxus his ally, he couldn't let Reborn have him.

"Xanxus-san, please listen to me…" Tsunayoushi's voice was in a hushed whisper, raspy and urgent. "What we're seeing…is caused by our 'past lives' so to speak. I know this is far-fetched and we don't have much time-"The brown haired man's eyes look in every direction, making sure no one would overhear, and at the same time oversees the phenomena taking place. "But please, won't you listen to me? You're …you're all being tricked, all of us are…"

The taller man stands stunned, but nevertheless stands.

"Trash, that's what you're spouting'. Nothing but shit and stupidity. You got hit in the head too damn hard by your godfather."

Xanxus turns his back on the other, but as soon as he does, feels a sole hand clenching the back of his shirt. He could feel the other trembling, he could feel the hope that the other had bestowed on his back.

"Take your hand off me or I'll kill you."

Instead of having his threat be successful, he is met with cold laughter. The feathers continue to fall, only white ones this time, leaving small spots on the ground.

"You can't kill me, you could never do that….you have no control over my destiny. But, in all honesty," Tsunayoushi looks at the ground.-"- neither do I."

"Bullshit!" Xanxus turns, grabs the other's shirt and pulls Tsunayoushi to face him, lifting him off the ground.  **"Destiny isn't fucking given, it's earned you pathetic piece of shit!"**

It was quiet for some time.

Xanxus suddenly feels droplets of water fall to his hands, his grip still on the smaller man's shirt. In his whole life, he didn't trust anyone's eyes except for his, but it all changed when he saw those small drops morph into little cardboard cut-outs of different shaped stars. They looked like construction paper, those things Xanxus as a kid hated because he was never the one to cut inside the lines. He looks up to find the source of the strange phenomena and sees them coming from Tsunayoushi. They were his tears.

As Tsunayoushi wept his tears turned into little construction paper stars, they fell into the ground, joining the feathers and the blood that came from the brown haired man's re-opened wounds. They stung.

Tsunayoushi's eyes were staring straight at Xanxus, it felt like they were consuming him into a despair that was as deep as the seven seas. The brown haired man then takes a deep breath, all in slow motion, because of the static and the pain.

 _ **"Then what the hell am I supposed to do!?"**_ Tsunayoushi's remark ate the whole room entirely, the only thing heard. That was all his confusion amounted to, that single statement something he had wanted to say, his desperation not even on a humane level. He was losing his mind little by little.

The taller man drops his grip on the other's shirt causing Tsunayoushi to fall on his bottom and asks, "What is it that you want?"

Xanxus didn't know what he was saying, he was just reciting phrases like words from a play. The actors were set, and scene! Act 10 Scene 2.

"I want to save you."

Xanxus regains control of his body and yells "Who do you think you are you little shit, who are you to save me!?"

"I would die for you, I would die for everyone, but I only want to because it might be the only way."

That's pissing me off, thought Xanxus , and I don't know why..

Instead of being silent, Xanxus uncharacteristically let's his shoulders relax. Something he never does with anyone.

"Are you afraid of me?"

Tsunayoushi stands up while the feathers stuck to the blood on his shirt. They stained them in nice hues of colour.

"Yes, I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of your mannerisms, your strength and personality—" The brown haired man swallows. "I'm afraid of everybody in the world. But I still want to protect you, I want to protect everyone, because no one deserves to be lied to. Everyone…deserves to live, but this isn't truly living….Hibari-san has taught me this. I truly believe that."

The feathers come to an abrupt halt. There were no indications of anything abnormal taking place just a few minutes ago. No pieces of a story taking place.

"I'll listen to you." Says Xanxus.

"And why is that?"

Both stare at each other, even though their height was with a miraculous difference, for some reason both now looked at each other eye to eye. Xanxus sighed " Because you're not a liar."

At this the younger man's face erupted to one of happiness, the way he smiled, was a rare, true smile. And it was directed at Xanxus no doubt.

"T-thank you! Thank you so much!" The gratitude was genuine, something he'd never think he'd ever feel for Xanxus, life is strange that way right? He clears his throat and blushes, " I…am going to read to you these two chapters of a book, yes?

Xanxus gives the other a 'are you kidding me' look.

"They're a bit long so please hear me out! You'll understand everything after this, I promise."

Tsunayoushi takes a deep breath—and is prepared to read to him the volume in which he was a mafia boss and Xanxus a leader of an assassination squad called the Varia…

* * *

The eldest Sawada's eyes slowly drifted from the magazine to the watch on his right wrist. He ignored the blushes of the nurses directed at his way, only looking up when his name was called for his appointment.

"Giotto," Spoke a man with stubble and glasses, "You look well."

The blond smiled politely. "It's been a while Verde."

The elder man opened the door for the other and nodded.

"What seems to be the problem? I've heard from Reborn you're staying with your youngest sibling."

Verde and Giotto both walk to the opened door in the hall. Like most health care facilities, it smelled like disinfectant, it smelled and looked like vitamins and pills. Syringes. Giotto always hated going to hospitals, because to him it didn't smell like those things at all. To him, it smelled of pure death and felt melancholy. He hated going to the doctor if it wasn't necessary, and he especially didn't like it when Tsunayoushi was ill. If Tsunayoushi were ill, he'd have to go to seek medical attention, and Giotto never wanted the younger to be near one. He didn't know why, but he felt if the younger were to take a single step into those immaculate walls he'd never see him again.

When both males sat down in Verde's office, Giotto began to speak.

"I'm here to ask for your professional advice; you're trained in Psychology correct?" The blond man crossed his legs and narrowed his eyes in deep thought while Verde began flipping through his patient's files.

"Now you have me curious, what is all this about?" The odd coloured haired man smirked. "Giotto are you in _distress_?"

Giotto did not answer.

"The proud Giotto, asking me for help?" Verde tsk'ed. "The four horsemen of the apocalypse shall make an appearance soon, no?"

The man with the sun for his eyes knew this reaction from Verde would happen, for years Giotto was always one to do things for himself, but now, it is time for him to ask for help. He swallowed his pride and spoke.

"I have made both Tsunayoushi and Dino believe I am perched in my younger brother's home for one reason only, and that is for regaining a lost bond we had between us. But that isn't all, they don't know why I truly chose to stay close to them." Giotto's eyes flickered, the clock on the left ticked loudly. "Since I was sixteen years old, I have been having strange dreams about my smaller brother."

Verde placed a hand as if to pause the other. As if he had heard this millions of times.

"Having sexual dreams we do not understand is normal. It does not indicate you having hidden lustful desires for your sibling. Now it would be a problem if it was every single day, but this seems every other—"

"That isn't that at all!" The younger man massaged his temples, the elder man was obviously getting a kick out of this, Giotto thought. Both Verde and Reborn hate each other but they're exactly alike. " I have dreams with my smaller brother, sometimes, it seems like I am witnessing a film, sometimes I am in the film and I'm watching my movements, but all of them end the same. "

Verde's pen clicked.

"In all my dreams Tsunayoushi dies."

The green haired doctor now seemed like a professional, his hands quick in jotting down his patient's inquiries.

"Is the cause of death always the same?" Verde asks.

"No. He dies differently all the time. Sometimes I've seen Mukuro— he's Tsunayoushi's childhood friend—kill him, although it's always die to a freak accident. Sometimes it's Reborn and sometimes it is other strange and unsettling variations. There are many Tsunayoushi's in my dreams, but I know it's him. Sometimes he is a woman, sometimes a child, always changing of occupation, gender and social status. There are so many Tsunayoushi's I meet in my dreams but they are all 'him'. I have no other way to explain it. But recently…" Giotto clenched the hem of his pants tightly. "The dreams seem more real, or rather my dreams are seeping into my everyday life. I see strange things, sometimes smoke. I feel these dreams or hallucinations coming out to reach me. I have a hard time telling when I'm dreaming or living…. And that is my justification for staying with Tsunayoushi. For I fear that my dreams are a warning of some sort, telling me that if I don't take action now…then he will inevitably disappear one day, without a trace."

The clock's ticking seemed to be in full volume.

 _"I fear it._ " Giotto spoke barely above a whisper.

"But I know, this feeling inside me, you could call it a Hyper Intuition if you may, is present inside me so I may be of use to my little brother."

As a scientist and as a medical professional, Verde knew when it was time to draw the line.

"There is a scientific explanation for everything. Now, don't you think these dreams are caused by some type of guilt you may have? Perhaps you think you have failed as an elder brother, perhaps it's some sort of repressed trauma. As for the way you described it, not having any distinction from reality is a trait of mental depression, even schizophrenia."

Verde placed his patient's files back into the cabinet next to him, he moves his eyes to catch a glimpse of Giotto's reaction. He didn't look too convinced; he looked even upset, which was expected of any person to react to a mental diagnosis of that degree.

"This isn't like that at all." The young man at this point was close to snapping at the other. Does he not comprehend!? "These 'dreams' have reached new terrifying levels, more so when I began sleeping in Tsunayoushi's house. Sometimes I am hunted."

Verde's eyes flickered and Giotto didn't like that look not one bit.

"Hunted? By whom?"

"I don't know. Other times I am doing the killing, I'm some sort of Mafiosi, a leader perhaps. Sometimes I'm even a crowned prince. The times when my victims are screaming, or when a person tries to harm me, it feels concrete. The taste of fear, the adrenaline, I feel them through my body."

"Are you familiar with the term 'Hypnagogic Hallucinations'? It will occur when you aren't fully awake or the other. Mental phenomena that occur during this phase include lucid dreaming, hallucinations, out of body experiences and sleep paralysis. They will usually occur when stressed, and many people have experienced them at some point during their lives, but recurrent intense hallucinations can be a sign of an underlying medical condition which may require treatment." The man continued to click his pen every other moment. "Or, it is a mental issue. In that case psychological treatment is needed."

He emphasized 'Psychological Treatment', looking at the blond man in front of him with a mocking superiority, and Giotto scolded himself. He should have never come here, he told himself.

"So you're saying I'm schizophrenic. _Is that it_?" Giotto's patience was running out. "How can that be when I have never been hospitalized for any mental illness before? My record is clean."

"There are many cases when one is just fine, and out of the blue hits their schizophrenia. It usually occurs in young men in their 20's…" Verde's smirk never left his face. "That is my scientific guess anyway, much better than your hypothesis."

Giotto could not take any more of the other man's condescending tone. He stands up and takes his coat from the hanger.

"Science isn't everything Verde." The younger of the two says at the door, spiteful and annoyed.

"Yes it is." Says the elder man wisely, unaware and ignorant of how the world is complex and mysterious. How it didn't really apply to the laws of this universe, except the human one." We just don't have all the science as of this moment."

Giotto slams the office door roughly as Verde gets ready for his next patient.

* * *

When Tsunayoushi returns to his apartment , he is not surprised by the looks on his two elder brother's faces. They were absolutely livid, Giotto wouldn't even give him space or privacy, attempting to see what was under his suit, where the other bruises were.

"Who did this to you?" Dino asked not helping his younger brother from Giotto's clutches. This is justified, he reasoned. He winced as he saw a bruise on Tsunayoushi's chest.

Attempting to cover himself, the youngest out of the trio stumbled upon his words for a bit. "I fell down the stairs."

At that moment the door clicked open to let Reborn in. He took off his hat and coat, placing it on the hanger, but not before Dino notices a patch on Reborn's face.

"Tsunayoushi you are the worst liar." Giotto says, too angry to shout , too concerned to stop. " Tell me the truth this time, who hurt you?"

Dino looks back and forth between Tsunayoushi and Reborn. His brown eyes knowingly looked at them, and said "Ok, what is going on here? Did you two have a fight of some sort? Because if it is, Reborn…I think you took it too far."

"I didn't do anything, right Tsunayoushi?" The Italian man sits down on the couch, not even batting an eyelash. He's thinking ' What did you remember? How much did you remember? Is it time yet?'

Tsunayoushi doesn't say a thing, but as soon as Reborn is seated on the couch he stands up quickly, running to his room.

"Tsunayoushi!" Giotto called after him in worry. The door of his younger brother locked in his face. Dino attempts to coerce the boy to come out, to talk to him, but all they are met with is the same white door. The blond sighs and turns to his elder brother, Giotto was ferocious beyond belief. He looked at Reborn as if he were ready to pounce right then and there, so he did. He let the king of beasts consume his hatred for the other man.

"Get the _hell_  out of my brother's house! Better yet, get out of his life!" Dino attempted to stand in between them but only to be pushed to the side by both Reborn and Giotto. "All you do is cause him pain, because of you he can't think for himself. You, who has encouraged his low self-esteem. He can function without you! He is not yours and never will be! Get the hell out of my family!" He breathed in. " **He doesn't need you!"**

At that Reborn stands up, and looks at the other with eyes that seemed to bare no remorse. A true carnivore with the thrill of the kill.

"You're the one who is unwanted here. You're nothing but a hypocrite, always insensitive to your younger brother's feelings as a child, ashamed of him because of his mannerisms and cowardly disposition. Tsunayoushi doesn't even like you, _he hates you._ "

"That's to be expected—" Giotto smiled bitterly, as if it were all one big joke. "It's what I deserve after I've treated him so cruelly right?"

Right when Giotto finishes what he has to say, he turns and heads toward the room lent to him by his younger brother, and in that split second Dino notices something. At the moment Giotto turns to the room, there is something in his eyes.

It only donned on Dino the moment his elder brother shut the door what they were. They were his tears.

The faucet began to drip a bit, the light off Reborn's lighter was the only light in the house. As it flickered, he lighted up a cigarette, smoked it, and blew out a white cloud.

"You know…" Dino began, the taste of the cigarette is vanilla, he gathered. " iotto and Tsuna are very alike. You wouldn't think it, but they are. I guess only people that have lived with them their whole lives would know. Both are very sensitive to their feelings as well as others. They just know you. They just do." The blond seemed mature, his business face was on. A grand stallion. "They also have the same responses, but not the same reaction to things. I'm the only one that's different between the three of us. I'm not so forgiving."

At this, Reborn's looks at Dino through the corner of his eyes.

"The next time you hurt either of them with your actions and words, I'll be the one angry."

The blond storms out the house, angry and in need of a drink. He does not give the other a second look, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to care. There he leaves Reborn left to his own thoughts, no reaction on his face but only one of cold indifference. He keeps on smoking his cigarette, the tobacco scent is a strong one.

"Like a butterfly to a cocoon," Reborn warns as he lights out his cigarette on the ashtray. "Soon you two will be ripped off.

* * *

Mukuro lifts his head to see an empty classroom, a nostalgia hits him at full force. A dark green board that reminded him of voices and laughter, the chalk that reminded him to take notes. The only difference was that the seats usually filled with students were empty, he was the only one in the classroom, and only then did he realize how big the room actually was. School is made from the people that attend.

"Ah," The indigo haired man says as he lifts his head up. "I'm dreaming again."

Mukuro adjusts his vision to the only other person in the room, his head down and his shoulders moving slowly. It was Sawada Tsunayoushi, not the present time one, but the tween that was bordering on adolescent, the Tsunayoushi that Mukuro fell in love with. Looking at the boy's sleeping form brought back many memories that felt dear to him. Tsunayoushi's shoulders and back were of a great comfort to the young Mukuro's school days. Whether it would be a problem at home, or a boring day at school, those shoulders and mop of hair reassured him that he was strong. He had to be strong, because he wanted to be by his side.

As the heterochromatic man stands up he notices his reflection on the windows to the side of him. His reflection is one of a young teenager donning a fashionable yet rebellious way about him. Young and Angry.

He smiles that cruel smile of his and laughs through his nose. Time flies by so quickly doesn't it, he thinks when he turns once again toward Tsunayoushi. He walks as he takes off his jacket, only to drape it over the other's shoulders as a blanket of some sort.

The windows of the classroom were all open as the sun had begun to set. But even though the bloody sun was towering over the whole classroom, Mukuro could only stare at the person in front of him. He leans closer to the other boy's ear.

"You don't understand my love, neither of us does," Mukuro says to the sleeping boy, the alice stuck in the dreamland. "Why else do these type of things keep happening?"

"Because of fate."

Slick white shoes hit the ground in a playful fashion. Byakuran stands with a suit ridden of its jacket, his monochromatic scheme is a dreary comparison to the colour and life of the school. He stood out.

He waves at the confused boy in front of him. "Hello there!"

The indigo haired boy's eyes narrow in mistrust, his shoulders grow tense but at the same time alert as he steps in front of the sleeping boy's desk. Shielding him.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my dreams?"

Byakuran reaches for a small bag of starbursts that he had in his pocket.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Muku-chan!" The white haired man exclaimed. "I've known you since forever, but this is the first time I'm meeting you in this life. Still the same as ever!"

Mukuro had never seen the man in front of him in his life, but he plays along anyway.

"Quite rude, don't you agree? That you know my name but I don't know yours." He does not leave Tsunayoushi's side. "Whatever should I call you?"

"Hmmm, my name's Byakuran! But you can call me Byaku-byaku!"

"Charmed," Mukuro says not really meaning it. "Now I'll ask you again, who are you? Why are you in my dreams?"

The white haired man suppresses a giggle, the bag of candy making noises every time he reaches for more.

"I'm god." He says in between chews, as if talking about the weather, as if saying ' 2+2=4'. That sort of thing.

A far off bell begins to ring, destiny was turning.

The classroom's desks and chairs had begun to decay, turning into nothing but old wood and dust. A few leaves were growing from a stubby leg, but the three people in the room stay in the exact same spots, in the exact same positions.

Mukuro had on his poker face, a smirk with sharp eyes that he had perfected over the years. There were no signs of disbelief, no grand turmoil in his mind. "We are asleep." He proposed. "Our life is a dream. But we wake up sometimes, just enough to know that we are dreaming. Am I right? But only a few people in the world have caught on to this?"

Amused at the other's hypothesis, Byakuran pops another starburst into his mouth and walks up toward the teacher's desk. He leans on it. "You're warm!" He says in a sing-songy voice. "— but not really. Everything you have dreamed, was merely you existing in all the books you are written in. You're a smart boy Muku-chan, so please try to catch up. The you in this world, when you are awake is living this life. But when you are sleeping you are merely reliving countless of lives all at the same time. You are catching glimpses of what you were, or what you have become. Of course the sleep cycle is 90 to 110 minutes, that is when you experience this 'phenomena'."

Right when Byakuran closes his mouth and inserts another candy, Mukuro yelps in pain and clenches his discolored eye. He had never felt this amount of pain before in his life, it felt like the white haired man's voice was reaching out and probing his brain. Tearing down his skull. At that moment there was an overwhelming amount of imagery being sent to his mind, it was like a photo slide show with an inhumane and impossible speed. He collapsed onto the floor withering in agony, revealing to Byakuran the view of his 'infected' eye. There were no pupils or iris. Instead there is a small little film screen, showcasing every single thing that Mukuro was seeing at that exact same moment in his mind.

"Everything you see here in this dream, right now, the meeting of me and you, it's out of the ordinary. It's a disturbance in the flow of this universe. This has never happened before."

Mukuro stopped shaking, composing himself as if nothing had just happened. His breathing was erratic, yet he did not let it tarnish his pride. Because in the moment he was assaulted with countless of imagery, he saw countless of his past lives as if he were reading each one, and it stopped right when Tsunayoushi fought with his godfather Reborn. Now, in the man's right eye was a kanji for the number 'six'.

A mist flame forms in his right eye as his stance changes to one of combat. A trident, deadly, and menacing is on his other hand, pointing at god's neck.

**The Realm of Demons**

"I understand everything now. Well that is, everything that you have let us know, correct?" Mukuro looked absolutely mad, a large smirk donning his face, his eyes wild as a beast. "Please humor me, oh Divine Creator! I'm afraid I have not yet grasped all of this." Mukuro's other eye twitched uncontrollably, his voice in a shaky tone. "Does this mean..…every single person in this world has a book written specifically for them? You've casted them a soul and you've been reusing their souls over and over again? Is this how this universe works? Is this the truth of this universe?"

Byakuran continued to eat his sugary concoctions as Mukuro spoke, not even a least bit concerned of the sharp ends aimed at his neck.

"You're the only person that has figured this out. You deserve a gold star!" The white haired man out of nowhere took out a party popper, unleashing its streamers and confetti. "Everyone else, by that I mean all the people in your life, those who think they've learned something about how this universe works, think that only they have books written for them, that they are merely characters." Light amethyst eyes brightened. "— but that's not entirely true! Sure, I have used them to learn from their experiences, but this is a give and take relationship. They know nothing that everyone else in this world is exactly like them. This is how the world I created works. It's very convenient for me, especially to manage. It's way better than Shouchi's world. His universe sucks; his is so small compared to this one! There is only one planet that humans can live on and it's called  _'Earth'._  What a dumb name!"

Mukuro's trident does not waver. He wants to ask so many questions, mainly ' _Who is Shouichi? Why Earth? Everyone knows it is an inhabitable planet. Does this mean there are many different universe's besides this one? Is my existence important?'_

"So Tsunayoushi and the other others only think that this problem exists within our little sphere, but really it's on a much wider scale. This affects the whole universe you have created." As soon as the indigo haired man muttered those shocking revelations, the whole classroom turns to dusk.

Mukuro couldn't feel himself; he could only feel wind all around passing where his ears should be. He smells a small fragrance of lotus flowers and hears the sound of water dripping. A tap someone forgot to close.

"Did you see all those times you accidentally killed Tsunayoushi when you were trying to protect him? I almost feel sorry for you."

The voice was coming from all around, as if it were on a speaker at a department store. No escape from Byakuran's voice.

Mukuro clenched his teeth.

"He always chose to die; I won't kill him this time. I'm sure of it."

"You can't fight destiny." Byakuran's voice echoed.

Suddenly Mukuro begins to feel his body again, but could only see the blackness of the cosmos. He feels something heavy weighing him down and his clothes becoming damp. He does not see it, but deduces the only thing he could associate this feeling as. A bath, a dip in the pool, the ocean. Trapped. Chained. Aborted.

He begins to feel rage. The rage of an apocalyptic adolescence.

**"This whole world can burn for all I care."**

"Are you angry with Hibari?" Byakuran asked like a parent scolding a son.

"Hibari doesn't know what true pain is." Mukuro does not move his lips yet his still speaking, although he is not sure why or how. "He is selfish and spoiled. He has no personality none whatsoever, and yet—Tsunayoushi…he…"

The water suddenly engulfs him whole, like the sea sinking down a ship, its anchor stuck in place.

A pain hit his eye so great, that it made him want to die right there and then. It was the worst feeling in the world, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, just pain, nothingness all around.

 _"Tsunayoushi—_ " Mukuro says as he reaches out his arm to nothingness. " _… is an idiot._ "

* * *

As Mukuro fell deeper and deeper into an all-consuming darkness, he remembers a moment in his youth.

* * *

Mukuro was at his room working on his desk. He had a glass case open and he placed a picture frame inside the said case inside. Next to him were jars filled with a pallet of colours and shapes. They were dead butterflies that he had collected severely over the last few weeks. It was his newest hobby and he was the sort of person that once claimed a hobby, lived and breathed it. He was a boy that grew up to be a man of many talents.

As he prepared his tongs to grab the first butterfly for preservation, the door swung open.

"Mukuro-kun!" Tsunayoushi smiled that shy smile of his. "Me and Chrome-chan finished making the curry!"

"My, my, is that so? Then I'll be there in just a moment."

"Ah, Mukuro-kun? What is this?" The brown haired boy motioned his hand toward the items on theother boy's desk. In closer inspection his eyes widened a considerable amount. "Hiiee!? Mukuro-kun are those butterflies?"

"Yes," Mukuro flashed the other a charming smile. "It's my new hobby, butterfly preservation. Beautiful aren't they?"

The brown haired boy nodded wearily." "But…"

"But what?" Mukuro asked as he placed a Monarch butterfly at the center of his display.

Isn't this too sad? I mean…they're dead. Isn't this cruel?"

"With the things that I love , I want to preserve them as long as possible. I am not content on just looking at them."

"Hence why you caught these butterflies right?" Tsunayoushi tapped the jars lightly, his eyes sad.

" Yes, I'd rather kill the things that I love rather for them to escape me."

"Haha, well at least you're not like that with people!"

Mukuro smiles.

* * *

What you are going to be, what you are destined to become is determined long before you are born. But in your case, just as Tsunayoushi's case…as well as every single person alive in this universe, your souls are different, because all of you were never born.

_Just what do you mean we were never born? Answer me._

I can't. You would not be able to understand me as you are now Mukuro. You are but a mere human, telling you all this would be meaningless.

_And why is that?_

Because you'd go mad. A human who knows too much would go absolutely mad.

_Are you truly god? Then answer me this, why do some people suffer while others do not? Who is Shouchi?_

I am god. Yet, not truly. I am the god of this universe, but if you are asking me if I am the god that has created me and all of the universes, then no, no I am not. He's my boss. I'm more of a manager here to reinforce god's will. I will only tell you this much about myself.

_So are you the one who created us or not?_

I created you but not this world; there are only three people in this world that I did not create. Two were gifts by a colleague, the other, I have no control over, he's a guest who has overstayed his welcome. You could say I am in debt.

Mukuro could feel his body once more. He started to regain some sort of clarity into his thinking pattern, he furrowed his eyebrows and felt water all around him, he felt himself floating.

_Why are you telling me all this?_

The first human to be created in my image is you, Mukuro. You're also close to Tsunayoushi, I want to ask you to get the key back for me, if you do I'll burn the ending of this world and write one to suit your desires.

_Why is the key so important to you?_

It is job related, I can't disclose any more information on it. Do we have a deal or not?

Mukuro opened his eyes slowly and realized he was in his most hated nightmare.

He was in a tube being kept prisoner, he was kept in bondage with chains and a white straight jacket. It was a watery grave; the only thing keeping him alive were the dozens of tubes attached to his body, the oxygen mask on his face.

' _We humans'_  he spoke in his mind. ' _and everything we have ever created and achieved only stand to us. Is that correct?'_

"Of course, human achievement does not matter to us in the slightest." Byakuran said in front of the tube, the only thing separating them mere glass.

' _Then why should a supreme being as yourself make deals with me? Surely you can get the key back; after all you're the god of this world after all.'_  Mukuro's hair was moving back and forth in the water, the top of the tube had lotus blossoms that would sometimes float into the sight of his vision.

"I can't go in while Reborn is there." This was the first time the deity looked anything but pleased. "You know that."

_'Reborn?'_

"You don't know who he is?" Byakuran looked surprised, but then, his eyes froze in deep thought. "I guess you didn't remember _that._  He must have erased all memory of that," The white haired man raised a finger to his head as if solving a giant puzzle." Then I wonder why did he let everyone remember when he killed Tsunayoushi, hmmm."

The chains inside the water tank rattled.

_'I don't understand what is going on, but the only thing I am certain of is that I am not doing your dirty work. All I know is that you aren't all powerful, you have your limits. There is a way to defeat you and I'll find a way. I'll just stick close to Reborn."_

At this Byakuran's pupils erupted.

"You're going against God?You are doing this all for one man? For Tsunayoushi and because of your ego?! You humans astound me!" The white haired man sighs as if it really mattered to him, takes one last pout and turns away. He faces an elevator at the edge of the room.

"Well Mukuro, since I don't have the key with me, I can't foresee anything that will happen to this world. As for Reborn, this is the first time in all your lives that you have teamed up with him…that's strange. Who in the world teams up with the Prince of Darkness?"

Mukuro's eye opened rapidly. _Satan? Lucifer? Beelzebub? Reborn is… **Mephistopheles?**_

 _'Where are you going now?'_  Mukuro asks as the white haired man enters the elevator.

"I have to go to my boss and make something up."

_'And where is that?'_

As the doors begin to close Byakuran opens a bag of white and pink marshmallows. The sound of the bag opening gave off a saccharine scent.

"To Heaven's Gate of course."

Everything turned black.

* * *

**Please wake up. None of this is real. You're just having a nightmare. Please wake up.**

When Mukuro opened his eyes, he realized that the voice who was calling him, the hand reaching out for him in the darkness was none other than Tsunayoushi.

He clenched both his fists while still in bed, tightens his eyes and suspires angrily in indignation.

_"Idiot."_

* * *

Tsunayoushi opened his eyes to find himself at the bottom of the sea with coral reefs and anemone. A great Hump Back whale passed him by, as did a small group of jelly fish. He had on no clothing and had his knees to his chest as he stared at his surroundings.

He was unusually calm for someone floating underneath the seven seas, but perhaps the reason he was so calm was that he had the ability to breathe underwater. It smelled like rain and the sun. He looked up to see a kaleidoscope of colours on the ocean's surface, but what interested him the most was that there was another 'him'. This one had clothing dated way back to 18th to 19th century Europe. He was dressed as a young noble, standing on the ocean's ground with shined shoes and an extravagant coat. But the peculiar thing was that as the other 'him' opened his mouth, small red bubbles came gushing out. There was a wound in his stomach.

"Hello," Is what Tsunayushi says to his other self and the other replies back with the same gesture.

"What are you doing here?"

The other Tsunayoushi smiled. "I'm drowning." He said it as if it was an obvious thing, like talking about letters and buttercups. "I had a little scuffle on the boat I was on, during the commotion I was thrown off the boat."

"I see." Tsunayoushi reminds himself to try to find which volume of the books would that life be. "Well then, how come I'm here being me, and you're over there being you?"

"We're all just being together." The other Tsunayoushi responded as a small school of zebra fish encircled him, leaving Tsunayoushi's vision clouded by white and black. The two colours mixed, the water level disappearing as if someone unplugged the ocean's cork.

"You are another version of me, or maybe I'm another version of you?"

Tsunayoushi was now fully clothed. He wore only a hospital night gown all the way to his knees. He looked up to find himself standing in front of a small cottage house, those that looked like a fairytale. A young girl walked out of the house, carrying two pails of fresh milk, she begins to walk, but only to trip on a small pebble.

"Don't cry over spilled milk." She muttered to herself as she sniffed. She looked up to see ta male standing in front of her with a concerned look. She and Tsunayoushi shared the same face, they looked like identical twins even though their hair length varied.

"You're right to be confused." The girl responded to her male counterpart. "If we were truly together then why don't we experience the same things?"

Tsunayoushi dropped to the floor to help pick up the girl's things, but as soon as he touched the milk, the scene changed into one of an aristocratic castle made of glass with flowers all around. They all bloomed at the same time, as if welcoming the guest who arrived on his knees.

He was in front of a throne, with another 'him' standing and looking down at him. He looked a bit older, more gentle and less of a child. Someone worthy to be a king.

"We do experience the same things." The older Tsunayoushi told the other in a soothing voice as he crouched down to one knee. "We have to, and this is because we are all fundamentally the same. We are all the same, we are one, one soul. We will always end up the same way."

The older Tsunayoushi hands his double a gloved hand in support. Tsunayoushi stands looking quite embarrassed as the man identical to him flashed him a kind smile.

_Is this really me?_

As if reading the other's mind the elder Tsunayoushi laughs and says, "Of course I am. Who would I be but you?"

"Oh." Says the modern Tsunayoushi, the one who has a hospital nightgown. "I understand now. The thing we experience is how life in itself binds us."

"Right," Say's the aristocrat. "It's just a different perspective."

"But why do I exist?" An innocent question. "Why do we exist?"

"Because of the Gods."

Tsunayoushi suddenly sees a row of books all aligned delicately on a shelf. The shelf had destroyed the roof for it was as high as the heavens and on top of it was a magnificent tree that had millions of bird nests. A tree of knowledge. A tree of birth. Chirping of birds could be heard and twigs fell lightly toward the library's carpet. Byakuran stood next to the roots of the tree, making stacks of books and recording the numbers and titles. He smiled at Tsunayoushi tenderly, his eyes shining like stars and his mouth like a snow white sweet kitten's.

"Why do I have life?" The brown haired man asked the deity.

Byakuran walked in casual steps and caressed the others face slowly. Tsunayoushi did not back away from his touch for it comforted him and made him feel dead. Eternal peace.

"Because I longed for you."

"Why do I have life?" Tsunayoushi asked again as he was mesmerized by the other's amethyst eyes.

"Because I wished nothing more than the best for you— for all of you."

"Then what will I amount to in the end?"

But he had no one to answer his questions as the scene changed once more. It was a hallway with millions of doors, and since Tsunayoushi did not recognize the building as his own, he began to panic. It reminded him of Reborn's story. The house with millions of doors. What good would it do if he took a single step forward? It would all end the same, everything would be the same. He's be in the same hallway with different doors, he'd still be Sawada Tsunayoushi that one guy who used to cry every day at kindergarten and that liked his miso soup warm.

He lowered his body, crouching down in the hallway.

"I give up. I won't fight this anymore."

He stays like that for quite some time, letting time go pass hour after hour. Sooner or later, he went to sleep.  _Who knows_  he thought _. Maybe I can sleep for millions of years like that one story._  He drifts off to sleep.

* * *

"Tsunayoushi."

_What is it?_

"Tsunayoushi."

_Don't turn on the lights._

"Herbivore!"

Tsunayoushi woke up to still be surrounded by millions of doors, the passageway still narrow and never ending. He tried to search for the sound again, confused and worried that he had imagined Kyouya's voice.

"Herbivore, look up!"

Instinctively, he looks up to see the ceiling, surprised at what he found there.

It was Kyouya's arm, just his arm and nothing else.

"Hibari-san!" Tsunayoushi straightened his gown to try to lengthen it because of the cold. "I'm right here!"

"Grab my hand!"

Tsunayoushi jumps on his tiptoes, miraculously grabbing the other's arm. Kyouya's hand to Tsunayoushi felt strong, concrete. He was being pulled upward and upward, the ceiling going through him as if it were a curtain.

When he was completely taken in by the ceiling, Tsunayoushi comes face to face with Kyouya. The taller man was wearing a black men's kimono, complete with a half coat and the more he looked at him, Tsunayoushi felt awoken. The brown haired man couldn't explain it, but he felt that  _this_  Kyouya was the real one. Not the one he would meet in his dreams, if that made sense.

" Hibari-san." Is all Tsunayoushi could say, embarrassed ( and not to mention cold) because of his hospital gown. He forgets about his embarrassment to look around his surroundings.

"But this," Tsunayoushi whispered. " _—Is my living room._ "

The taller man sat on the coach, inspecting the other as if he were some intruder.

"What are you doing in my dreams?" Kyouya asked rudely.

 _Hibari-san felt it too_ , Tsunayoushi thought,  _he knows I'm me._

"I don't know...what's happening to us Hibari-san?"

"I don't know."

"Will we ever wake up?"

The question was met with silence.

"This isn't my first dream today. The setting kept changing, it was very different from the other times. It feels like…those lapses of times, those strange illusions we see in our everyday life." Hibari looked at Tsunayoushi with scrutinizing eyes. " And you, why are you wearing such an indecent thing?"

"How is this indecent!?" Tsunayoushi asked in indignation.

"You aren't a women." Hibari said casually. "It is quite strange to wear a dress."

"It is a hospital gow—" But before the brown haired man could defend his masculinity Hibari throws his jacket at the other. ' _Wear it_ ' Kyouya's eyes said.

"Thank you." As soon as Tsunayoushi put the coat on, he was met with warmth. The coat was of good quality, it was too big, but it would do." This sort of reminds me of something…"

Kyouya blinked.

"When I was small, I liked to try on my father's shoes and try to walk with them. It was a secret I shared with no one. I don't know why, but when I tried it on I—"

The man with kind eyes stops in his speech, closes his mouth and is in deep reminisce. His eyes flicker for a moment, and Kyouya is watching it all. What could the herbivore be thinking? A moment passes, and Tsunayoushi's eyes grew to one of an omnivore.

"There are billions of people in the world, in the universe. All of us are defined by our feelings, thoughts, ideas, I am pretty sure, somewhere in the world, in the cosmos there is someone just like me." Tsunayoushi looked to the wall in front of him and not at Kyouya, his whole body turned the other direction. "So if there is someone just like me, then is my sense of 'self' really all that important to begin with?"

"And if our entire existence, the entire human race were to end one day, would it be noticed?"

Kyouya's countenance did not change. "You are frightened of your self-realization to cease in our death." He added.

The brown haired man nods, still not looking at the other.

"Then you are a fool and a coward." At this statement Kyouya grinds his teeth, his eyes enraged. "It is common knowledge that even though 'life' seems permanent it is actually the smallest moment in the life of the universe. You would know this if you weren't such a herbivore."

"I'm not a coward." Tsunayoushi snapped back, the way he actually made any attempt to retort to Kyouya was a shock that even surprised himself. "I'm not afraid of death... the thing I'm truly afraid of is  _love_. And by that I mean platonic love... Death is predictable, while love on the other hand is something that leaves you rotting from the inside without caring about the question if you had enough of it."

Love was something both of them had not addressed, so both of them do not instigate the subject any further.

"Hi-Hibari san…H-hibari-san…" By that time Tsunayoushi was concentrating so hard on holding himself back from crying he could no longer speak at all. But even so, he musters the only thing he can say. He covers his mouth, roughly. His voice muffled as he spoke. " _I don't want to die, I don't want to die_."

"Calm yourself." Kyouya commanded as he stood in front of Tsunayoushi, making sure the other had no choice but to look at his face.

"How can you be so calm?" Tsunayoushi inquired as he began looking at the ground.

"Because this is a dream."

"How can we be sure?"

"We need to wake up."

"How would we do that?"

The charcoal haired man walked up to Tsunayoushi's bookcase, fingering the spines of whatever caught his eye.

"We wait, of course." Kyouya took a book off the shelf entitled 'Nipponia nippon'. He flipped through its pages and looked at the pictures of birds. "To make certain this is a dream that we are both aware of, we will confirm it by both meeting in the hallway of our apartment doors."

The brown haired man nodded, nervous as he twiddled his thumbs. The sound of chirping birds could be heard in the distance.

"Tsunayoushi," Kyouya's voice reached the other's ears, and that time only did their eyes lock. "There is only one thing I have in comment to your concerns."

The brown haired man gulped as Kyouya's eyes turn into something soft, no bite into it, no frost.

"There is nothing to fear—"His voice could be nobody but Kyouya's. " –when I'm by your side."

In that split second, Tsunayoushi was speechless, how could he possibly respond to that? He wasn't sure of his feelings, the bittersweet air engulfed him and left him confused. But as Hibari kept looking at him more thoughts started to sprout out of his mind.

'Without the key I have a choice now. Why am I acting like I'm dead? There is an infinite number of possibilities I can pick and choose without anyone telling me otherwise!'

Kyouya inspired him. The trust they both had seeped through their eyes.

'I know my self-worth! Maybe I…' He imagines the face of the Tsunayoushi he met in the glass castle with millions of flowers '...maybe I can become a king too.'

The shorter of the two men stands up proudly and abruptly to say—"I swear to you that I'll change this world! And no one can stop me otherwise!"

* * *

-then Tsunayoushi woke up.


	11. Cats Eat Raw Meat

"I've kept you waiting for such a long time."

This is what Byakuran says as he takes a step outside the elevator and on towards the white smoke floor, on towards what the people that inhabit this place call 'Heaven's Gate.'

The person standing on the other side of the gate is a young man with orange hair and an old man at his side. The younger man is a bit shorter than Byakuran, he has worried eyes and occasionally moves his glasses with his index finger.

" More like forever…" Mumbled Shoichi under his breath. He bit hard on his nails, a sharp cut was directed to his thumb. He was impatient and he had no idea how to get the other man to listen to his concerns.

The white haired man smiled pleasantly at Shouichi as he handed a card to the elderly man. The elderly man nods and taps the steel bars.

"Thank you Saint Peter." Is all Byakuran says as the gates open.

Smoke appears in a haze revealing a beautifully constructed city made of white marble and purity. There were no cars and there were no lights, yet the city was brightly lit like a fluorescent bulb. The city had no horizon and no sky, but the place was filled with busy beings not concerned whether the non- existent sky would fall on them or if the sun would die. All of them had on different cuts and styles of clothing yet all of it were that same shade of white just like their city. And just like in every other city everyone is so busy that they aren't able to spare anyone else a glance other than the road that was in front of them. Mostly all of them carried white suitcases to carry paper and other office paraphernalia, it was a city filled with businessmen, office workers and secretaries. The office workers looked forward to sunshine the most. Sunshine Workers. Serious employees.

Byakuran found it boring.

His eyes shine as he looked at his old friend. " Shou-chan, how is your universe coming along? Does it still only have one inhabitable planet?"

The orange haired man yawned and the rings underneath his eyes become more pronounced. His glasses slipping slightly. " I initially made two inhabitable planets but I thought that my job would be much easier dealing with the lonely functions of the universe if I had just one planet with intelligent life. But humans are such a handful…"

Byakuran walked side by side his friend as they both made their way to City Hall.

"I made earth uninhabitable in my universe because I thought it would be fun! I wanted something different from yours." The papers fluttered in the wind while being tucked safely inside the white haired man's suitcase. " Speaking of fun, humans sure are strange don't you agree Shou-chan! They think I'm the true god, as if! Handling so many things…I'm not that amazing!"

"We're not gods, we're more like Kings." Shouichi opened the glass door in front of him, his reflection staring at him. "We're just a part of a galactic union where the 'King' of one world is connected to the next 'King' of another world. Humans live because  _we_  have been successful in creating them with the resources God has given us. We are just all a part of a high council. So meaning to say, Earth is my fiction but it is also a reality now. God has created us to be able to exist himself."

That's selfish isn't it?

The two men were inside the City hall building, even though it looked more like a bank hall. The other Kings and Queens were standing leisurely in line, looking at their folders adding a certain thing here and there. Rechecking if they printed that file or this document, that sort of thing. This is a place of office workers who love their job. This is a place where a King and Queen care about their children with their whole heart and  _that_  is  **love.**

Shouichi extended his index finger to push his glasses forward. He sighed heavily and looked at his companion. His restrained annoyance showed no matter how much he tried to hide it behind his black rimmed glasses. His glasses were not a part of his face. " After this, I'd appreciate it if we talked for a while." He said after much debate, gulped and waited for the other's reaction in calm anticipation.

" Oh?" Byakuran's eyes shine a bit.

" It is about our gift exchange…."

Byakuran's eyes darkened but his calm demeanor stayed intact. Still pleasant.

" Of course, after all we must catch up." His lips moved, pronouncing all the syllables carefully. "After this would you like to go to my world or yours?" Papers are heard being shuffled around. "I'd prefer to go to your place Shouichi, it's been so long since I've been to your world. I want to see how far the humans have come along over there and how my gifts are doing as well."

The orange haired man nodded as if he were thinking of something else, thoughtful yet approving. His bangs under his eyes moved as he scanned the area until he arrived at the far end of the room where the light was completely cut off. Like someone forgot to change a dull light bulb, there was light in the other side of the room but it was very dim. The only other light that seemed to exist in that area is a single candle next to the receptionist window. There is a line there as well, but the attire that the people wore is quite different from the white clothed people. Their clothing were black as night, theirs were the darkness of a light coal. They seemed like cats in the shadows, the pearly whites in their eyes shining through. They spoke the same as the other workers did. After all they were one and the same. There are only Black and White jobs in this place but they both serve the same purpose.

Byakuran smiled nostalgically at the cloudy line. He was born with black wings yet he chose the white ones that he envied so. He smiled at the line until his eyes were caught with one of the workers who wore a fedora, who wore a suit that meant business.

 _"You."_  Mouthed Reborn from the distance. A calm anger on his face.

And at that, Byakuran knew it was in his best interest to hurry with his delayed paperwork. For a trickster never wants to be caught.

* * *

Hibari Kyouya fell asleep at a certain time on weekdays unless a situation called for his utmost attention. That was either work or family circumstances. Only those two. On weekdays he allowed himself to sleep at a much later time only on the exception that something interesting was taking place.

He is a morning rooster.

As usual Kyouya set his alarm clock before sleep, as well as made sure that Hibird was well taken care of for the night. He made sure to turn off every electrical appliance and took one last look in the mirror as he brushed his teeth and flossed. He checked the water taps twice.

What he had not planned for was to have a night of dreams, the static that disintegrated his life into nothing more than a fairy tale.

_What will he and Tsunayoushi amount to in the end?_

Kyouya closed his eyes as he laid down on his black sheets.

* * *

A film of tape comes across a blank canvas in which it is known as 'Kyouya's mind'.

* * *

Kyouya is in the middle of black nothingness and stands in his usual black suit, the films of tape are hovering horizontally and diagonally in rapid motion. It was a theater with only one guest in an amaranthine gloom. The man knows that it is time for another night of investigation, another night of dreams. He does not move from the spot he awoke in, but is on guard to what the strips of film tape present him.

' _It's all trash'_ , he thinks as his memories flash right before his eyes, he sees himself as a child with a broken arm looking serenely out a window, Namimori playground struggles, the forest he used to go with his grandfather on bird watching events. He chooses not to look at the past ( for he is not the type of man to do so) and searches for something in his present or future, for Kyouya believes that the past isn't doomed to repeat itself like so many people say. He believes that there won't be a third time for things that happen twice.

"I don't know what it is to win."

Kyouya looks up at the one he calls herbivore, his mate's lips are demonstrated on one of the film strips in his mind and says— "Everything is a competition or a fight to you Hibari-san."

Tsunayoushi's face is looking right up at the viewer. The pearly whites of his eyes glimmered, the same glimmer that his eyes had when he realized that Vongola's hands were soiled in a way he never knew. That he should have never known. A secret organization.

"As for me, I don't really know what it means to win or to lose Hibari-san .It's because I never even try..."

These words were said to Kyouya casually over tea, he remembers it to be one of those evenings when the sun wasn't getting any higher yet the stacks of papers on their office tables were.

The footage in the film tape around the dark haired man accelerated, as if someone were rewinding the tapes from the beginning. Kyouya closed his eyes and could only hear the rewinding take place followed by a great gust of wind near his ears. A tambourine begins to ring, a violin sings outward and a trumpet joins in harmony. A piercing symphony played with the same tune as the carousel followed by small sounds of paper crumbling, tinfoil crumbling around hot sweet potatoes—-they were the reels of tape catching on fire. If it were anyone else's eyes , Kyouya would doubt this incident had ever occurred, but they were his eyes, they were  _his_ , the ones that saw the grey clouds sway along in the breeze of his mind. He was on fire.

His fist tightened and the charcoal haired man replies to Tsunayoushi with the same remark as in the past.

**"That's because you're a herbivore."**

He takes a step forward and falls down in an endless hole as the world inside his head began to destroy itself.

' _It's not just the ones who fall in love who are herbivores._ ' A voice says as he falls into the unknown but it sounded a bit sad.

* * *

Steel eyes open to hear someone calling him by his first name. As a reflex he opens his eyes and stands up.

" Kyouya-kun!"

He didn't wake up to a soft bed with black sheets that he picked out for himself at the local department store, no, he woke up to see the town square of Namimori. His hometown that he loved and protected even when he was far away. The town square that was right across the park that had ducks as their main attraction. Nothing could come close to those memories…yet, what was he doing here? Wasn't he in his apartment in the city?

"Kyouya-kun!" He turns his head to his mother, a much younger version of his mother. The wrinkles that he knew were to be hers were no longer present, her old age no longer visible. Her dark hair was kept tame in a bun, her clothes proper and kept. She smoothed her cream dress with her gloved hands.

She looked a bit nervous, exasperated. A limousine was parked behind her; a chauffeur was standing obediently to the side of the car, waiting for the madam to finish her business.

"Kyouya-kun! Please come here this instant."

Kyouya opened his mouth to say ' _what are you spouting mother, I'm not a child'_ , although he stopped and stared when he turned to look at her, for he saw a small little body making his way to the woman. A boy with dark raven hair went up to her. He seemed familiar, as if that little boy were a part of him. The cry of a crow was heard.

" Mother," The little boy called, "What is it?"

That little boy was none other than Hibari Kyouya.

Right when he saw his younger self and mother argue quietly, that was when he realized he wasn't supposed to be there.  _Here_ , at that time. No, at  _this_  time, his dreams were nothing but memories.

* * *

History and Biology were one of Kyouya's favorite subjects as a child. He did well in all subjects because he was prodigy(or so they told him), but as an adult he found it all useless. He enjoyed it nevertheless and would often recite in his head the geological periods going back millions of years ago beginning from the Cretaceous period. The Jurassic period was one of his favorites due to all the information scientists and his textbooks had on the marine and aquatic life as well as many bird species. He wanted them to regenerate and become reborn just for him in the small town of Namimori. Archaeopteryx could help the community in many ways, such as sending secret messages, working for the CIA, KGB, or FBI. Diplodocus could help with apple picking, but all in all, it was just a child's wish.

" Kyouya-kun, please met your new father!"

The Elder Kyouya was nothing but a ghost in his old home. He stayed firm in place and did not even question the change in surroundings, this was all becoming too familiar to him. Nothing fazed him. He knew that the ghosts of memories linger, he did not want to be here, but the dream wanted something to be known to him. Regardless of what it wanted him to learn, to know, he knew this one in particular, this one among his many ghosts was one of his most hated ones.

His mother was seated proudly on a luxurious sofa next to a man in a wooden chair. The man looked nothing like Kyouya, yet he demanded respect when he had not done a thing to deserve it. Kyouya's elder brother named Alaude was seated on a parallel sofa facing the young Kyouya, while the boy sat next to their mother. A picture perfect family.

The child's eyes were dark but had a shine of innocence to them. He looked at the unknown man up and down, sizing him up and as if making a firm decision. He knew his decision to be the right one, especially when he saw the look his elder brother had on his face; he was also not impressed over  _this_  man that their mother brought home.

"That is not yours, that is my father's chair." The little Kyouya said nonchalantly. His mother gasped at the boy's rudeness, stunned on what to reprimand him with.

The man obviously bewildered and a bit offended retained his composure and coughed, "— But I am your father, I married your mother." He offered.

The Elder Kyouya was a ghost, not being paid attention to in-between the not so happy family. He looked at his younger self as he opened his mouth and told his new stepfather with such cold eyes, as if he were looking at a Pterosaurs fossil from the Cretaceous period beneath a lens—

"You're my mother's husband but you will  _never_ be my father."

* * *

That night he was forbidden to eat supper and instead looked at birds in his encyclopedia his father had given him on his birthday. The present was received shortly before his father died of cancer. It was a disease that leaves you rotting from the inside; it was a disease that morphed his father into a different person. Cancer had made the pride of his father reduce itself into nothing more but ashes and strands of hair. The cure for cancer, he thought as a child would be found very shortly in his adulthood. But as time went by Kyouya in his adult age had not found one yet. It did not exist.

It reminded the elder Kyouya of a certain moment in class, a day that fell on Father's day. He had nothing much to do and went home on those days. Kusakabe Tetsuya would often join him, offering to go out and eat Nabe at his home or suggest a secret place that had no crowding allowed. Knowing it would be rude to decline Kyouya accepted those offers.

Tetsuya was the only one who sat next to him in class as well as the only one who was allowed to eat lunch with Kyouya. His family owned a grocery store in Namimori known for its fresh produce and decent prices. He was a boy with dark hair and tan skin from being out in the sun too long, a stern youth who lead a straight path. As his personality followed, Tetsuya didn't care how much Kyouya bit him to death, struck him, or pushed him around. He was set on following the other boy's ideals and believed him to be the most intelligent out of all his peers. After a few trials which lasted a few weeks, Kyouya had accepted him as one of his own. He accepted in calling Tetsuya his first friend.

"What about you Hibari-san? What sorts of things do you do on Father's day?" A teacher asked him out of curiosity. Tetsuya and Kyouya looked up from the backpack area toward their teacher with indifferent eyes.

"I don't do much on father's day."

"Ah, why is that Hibari-san?" The children around her continued to play with the toy blocks and painted pictures on construction paper. They were Father's day cards with wishes written in them and affectionate words, promises that only a child could make. A paper crane fluttered as it was taken outside by an intruding wind.

The little boy raised his head and replied "Because my father is dead."

* * *

An elder Kyouya does not understand why he is rummaging through his memories; he does not understand how come the past is keeping him tied. And that angered him immensely, because he had chosen to taste freedom on his own. Ever since he was a child he had decided that anyone who would tell him ' _no_ ' would be bitten to death. That was Hibari Kyouya.

The Elder Kyouya is suddenly taken in by a scene change; he is placed in front of the traditional gardens of the Hibari Estate and admires the koi fish swimming freely beneath his feet. He is standing on water and each step he took created a ripple on the water's surface. As he turns to the side of the garden he sees a younger Alaude walking through the hallways for fresh air. Both of their eyes collide, which is absurd, for in that time, Kyouya felt Aluade could see his true self. His instinct told him that Aluade could see what was beyond the senses. He could tell something was there that shouldn't be there.

_A ghost._

A smaller Kyouya appears behind in his brother Alaude's footsteps, always two steps behind to see the platinum haired teenager's achievements. Alaude was Kyouya's elder brother, the first son of his father's first wife. Alaude's mother was a French woman who had the misfortune of being a car passenger one rainy day while Alaude was in her care. Both of them were to be present in a company party, but as luck would have it the driver could not keep his balance on the steering wheel through hail and storm. Alaude was the first one seen by the police after the crash, he sat at the side of the road with blood pouring down his platinum hair now becoming light hues of pinks and reds. His mother had died during the car crash due to the fact that the back of her head collided with the glass that shattered as the car had tipped over. After a few years, Alaude's father had married Kyouya's mother and gave birth to Kyouya as a treaty in between two powerful groups of Namimori, a business matter and nothing more.

 _'Not even Alaude acknowledges **that**  man,'_ a voice echoes like a speaker but the elder Kyouya knows it's the younger one's thoughts. _'So why should I?'_

" Alaude," Little Kyouya asks the other. "What is love?"

Alaude is still staring at the elder Hibari, thin air, nothing more.

"There are different kinds of love." The platinum haired teen blinks. " There is a love that only children know and there are multiple types of love that adults have."

"Do people love one another because they fear of being alone?" Kyouya looks at his elder brother, waiting for an answer. A challenge.

"Perhaps." Says the elder one as he began to feed the Koi fish from his hand. The younger of the two narrowed his eyes.

"Then Mother was alone, is that why she brought  _that_  man over?" The raven haired boy crouched toward the pond. How herbivorous of her, he thought to himself, If it wasn't his mother he'd bite her to death.

Alaude stopped feeding the fish for a split second, then resumed after some pause. "You will understand when you are older."

"I'm alone as well." The child says nonchalantly as he grabbed a handful of peas from the jar laid between them. "I do not have the need for anyone, what a shameful thing to do."

"You aren't alone." Alaude replied not looking up from the pond. "You just  _feel_  alone."

At that statement the child stood up in indignation, his eyebrows furrowed and filled with an infantile anger. Offended and irritated he turned to the elder boy in front of him and spat, attempting to prove his maturity to the other. "That is stupid. You're stupid to even suggest I can be weak like mother."

The platinum haired teen did not look up from the pond's ripples and instead stared straight to the elder Kyouya who felt like nothing more than a ghost in his memories. Alaude's eyes were calm but his eyes spoke millions of words, there was a strong glint in them. It was as if Aluade were informing the other male with his eyes ' _This was who you were, this is what you came for.'_

" When father died, mother cried for weeks in their bedroom." Kyouya looked at his elder brother with his tiny fists in a brutal grip. " _Gross._  Mother should behave like a carnivore, like father had. He told me not to cry and I obeyed. After all, only herbivores cry and feel alone. I do not feel alone Alaude," The child's voice grew louder in pitch, defiant and firm." I just want you to know that. I just want everyone to know that!"

 _ **Love, love, love**_ , what is it good for? Absolutely  _nothing_.

The child Kyouya could not fathom why his mother would behave like the girls from his class when  _that_ man greeted her. He did not understand what it meant to love and he did not understand what and how many types of love there could be. Love held nothing of merit to Kyouya for it was not something tangible, like mathematics where all you need is the formulas to find the radius of a sphere or the circumference. There is always an answer in mathematics while love is nothing but questions left unanswered.

"What a childish thing to say Kyouya." Is all Alaude says as he stares right at the ghost of an adult with stone eyes, they held something like disappointment in them. "You know  **nothing**."

 _Nothing, Nothing, Nothing_ _ **, Nothing**_ ,-Alaude's voice reflected through the garden, creating ripples of vibrations between the scenery. It was as if the landscape were nothing more than a watercolor painting disappearing, the color of everything slowly oozing out like the side effects of chemotherapy in cancer .Everything melted into something else, it morphed into a different place and a different time. It was Kyouya's bedroom when he was younger.

His old bedroom was a traditional room with a futon placed in the middle, the room was black and for the most part clean for a boy his age. The only thing that could be taken as an adornment would be a scrapbook filled with bird's feathers on top of his work desk. The book had a wooden cover while the pages were thick as wool, each of the pages had a see through plastic compartment inside to showcase his collection. He had collected the feathers with his grandfather and father for many years and among his collection were feathers of Blue jays, Turacos and Peacocks. The elder Kyouya looked at them fondly and turned to see his child form sleeping on the bed. The child began to fret in his sleep, slowly waking up from his slumber. A glint of sweat shown from his forehead, his mouth in a flat line. The boy sat still on his bed for a minute, looking into the darkness and with a moment passing he quietly ran into the hallway.

* * *

Alaude clicked the silver pen in his hand twice.

" Kyouya, you are supposed to be sleeping."

"I had a dream."

Alaude's room was decorated in ultra-modern furnishings. The room was mostly decorated in blacks, whites and silvers yet it still retained a youthfulness that only a teenager would have. There were a few things that gave it away, such as a bulletin board with dozens of papers tacked on toward each other, a handful of movie tickets stacked in a jar, those kinds of things. Alaude's desk was filled with dozens of books and papers filled with formulas and tree maps, a French calendar lingered above the other's desk gifted to him by his late father. His room was a contradiction because it was personal yet private at the same time.

"I had a dream that I died and came back to life."

The platinum haired teen shifted the papers he had on his desk.

"I see."

The elder Kyouya remained outside of the room near the door, listening to the interaction of the siblings as the lustrous moon continued to cast down shadows over the Hibari estate.

"Am I immortal?"

The Elder Kyouya turned toward the open door looking for the teen's reaction, not knowing that what he would see would surprise him. Alaude's face looked like he was struggling to say something, like there were words physically unable to leave his mouth. He clicked his pen feverishly, something that the elder Kyouya does not remember to be a habit of his brother. For as long as Kyouya had lived with Alaude he knew the other had never faltered when he spoke, the other was firm of his words and his ideals, like how he woke up every day at 6 am or how he walked toward his school by foot when he could have taken the limousine. He always did things with a strong desire. So it was peculiar to Kyouya that this childish question in particular seemed to shake Alaude from his core.

A filter of red tint swallowed the room whole.

"In reality you wouldn't be able to." The platinum haired teen regained his composure quickly. The way he spoke these words were essential. "You don't exist to become immortal. What you believe to be yourself is nothing more than an elaborate web of concepts firing between neurons in your brain."

The elder Kyouya realized the teen to be saying this for himself and no one else. It was for Alaude's sake, not for the now sleeping child in front of him.

"The body obeys nature and nature is in constant decay."

Kyouya is struck by those words and hovers over the desk of Alaude, all of those papers, each and every one of them had to do with Quantum Physics, equations of time and space, the Theory of Relativity. There were books on religion, especially on the thought of reincarnation, the science of dreams, dozens, millions of them. What on earth was Alaude doing with all of these? How could these possibly be of use to him?

"How much do you know, have you always known?" Kyouya says powerfully with his feet firmly on the ground and for the first time since the dream has started Alaude acknowledges him. The pen in his hand impacts on the ground with a loud 'clack'.

 **"Immortality is impossible, Kyouya."**  Alaude spoke with eyes that showed lonely nights of perturbed sleep. " It would be absurd… if we have all already died, but our existence is stuck in an infinite loop, don't you agree?"

And at this Alaude's blue eyes turn very slowly to the moon who had begun a solar eclipse.

Alaude suddenly becomes farther and farther away, the room begins to stretch away from the dark haired male, as if it were running away from the way he had clenched his fists. He will bite any obstacle to death, he will conquer whatever is thrown at him he says to himself as he begins to run. He runs toward Alaude, but the more the older man ran the farther away the other seemed. Kyouya does not know for how long he continued to run; the only noticeable change that he noticed was the rainfall that had begun to envelop the never-ending room.

There was a continuous white flash in his eyes leaving him blind but even so, Kyouya continues to go on.

It took only one step, but that one step transported him into a different place, a different scene. He does not stop to take in the new change of scenery; he merely continues to run as fast as he can. He does not look back , he does not allow himself to, he continues to run through the droplets of water drenching him to his bones, his insides.

As he ran, a feeling he could not put into words developed inside him. He could not find a word for it, not even when he began to run endlessly past Namimori High, Kusakabe's grocery store, the Namimori cemetery. His heartbeat pulse accelerated, he could hear his heartbeat right next to his ear, he began to hear voices ruminating all around him, saying things that he remembers, hearing things he wants to forget.

His foot lands on a puddle and soon his whole body falls along inside of it. Not only did he step in a puddle he fell  _inside_ the puddle, what an absurd situation he thinks to himself. Skeleton fish swam around the dark haired man, their skin gnawed off, the oxygen bubbles escaping Kyouya like the sand in an hourglass. He closes his eyes as the oxygen in his lungs gives out in the compact sea, but not before he could see a small film of tape darting across aqua. He could see his dreams played like a movie, he being the only spectator.

* * *

A feminine voice is heard.

" Kyouya your grandfather's time has come to pass away…"

The sound of a cat meowing comes from outside.

"Like father?"

It was on a rainy day when Kyouya's grandfather died.

The dark haired boy with intelligent eyes sits next to his grandfather's lifeless body, the boy does not say a thing just keeps his hands on his lap with a neat posture. He looks at his mother's sobbing form, the way she gripped his grandfather's blankets tightly to her chest. He saw the way his elder brother looked at the man who was alive just a few seconds ago silently; his eyes cloudy like the sky before rain.

After a lengthy pause and after much consideration, Alaude places his hands on the dead man's eyes closing them one last time.

"Thank you very much Grandfather." Is all Alaude said as he bowed respectfully, making sure his nose touched the ground. He remained in that position for quite some time, leaving behind a thoughtful younger Kyouya who had only ever seen Alaude react in such a manner in their father's death.

On his grandfather's death bed Kyouya slowly began to feel a strong pain in his chest. An emotion filled the boy's heart that he could not explain in words, it was a horrid feeling that felt like being choked by the putrid smell of a freshly rotting corpse. Soon ,  _surely_ , it would turn into dust.

It was  _stillness._

The child would never admit it, but it frightened him. Stillness, to Kyouya was the feeling that he had hit a dead end. There were no opportunities, there were no escape routes, and for someone like Kyouya , who when hit with a dead end tore the obstacle into shreds and created a new path for himself, something like that was out of the question. He did not want to find the secret to eternity through stillness; he did not want to die.

Among the stillness that surrounded his dead grandfather, Kyouya wanted his own heart to pound most of all.

Stillness to Kyouya, brought feelings of nostalgia filled with pain, so he decided that it was something he never wanted to feel again for the rest of his life. After the funeral service of his grandfather the feelings in his chest remained the same, no matter how much medicine he took or how many doctor referrals were switched it wouldn't go away. So he decided to do the only thing he could do, and that was to crush those feelings inside of him. He made them minuscule as if they never existed in the first place.

 _If I do that_ , the child thought to himself,  _no one will know I am_ _ **afraid**_ **.**

Unfortunately for the boy with the ash colored eyes, he began to crush other things that were important in a person, he decided to make everything that frightened him small, by doing so he grew to be detached.

And all of these things would come to create a hole that continued to consume Kyouya even in adulthood.

* * *

Kyouya heard Tsunayoushi's voice over the chirps of birds. He felt a gust of wind on the back of his neck; it was everywhere, all around him. His black hair swayed in different directions managing to cover his eyes. He sees the figure of the brown haired man in the distance, but was abruptly cut off by the flock of crows crossing his peripheral vision, what were they called again ah,— _a murder_.

"I can't find you."

He hears Tsunayoushi's voice call out to him yet he can only see the darkness of the birds and the warmth of the other's eyes peeking through the black feathers.

It was Tsunayoushi, yet it wasn't him. It was someone different. Kyouya can hear the voice of the other echoing throughout the canvas that was his mind.

"You will become a liar in the end."

Kyouya's eyes darted in between the candles that surrounded him. They all floated and illuminated the unknown zero space in between them. He stood with his feet firmly on the ground, like a tree that has sustained itself for thousands of years.

The crows disappear and show before him another version of himself, a knight. This Kyouya wore metallic armor and a cape that resembled the night sky, a hole in his chest dyed his clothes with a tint of rouge. He was breathing with difficulty and his eyes closed in pain, his arm maintaining the side of his neck.

"The hole in your chest is going to get bigger." The Hibari with blood on his chest said as he looks at the other with dead fish eyes. "Because at that time, I couldn't make it there."

" Make it where?" The ' real' Kyouya stares as blood impacts on the tip of the other's armor.

" To the village." Said the other. " There was a massacre and  _he_  stood by my side that day."

 _Once upon a time-_  a voice echoed in the distance _—there was a Knight that lived in a village that knew nothing of pain or hatred._

The Knight began to cough uncontrollably, having a frantic fit, he laid down on the floor as he wheezed out blood that created a puddle beneath him. The 'real' Kyouya looks at the other with distant eyes and puts a hand to his mouth for he feels something strange. He lightly touches his lips and looks down at his hands.

It was nothing but blood and blood clots.

A piece of film appears before his eyes showing off distant memories, like how his father coughed those exact same things on occasion, the face of his father in pain flashes through those little images, the face of his younger self and the way his eyes filled with confusion and fear at his father's fits.

The 'real Kyouya' began to cough alongside his other self while he hears a voice envelope him once more in a blanket of ember, the candle wax dropping on the ground like spilled milk.

"You had become analytical at a young age." Tsunayoushi's voice ringed outwards. "But that was the only way you could stay true to yourself."

Kyouya could feel his eyes becoming unfocused as he coughed on the glittering ground, the whole area beneath his feet, right to left, start to end ,was the twinkling of the cosmos. He could only hear Tsunayoushi's voice, but the elder man knew that the other was not around, only the herbivore's voice existed at the moment.

"The world lost its brightness to you didn't it? It wasn't nice to you was it, Kyouya?"

The dark man could no longer breathe and began to gasp for air, he could feel his lungs tightening, his heartbeat trembling inside of him. In the corner of his vision he sees a film strip showing his younger self walking to his father's grave. The young boy had on a yellow raincoat ( the one Alaude forced him to wear) and dropped a bouquet of hydrangea on the grass.

' _ **From now on I'm going to live with what's there.'**_  The child's had said that day.

"When everything around you is impure, you have no choice but to become impure yourself."

Kyouya begins to melt slowly mixing in within the wax, a fluttering evaporation took place. His fingertips becoming one like a mixture of milk and butter, he did not feel a thing.

"That sort of thinking, you always have rejected it haven't you? You didn't want to become someone impure. That's why you set rules for yourself."

Kyouya cannot be easily molded into something he does not want because he fights, and bites and snarls. He defies logic if he does not like it. Kyouya continues to melt away, his fingers becoming nonexistent, his hair becoming a mixture like the clay of his dinosaur kits as a young boy.

"Hibari-san you are a victim by the rules you live by. Life isn't all about rules, it's about having fun. You have forgotten something important. Have you remembered what it was Kyouya? "

_We had a promise made._

Kyouya is now nothing. He has become nothing but wax, choosing to remain as a mold, choosing to not be constructed into a shape that people want him to be.

The world does not change, and I, I do not change. Never change, never change, never change.

 _Nothing. You know nothing_.

"If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand."

The future, past, and present Kyouya at that time collided.

* * *

" **I swear to you that I'll change this world!"**

* * *

Tsunayoushi and Kyouya both awoke from their dreams and as promised the two men ran to meet each other in the apartment's hallway. Tsunayoushi ran past a table filled with crepes and freshly squeezed orange juice while Kyouya ran past Hibird and his living room that felt like an office, his books all aligned in alphabetical order. The destination was the same, how they got there differed.

The two men both opened the doors at the same time, making contact with their eyes. As soon as Tsunayoushi saw Hibari in his black pajamas he felt a sudden wave of relief. They were both safe, they were both  _here._

" Hibari-san," Breathed in Tsunayoushi, becoming brave he pulled the dark haired man closer to him, touching the sleeves of his pajamas. "What did you see?"

"See?"

Kyouya closed his eyes.

"I had a dream that I was running through the town of Namimori." The soft chirps of birds were heard over the morning rays of the sun peeking through the hallway's windows. "There were puddles everywhere and I ran as far as I could and as fast as I could." At this Hibari opened his eyes, his grey eyes became lighter as the sun hit them. "I thought that if I stopped running, I'd lose something very important to me."

Tsunayoushi blinked.

" And what was it Hibari-san?"

Kyouya looked at the Tsunayoushi he knew to be the ' real' one. Just a couple of months ago the herbivore was not present in his life, but now Kyouya could not imagine Tsunayoushi anywhere but at his side. Kyouya knew since he was a child, that if you truly wanted something, the only way to keep them was to grip them tightly with your bare hands and you had to be prepared to fight for them. This applied to everything he had ever worked for, his grades at school work, his status, his apartment, his car, everything in his life that he owned he had fought for.

"My life."

Tsunayoushi could only remain still processing the words said to him.

Kyouya was not sure if anything was worth fighting for sometimes, like the time he thought that by praying five times at the local shrine everyday his father would become better, or that one time that he bit his stepfather to death for his useless comments, those kinds of things. But when he saw Tsunayoushi and the way he looked attentively at him whenever he spoke, or the way he knocked on his door exactly three times, the way he puts down his golden pen when he does paper work and sets his breakfast, Kyouya knew, he knew he was ready for war.

"I know what stillness is Tsunayoushi, and I never want to feel like that ever again in any life."

Tsunayoushi nodded " I think I understand what you mean Hibari-san, If it is possible…I want to.." The man lowers his eyes as if embarrassed. " I want to make sure you never feel like that again."

At this Kyouya smirked, " It's Kyouya, you have permission to address me as Kyouya."

The brown haired man's face reddens. " Sorry, but Hibari-san is Hibari-san."

"It's gone,  _almost_."

_"Eh?"_

Kyouya pats his chest in the area that his 'dream self' bled from. He remembers the old lady, his neighbor Mrs. Yamazaki and the words she left him with that day _, 'I can see…you have something much more heavier than a broken wing'._ He now realized what was missing, there was a hole in his chest that kept becoming bigger and bigger as each day passed. It needed it to be  _filled_.

Kyouya patted his chest once again and looked at Tsunayoushi's confused face.

" It is you who's making it go away."

Kyouya looks very satisfied while the other male becomes more confused by the second. Tsunayoushi does not understand half of what Kyouya tells him, but at the same time he understands that it's not what he tells him, it's the feelings behind them. When Kyouya spoke it was like water, you can't grab water with your hands, it just seeps through your fingers.  **You can't.**  That 10 percent that you have remaining in your hands, the dampness, at first that is the only thing you get out of it. That's how Tsunayoushi would describe Kyouya. With water, and like Kyouya, you had to dive into it and feel it around you ,you had to change your way of thinking just a little bit to understand a person like him. Tsunayoushi had no idea what he meant half of the time, but the feeling behind the words just said to him had a foreign warmth.

"Thank you." Tsunayoushi smiles at the other, unsure of how to react yet nonetheless grateful.

At this, Kyouya looks to the wall, almost mechanically. He stares at it for some moment until Tsunayoushi stops smiling, then, stares back. The brown haired man becomes nervous and sweat drops, he does not understand Kyouya, not even 10 percent!  _What a strange man,_  Tsunayoushi cries in his mind.

"Eh, Hibari-san…why did you just look away…" A light bulb appeared over the younger man's head. " Ah, did you see something strange? Is it the static?"

Hibari's eyes looked softly at the other, and if it were any other person Tsunayoushi would feel relaxed, but with Hibari-san he thought, it just made him feel  _gross_.

"Because," Hibari said "I don't want to get lost in your eyes."

Silence.

Tsunayoushi was unsure how to react and was not sure whether he should laugh or cry, so he chose to just stare blankly at the other. In the inside of his mind, A little Tsunayoushi jumped up and down laughing in a small bed.

"Don't you like what I said?" The dark haired man asked in annoyance, the 'Kyouya' that Tsunayoushi knew came back as if he were ever gone in the first place. "Kusukabe gave me a book on the protocol of courting and one of the chapters focused on saying those sorts of things to your partner." He glared at the other. " You should thank me for that display of affection or I will bite you to death."

" T-thank you Hibari-san" The other stuttered. " I-it was very nice…" _I guess_ , he added as an afterthought but would never say.

Kyouya returned back to his apartment, muttering words such as '  _Bite Kusukabe to death for giving me a book filled with lies,'_  and  _' no good book, I did it correctly, that measly herbivore is at fault, such a rude little animal.'_

Tsunayoushi now realized that Kyouya was trying to be  **romantic**. He wasn't trying to be romantic because he wanted to or it was in his nature, he wanted to be romantic because it was the ' _proper'_  way to court someone. For Kyouya he was one of those people who thought  _' if you don't do it_ _ **completely**_ _, if you don't do it_ _ **correctly,**_ _ **don't do it at all**_ _.'_  And the moment Tsunayoushi stepped into his apartment he could not stop laughing because he would never have imagined Kyouya doing such a silly thing. For  _him_ , of all people and for that, he was grateful.

* * *

Giotto was sitting in the kitchen table by himself eating breakfast. The utensils in his hands move as he cuts the strawberry cream cheese crepe in front of him. He had offered Dino breakfast but unfortunately he was called in for an emergency meeting that would begin at 12 in the afternoon. Dino was the sort that always had emergencies, at the last seconds and right before moments. Reborn wasn't around and even if he were, Giotto would have preferred to eat alone.

There was just one person in the house.

"Good Morning," Tsunayoushi told his elder brother, "You made crepes today?"

Giotto nodded. "It's about the only thing I can manage. Even when we were children this was the most I could do. To think," he looked at the other gently, "You taught me this recipe."

Tsunayoushi smiled, unsure of how to react. To say the very least it was very awkward with just the two of them there. The pain from yesterday remained and both of the brothers had things ruminating in their minds, words that couldn't be unsaid.

Giotto is the first to cut the air in half. " Tsunayoushi—" He stops in mid sentence and changes what he wanted to say.  _Coward,_  he says to himself. "How are your bruises?"

"Eh," A blink. "You mean…the bruises that Reborn gave me?"

The light buzzing of the refrigerator was the only thing heard in the kitchen.

"So, it  _was_  him." Giotto's eyes soften in recognition; he takes a sip of his freshly boiled black tea and places it lightly on the table. Tsunayoushi does not like to lie, so he only nods and begins to eat his breakfast, his crepe still warm.

"These crepes are the best big brother Giotto, I remember when you used to make them for me almost every day." Tsunayoushi continued to eat. "It became so frequent that Mom told you not to make them anymore because I gained so much weight. They were good so, I didn't mi—"

"  _Tsunayoushi?"_

Tsunayoushi became alarmed at the tone of his elder brother's voice. He had only heard that voice a couple of times in his life, like the day grandfather Nonno had died, or the day Giotto attended his best friend's funeral, or those few times Giotto and Tsunayoushi shared a secret that no one else knew.

The younger man sees his elder brother covering his face with his hands, how his shoulder shook a bit, how he breathed in heavily.

" Do you  _hate_  me Tsunayoushi?"

Tsunayoushi's face became pained, Why would his elder brother ever ask him that question? Did he treat him so bad? Did he hurt him in some way?

" Of course no—"

" **TSUNAYOUSHI!"**  Giotto raised his voice, his hands still covering his face. " Be truthful, say what you mean. If you hate me just say so, if you want me out of your apartment just say so, but don't—" He takes his hands off his face, his eyes filled with pain, his eyes swollen. "Don't act as if you couldn't care less."

Tsunayoushi is stunned. He just sits still and continues to look at his elder brother for he has never seen him act this way. It was foreign to him, and truth be told it scared him. That such an untouchable person such as Giotto, someone he always viewed as strong and graceful could be so  _vulnerab_ le. Had he hurt Giotto this badly?

" Giotto, big brother, I don't— I-I  _have never_ — I  _will never_  hate you. I just, I just—"

" Then why have you changed Tsunayoushi? This change happened slowly, but surely. Now, I can't even talk to you without you becoming silent. I can't even touch you, the moment I put my hand on you you curl away as if I disgust you."

Tsunayoushi is silent and decides to look at the table as if it were a book. He places his utensils at his side and speaks quietly." What about you big brother Giotto?" His voice rises. "It's none of your business."

Giotto looks at the other as if Tsunayoushi had slapped him. His heart beated slowly, his eyes downcast. After a second ,Tsunayoushi barely realizes what he had just said and as life goes, he knows some things can never be taken back.

Tears form on the corner of the brown haired man's eyes, yet he continues to speak " Why have you always belittled me for everything? Did you know how proud I was of myself that day when I did all the paperwork by myself, the day I chose my own college? And all of you, all of you what you did to me, all of you belittled me."

Giotto looked at the other with sad eyes.

" I passed my classes with average grades, I never had much friends, but the friends I had I cherished them. And yet, no matter what I did you could never approve of it."

" That's not true Tsunayoushi—"

" It  **IS**  true big brother. You were always ashamed of me, you and everyone else, Reborn, you, father, mother, Dino. You're nothing like me Giotto, you would never understand, you're a real prince… You're a king." Tsunayoushi began to cry his eyes out, like a little child. His sobs sounded like that day when he stood on a stool reaching for a box of crackers. "You were born for greatness, just like brother Dino and, and, I-I am  **not**  part of that world. The two of you are Blonde with piercing eyes, the two of you look like nobility. But look at me," He blubbered as he spoke "I'm not a loud person, but I'm not a soft-spoken one either. I'm just a normal guy… Why can't you understand that? You're special while I...while I…"

Loud bells began to chime, they warned of a revolution that was to come.

"Don't speak!" Giotto interrupted, he wanted his voice to be heard and understood. He was angry. "Is this what you truly think of yourself?" He paused. "You aren't worthless. Tsunayoushi you are...of  _ **infinite worth."**_

The both of them now stood in the midst of a grand dining hall. There was a large banquet table with beautifully adorned plates and silverware. The dining hall seemed as if it were uninhabited for millions of years, moss covered the chairs, gold turned into rust. Trees and vines encircled the ceiling, vines and thorns seeped throughout the ground. Giotto remained on the head of the table while Tsunayoushi remained on the other end, both were standing unphased of what was occurring around them.

The two of them had only eyes for the other at the moment, their conversation was more important than some dream that they could awake from.

"I have always hated how they've treated you Tsunayoushi. I wanted to try to advert the unwanted attention from you and as a child the only way I thought of doing so was to place the attention on to me. That's why this situation makes me so angry, I am angry that they belittled you in the past like that and I'm frustrated with you and how you cannot see how important you are in other people's lives. Why can't you take care of yourself better?! If something were to happen to you, if something were to take you away do you know what kind of situation that would cause?!"

**"It would be the end of the world!"**

Tsunayoushi looks at the scene in front of him and notices the plates on the table and how all of them had raw meat placed on top of them. The meat remained untouched, the blood dripped and there were no guests.

"Tsunayoushi, whatever I have done, whatever I have said to you, whatever I have failed you in, I want you to know something." Giotto began to walk to the other side of the dining room table toward Tsunayoushi. The ceiling of the grand dining hall had begun to form white clouds of smoke as the earth beneath their feet slowly shook like a cradle.

Giotto's expression was a kind, forgiving smile.

"I want you to know that I am truly sorry."

Tsunayoushi looked at his elder brother and could not form any words.

"I'm sorry Tsunayoushi, that I couldn't protect you all those times when we were children. I'm sorry that as a younger child I couldn't tell you how much I loved your cooking or the way you grew the best plants in the house ,I'm sorry that when I knew you were getting bullied really badly to the point they broke your arm in middle school, I did nothing and told you to bare it."

The brown hared man remembers what happened to those boys afterword and he chooses not want to remember what Mukuro had done to them.

Giottos tears came out of him as if he were holding on to them for years.

"You were always a kind hearted child but you know there are some things you just can't solve with all the kindness in the world." Tsunayoushi is tearful and he feels like such an idiot. "I really wanted to help you understand that a person needs to have some amount of selfishness to continue living, Tsunayoushi—"

Giotto places his younger brother's face is in both of his palms,their faces were close enough to be able to see their reflections in the other's eyes.

" Tsunayoushi can't you see that I  ** _adore_  **you?!"

The tree branches begin to grow plentiful of leaves, the tips at the end of the branches growing small cherries in them.

" I've always tried to make you see how much you mean to me, but I hated myself for not being able to convey my feelings properly. I always gave you a much bigger portion of the meat in the nabe pot, I always tried to win for you the best prize at the fairs, I always made sure to bring you along with my friends—"

Tsunayoushi realized that the person to apologize was not Giotto, it was Tsunayoushi because he was ignorant of just how much Giotto had always cared for him.

" I always wanted to be an elder brother you could be proud of because I know how our father was in our childhood." He continued to speak looking into Tsunayoushi's eyes, it was as if he wanted to release everything that he had ever wanted to say. " Our father, I know you resent him for the things he's done, he was never there for you was he Tsunayoushi? I tried to be the father and the man of the house, do you know how hard that was? When I knew father cheated on our mother back then?"

Tsunayoushi's eyes widened and never spoke of that, it was an unspoken rule to never mention that ever again.

" Giotto, I'm sorry."

" What? Tsunayoushi what are you saying I'm the –"

" Giotto you are really kind.  _I'm sorry,_  I should have never doubted you, big brother Giotto—"

The ground beneath them started to rumble loudly, like a tiger after a rude awakening. The ground lifted them above the ceiling into a field that stretched out towards oblivion into a bright blue sky.

 **" Big brother Giotto,"** an intake of breath. **"I love you!"**

As Tsunayoushi said these words both Giotto and his eyesight faded in small seconds, they couldn't see a thing and as if nothing had ever happened both appeared right again in their respected places on the diner table of Tsunayoushi's apartment.

* * *

Tsunayoushi laid lazily by Giotto's side, both of them exhausted after the 'static' took place. It seemed as if it took a great deal of physical energy, for when they returned to the present they couldn't even walk correctly, their knees gave up . Seeing as both of them could not function properly they both decided to take a nap in the same bed together, just like when they were children.

"I'm just glad," Giotto breathed in his pillow, his golden hair adorning his carefree face. "That I'm not insane."

"How is this your only reaction to this 'Carousel' situation!?"

A smile formed on the elder's lips.

" After seeing a tree grow inside a mansion and experiencing an earthquake this is quite pleasant."

Tsunayoushi smiled and relaxed by placing his shoulder on his brother's chest. He had never noticed it until now, but he felt at ease in his elder brother's arms since he was a child.  _I wonder,_  Tsunayoushi thought to himself, _if Hibari-san's arms are like this too._

" Tsunayoushi, about your plan to stop the Carousel," The golden haired man's eyes turned into fire. "If that is what you want to do," said Giotto after moment's pause. "I will support you wholeheartedly."

" Big brother…"

The sheets on the bed shifted.

"You've been carrying this burden all by yourself, the least I can do is try to help you as much as I can."

The brown haired man pulled Giotto in for a much needed embrace.

"At the time I learned about Carousel, I couldn't understand everything and I was in such a bad place. I'm glad you're not reacting badly to this."Tsunayoushi closed his eyes as he relaxed." When we wake up, I will tell you everything that I know so far.I hope we can both stop this, I hope Dino doesn't have to be pulled into this as well."

"With Dino, I think we should make sure he's aware and let him know as soon as possible." Golden eyes looked at the ceiling." Everything will be fine Tsunayoushi, just as long as you believed in me, I think I would be alright with it all."

At this statement the younger of the two blushed and shoved a pillow in the other's face.

"You're such a playboy! You know just the right things to say don't you!"

Giotto grinned at the other, feeling the happiest he had in a long time.

" There is only a few things I want to talk about right now before we go to sleep." Giotto's eyes lit up, curious on what could it be. "When I chose the previous apartment right before I moved to the city, why did you and Dino never visit me, sure you visited me outside my home but why never directly?"

"But, Tsunayoushi " Giotto furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes staring at his younger brother carefully. " I have tried to find you numerous of times."

Silence.

" Have you not received the gifts I've sent you over the past few years? Each and every time I went to visit you the tenants told me you weren't there, that there was no such person as Tsunayoushi Sawada living there." Giotto had a bewildered look on his face. " I even went to your job looking for you."

"They told me Tsunayoushi Sawada did not work there."

Tsunayoushi feels like something snapped inside of him and remembers bits and pieces of the days he was not the leader of the Vongola. Those days seemed so far away now to him, as if they never existed in the first place.

Tsunayoushi asked if Giotto remembered the addresses he searched for him in or at least the name of the building and school. When Giotto told him the names of the buildings Tsunayoushi's face became blank.

" But Giotto, that isn't where I worked. That wasn't even in my apartment building. Who gave you such addresses?"

And at this Giotto's face becomes like a fierce lion, proud and baring his fangs.

" _Reborn."_

* * *

Both of the brother's hands were intertwined and laid out in front of them as some proof to the whole world. They slept on the bed and they both didn't care if a strange dim place would swallow them whole, the static where the things they could see didn't exist and where the things they could see didn't exist either.

" I love you." Tsunayoushi murmured as he drifted off to sleep, his head on his elder brother's chest. At this, Giotto encircled his arms over the other in a protective stance because he now he had a way of becoming of use to his younger brother, now he realized his purpose and what he must do. He would become a knight.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you.


End file.
